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Love for the Over-40's

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Splatted
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Postby Splatted » Tue, 18 Sep 2007 4:59 pm

FannyAdams wrote:I guess I'll have to prod her towards speed-dating and weirdos off the internet instead.


LOL. I met my wife through the internet 4 years ago.

We've been happily married, coincidently, 15 months on this day.

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Arizona
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Postby Arizona » Tue, 18 Sep 2007 5:46 pm

Splatted wrote:
FannyAdams wrote:I guess I'll have to prod her towards speed-dating and weirdos off the internet instead.


LOL. I met my wife through the internet 4 years ago.

We've been happily married, coincidently, 15 months on this day.


'appie anniversary!

Sometimes when I think about personal experiences and buddies of mine, it makes me sorta smile.

Love happens
when you kinda least expect it.

A good lady friend of mine used to tell how when she was younger, she dreamt about a knight in shining armor.

Sweeps her off her feet and into some faraway magical land.

Then reality struck.

She met and gradually fell in love with someone, who doesn't bear any coat of arms or boast of a sturdy white stallion. In fact he was the opposite.

Yet something happened between them
magic.

Even though she say she do dream about the knight every once in a while but when she looks at her man, knowing he has always been there especially though some difficult moment/phase of her life, even when the ords he offer wasn't a consolation but the strengths she draws from him each waking day

makes her fall in love with him all over again.

I guess, the dream of knights slaying dragons are just fantasies

but in real life, there are fairy tales abound.

Sorry for the rambling

just sharing.

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Postby FannyAdams » Tue, 18 Sep 2007 7:09 pm

Worldpartygirl & Splatted

The experiences you mentioned up-thread - were they in Singapore or elsewhere?

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Postby ksl » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 8:22 am

Strong Eagle wrote:
Splatted wrote:[If only life were as simple as some of those african tribes, where a married female wears her apron in the front, while 'available' girls wear their apron to the side advertising their availability ]


This sounds like a great idea... or perhaps no apron at all! :o


Got to have an apron on, to keep the shirt lifters away :lol: No offence intended otherwise ones eyes might go like this :shock:

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Re: Try this place...

Postby ksl » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 8:33 am

Worldpartygirl wrote:Hi

Just to say I have just came out a long marriage and fed up with internet dating, usually most of the men are after one thing and the word meaningful had been erased from their brain.

Personally I wanted something more selective and I found Attractive Partners an introduction agency rather a dating agency. They are very selective and try to really match you with somebody.

Of course they charge rather a lot but hey! its worth it if you find your prince.

Good Luck-I know you have to kiss lots of frogs before your prince comes along.
:)
I beleive some of those frogs want to meet their princess too, older men have values and are lonely too, not all men want a submissive wife, some would rather have an equal.

Good Luck
My intro was on match .com we had both signed up for a 7 day demo, when we met, chatted for a couple of months, discussed marriage after ironing out a few things, and went for it!

Been married almost 8 years now, and i would certainly marry her again! This is the first time i have met someone, that didn't wish to change me!

Well not after i had warned her, that it wasn't possible to change me, before the marriage! :P Although I did feel an attempt one day into the 7th year, and i came down on her like a fly smacker! No nagging or I am gone and yes it works both ways! I have never felt so relaxed in a relationship, and i hope she feels the same, being open and dedicated helps

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Postby guruvishwanath » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 11:28 am

SMS, That can of worms reminded me of when I used to live in BKK. Flied Wolm, Mistal Gulu??? :D ** Those sweet sweet Thai people could never get the 'R' in my name so for nearly an year I was Khun Gulu **

KSL, if only everyone had it that easy. Life would be so much better and George Bush would have been the village idiot, Myanmar would be a thriving democracy and China-India-Pakistan would be one BIG country with a population of 2.6 BILLION people. :P :D

I have been to one Speed Dating. I cant recall having laughed so much after and decided that I am not a good candidate. The second fact is that I knew most of the people who came there ** Singapore is such a small place **

So Internet is an option, but I have not yet reached that crossroad yet. At the rate, life is going, I may have to start turning left to reach that cross road. I can only imagine for a woman of my age (37 and counting) with limited selection (I am not kidding).

Oh! at the risk of being slammed, I will say that most the girls I know, the local ones, they refuse to date a local guy. They just think the local dudes are not worth it. Which I think is really sad, because I know quite a few nice chaps. They are not your french speaking, wine swilling, theatre going, fashionistas who talk of their St. Tropez holidays, Vail skiing trips or such. They are just nice, decent, fun loving in their little way, simple and very loyal! Pity!

** Dang, I did open the can of worms but at least not for slamming anyone **

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Postby sourisso » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 11:38 am

i always see people (in fact, local GUYS) saying local girls wants expats.

but when i walk around i don't see much local girls with expats.
and every expats here experienced at least once the "you are white we laugh at you" stuff no ?

my gf is local and im french (and i do have a house in front of st tropez but it doesnt stop me from being simple and very loyal, nice and decent :lol:) and we get looks everytime.

not saying its a myth or what but its highly over estimated and not so common. just saying from what i see in real life. those local couples seems happy and loving and doesnt seems to need expats.
about time to stop saying this recurrent non sense i guess.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:17 pm

sourisso wrote:i always see people (in fact, local GUYS) saying local girls wants expats.


I suppose it really depends upon what you mean by "local girls".

Consider well established, educated families for example. They will have a daughter who has gone to college, probably overseas. She is educated, has her own mind, career plans, and is by no means desperate. She might consider an expat but there are lots of problems, not the least of which is what the family will think. Just as in many parts of the US, where a daughter of a white family bringing home a black man creates all sorts of issues, so too, does bringing home a white man who is culturally very different from her family. Bottom line: This woman may date an expat but is cautious. And if an expat suceeds in meeting such a woman he will have a full relationship in terms of intellectual capacity, knowledge, goals, etc.

At the other extreme are women who are poor, relatively uneducated, and who see an expat as a ticket to better times. Her body and his money seem to be the common denominators. Without passing moral judgments it seems that a number of factors that would promote long term stability are absent: Similarity of interests, background, education, and goals, to name a few. An expat who chooses such a relationship is getting only part of a relationship, IMHO.

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:29 am

Here's a local girl's perspective, for what it's worth.

There are two types of local girls who date expat guys. The first type have what we call Pinkerton syndrome - white is better, and so they only want to date expats. The second type date expats as a second choice - because by the time they pause in their careers to seriously consider settling down, most of the local guys are married and the rest are gay. I have no statistics to prove this, but there just seem to be far more divorced expats than divorced locals, so by the time you reach my age, your options are limited.

If I'm right then it's easy to tell the difference. The first type are younger, usually in their twenties, and hang out at expat joints. The second are older, mid-thirties onwards, and hang out with local friends.

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Postby sourisso » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 7:34 am

so there is only pikerton syndrom or second choice ? rofl.
ur perspective is so wide

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Postby Thaiclan » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 10:08 am

"I have no statistics to prove this, but there just seem to be far more divorced expats than divorced locals, so by the time you reach my age, your options are limited. "

Well maybe as it would take my husband and I (UK Expats) better half of a morning to get a divorce, yet my Singaporean friend has to wait 3years!! Good job its not the "I divorce you" said 3 times or we would have been divorced in year 1! (7 years married already)[/quote]

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 1:01 pm

sourisso wrote:so there is only pikerton syndrom or second choice ? rofl.
ur perspective is so wide

Of course I'm generalising, and your sarcasm is uncalled for. Some people are truly cosmopolitan and are indifferent to the origin of the guys they date. However I think you will find that, although growing, this number is small. That won't stop most people from claiming that they are 'colour-blind' of course, as that is easier than saying I'm a Pinkerton or I'm running low on options.

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Postby Superglide » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 1:15 pm

Wimh, I am afraid your assessment is too deep for sourisso!

Either that or too confronting...
If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes.
Pablo Picasso

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You would need to be really lucky!

Postby Worldpartygirl » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 1:46 pm

I think it would be hard to fall in love when you are over 40, not saying it is impossible but perhaps you have been in a long term relationship-say mine which was long and to be honest you have been relatively sheltered and secure from the harsh complex nature of different people and relationships.

I agree it does not matter who you are or where you live though I must admit perhaps SOME, some Asian woman take a different perspective on love. They view it as a better life!

Me an old-fashioned Scottish girl met my husband when I was young and we had nothing in the financial sense and sailed through this "in love". It was two people who wanted each other for each other.

It was magic. I must admit being "in love" does not last forever but deep love takes it roots..however perhaps he never felt the same way..

So now over 40 I beleive there is somebody out there for me, not No 1 priority, still a bit old-fashioned when it comes to xxx. The girls at my work say it is a different world now and I have to loosen up! God!
What can an attractive over 40 year woman give a man-lots of values, real love, loyalty, companionship, shared interests, sense of humour and of course wisdom to compliment him.

Age is just a number and perhaps men should realise that grace comes with age and you know what; would you rather have a good bottle of old wine where the taste lingers for ever or a cheap bottle of plonk where you forget the taste.

Vanity for youth only lasts throughout the day. At night we are who we are.

Yes, there is love for over 40's somewhere, though it may take a while to find it!.
WORLDPARTYGIRL

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Postby sourisso » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 2:15 pm

too deep ? no thanks.. not confronting neither thanks, but i don't have to explain my relation to the community to prove it to everyone i guess.

as im living with a malaysian chinese girl, im just terribly tired with those type of posts poisoned by the "i know everything syndrom", tired with people trying to find a reason -why is that girl with a white man-, meaning they think right from the start that something is wrong, tired with posts beginning by "There are two types of local girls who date expat guys."

oh yeah, of course its generalisation, just a quick post, then what, whatever you know or not that you are generalising doesnt change much afterall, you still saying what you are saying and what are saying most of the locals every time they talk about this subject (to generalise a bit).

i find this eternal statement a bit tiring, yeah.
not that i care too much about it tought, i just feel a bit sorry and confusing for lot of locals that seems to be very concerned in a weird way about caucasians. let go a bit...

singapore is not too poor, not every girl is a either a rich whore or a poor whore, either desesperate or fascinated by white, there is normal people around too who don't need a motive for a relation, for the sake of them, lets try to generalize just a bit less..

no offense to you but for the sake of the people in my situation, please give some room for the 'presomption of innoncence', i'd said.

i guess you see what i mean and i don't mean more than this.


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