Straying Wives

sourisso · Post by **sourisso** » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 11:06 am

well, still both parties.
cut the bullsh... about "oh poor boy its not his fault, this girl seduced him".

tigerbabe4 · Post by **tigerbabe4** » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 1:16 pm

so wat do u think is the rite punishment for straying husbands & really how do we tell tat his relationship with the other women has really ended ...how does one mend broken trust ...I don't think Im ever going to understand how a men's mind works ...

lefthanded · Post by **lefthanded** » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 5:46 pm

E.G. if you were to find out that your spouse had an affair but the 3rd party is not aware of your spouse's status, would you then confront the 3rd party? Just to make sure that 3rd party doesn't live in bliss whilst you suffer the heartache and pain of betrayal?

Wind In My Hair · Post by **Wind In My Hair** » Wed, 19 Sep 2007 6:12 pm

lefthanded wrote:E.G. if you were to find out that your spouse had an affair but the 3rd party is not aware of your spouse's status, would you then confront the 3rd party? Just to make sure that 3rd party doesn't live in bliss whilst you suffer the heartache and pain of betrayal?

That's being vengeful, wanting everyone to suffer as much as you do. Of course, the temptation to do that is usually there. Just remember that you can't control your spouse's actions, nor the third party's. But you can control yours, and you can choose what kind of person to be in this situation. I'm not saying you should never confront the parties involved. The key question is, what is your intention in doing so?

lefthanded · Post by **lefthanded** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:22 am

The key question is, what is your intention in doing so?

I would say the intention for such action is not for revenge or anything to that effect (not that it didn't cross the mind). Rather it's just to let the 3rd party realise the situation that she has gotten into and make a choice from there. Well, i guess if the 3rd party is smart, he/she will know what to do right?

Hmmmm. . .I believe in karma. . . What comes around goes around. . .

riversandlakes · Post by **riversandlakes** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:44 am

earthfriendly · Post by **earthfriendly** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:12 pm

I will let everyone involved get in the loop and let them decide for themselves how to handle it. People deserve to know the truth.

Wind In My Hair · Post by **Wind In My Hair** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 1:11 pm

earthfriendly wrote:People deserve to know the truth.

Whose 'truth'?

riversandlakes · Post by **riversandlakes** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 1:55 pm

everyone involved thinks he/she is being victimized. however wrong we think the unfaithful man and woman are, they would justify their actions somehow and point the blame elsewhere. probably justified, probably not. who's to say?

the human mind just cannot accept being guilty for too long. sooner or later, it'll rationalize the guilt away.

Olivia Lim · Post by **Olivia Lim** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 2:58 pm

Why is it hard for some people to understand that ,YES, it is wrong to cheat on your spouse and Yes, it is wrong to have an affair with someone who is married.

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 3:37 pm

Olivia Lim wrote:Why is it hard for some people to understand that ,YES, it is wrong to cheat on your spouse and Yes, it is wrong to have an affair with someone who is married.

Olivia, Why is it hard for some people to not read threads before making silly comments? I don't think anybody here said it was OK to cheat.

sprite · Post by **sprite** » Thu, 20 Sep 2007 3:53 pm

earthfriendly wrote:I will let everyone involved get in the loop and let them decide for themselves how to handle it. People deserve to know the truth.

Agreed, especially when deadly diseases are a very real possible consequence. That is a truth everone is entitled to, without reservation.

tigerbabe4 · Post by **tigerbabe4** » Fri, 21 Sep 2007 3:27 pm

I don't know ..I was reading "tuedays with morries this morning " and there was something about how our generation don't even know what we want in a partner because we don't even know who they are and how would they know who they are marrying" ...so much of confusion ...maybe its wrong to judge based on our own standards afterall men are very different from women in the way they think & behave ...maybe they think that its harmless to flirt with another women because MOST men are by nature are the predators !!

ksl · Post by **ksl** » Fri, 11 Jan 2008 2:08 am

When my first marriage broke up, it was kind of strange, that my wife invited me, and her friend and husband to a dance.....the strangest thing occured, she must have deliberately invited the lover too, because her best friend and husband knew what was going on....

Anyway it was at a military dance, and some guy who knew me, said you better take a look on the dance floor, and when i did, she was kissing and cuddling this guy..,

I just pulled her away and sat her down, at the table, asking for an explanation of whats going on...silence at the table, until my work mate, said its been going on a couple of week, but he didn't know how to tell me...I kept my cool...and then the guy came over and asked if he could buy me a drink, really quite hard faced...I told him the best thing he could do, was to walk well away..before i lost my temper..and he did...

Until the Mrs got up and walked out, and I followed, the guy came over to try and console, her, and I said, well I did warn you to back off, the next thing, he was laid flat on his back and 4 guards with pick axe handles, approached me...

I was asked to go with them, and I told them, not without a fight, lucky for me, they were only new recruits, and they decided to back off, which was for the best, because I wasn't drunk, in fact I had no beer, because it all happend so fast.

He was in hospital a good week, and the wife ran off, home...On my return home I confronted her, and she said she was in love with him, and I shouldn't have touched him....my life was really upside down, and my children were crying and confused...

I tried to reason with her, that the jerk, didn't give a damn, he was married with a family of his own and lived in Germany...

I put the whole thing down to her depression after child birth, and me being away in Ireland, although I couldn't get her to see any sense, so after he came out of hospital, I said to her, I will sort it out once and for all, if he wants you, you can have him.

So I went over to his accomadation and gave the guy 1 hour alone, with her, he was terrified, I was going to beat him again, and I had to promise him, I wouldn't touch him.....So they had their happy hour, and when I returned...she was screaming at me, he doesn't want me, its all my fault, because he's scared....

To be honest I felt so bloody sorry for her, because this wasn't the first time it had happend...So she threatend to take her own life again, in the end, I said I would help, her, so when she ran to the bathroom to take the pills....I said here let me help...and I tried to put them in her mouth....It was a hell crazy situation of flaired emotions, I knew her well, she was suffering, and was one that needed attention all the time, take pills and then ring for the ambulance or get the neighbour, although at the time I couldn't for the life of me, understand why she was like that..

Her parents came and took her home, and that was that, I never so her again, until after I was divorced, I wasn't allowed, the army said, and they wouldn't allow me leave to patch things up...never even went to the court on the day of the divorce!

I guess we had been together from the age of 15 until i was 27, I never got over it, and of course the children was at risk of being brought up by an unstable mother....who ended up on drugs...and 3 marriages later, trouble with the police, that I had custody of my boy, when he was 14 years old...

I think the saddest part of the story, is not being able to understand her mental state of mind, when it was all happening, alot of the trouble, was the stress of Northern Ireland, and watching it on TV every day.....

It was very easy to forgive her unfaithfulness, but it wasn't easy to trust her, although my mother said, a leopard never changes its spots, I guess she was right in this case..

We are still friends after all she has been through, and I have learnt since, that she had planned for the confrontation to take place, she actually still loved me, and explained she has no idea, why she keeps moving from one to another, she doesn't even enjoy sex, which is baffling too me

??.

Although that's when I first started to take an interested in people from a psychological, point of view, because I couldn't, even understand myself, how I could put up with her unfaithfulness all the time, when i left her alone.... I thought maybe she just wanted me out of the forces, well she succeeded, ruined my career, and I was on a 22 yr contract, of which I purchased back.

Straying wives, I have seen my fair share of, with the OMO washing powder packets in the windows, meaning OLD MAN OUT!

But you've got to love em, they like their fun!

Just like the men, only the men, think they are the big Casanova's, in stead of the tool to be used in most cases.

I discovered from my psychological profiling, I was obsessed, with my first wife, infatuated, and emotionally very weak...and she was suffering from some abnormal neurosis of attention syndrome and hypochondria, couldn't bear to be alone...and popping pills...at 25.

One can only relate to these conditions if one has suffered the same...this is why most people will never understand. There are reasons for straying wives, and straying husbands, of which most incidents are never discussed, DO YOU REALLY KNOW, YOUR PARTNER? I think not!

That includes myself, too, although i have prepared myself for the worsed, with 25 years of living alone...and just having girlfriends, many, in the end, I even gave up the chase of women, that was even more fun, because they can never handle being ignored in a bar or dance hall, especially if you are a good looking guy, like myself, and I don't mind admitting, I have been used quite a few times, has a stand in, with no questions asked!

Although I am now out to pasture

from the hussle and bustle of chasing the carrot, dog or pussy, take your pick

Forks · Post by **Forks** » Mon, 04 Feb 2008 12:53 am

Women stray as much as men, women just keep it hidden better. And mostly for the same reasons. Marriage aint what it used to be.

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