Relocation to USA.Advice needed for location selection

[one843]

Re Mom,

If anyone had a choice of states to live in I can not imagine why anyone would pick the coastal state.

The difference between the mid west and the coastal states are as different as their time zones. The states that will get you what you are looking for are the widwest states inbetween Colorado and Kentucky.

The people are amazing, very freindly and very excepting of your race. Especially in the more rural towns. The highway system in the states are excellent so in most cases you are within an hour or 2 from any airport.
It may make time for the people to warm up to you but when they realize that you are there for the same reasons they are they will accept you into there community.

The friendliest states for asians in the midwest I would say are Iowa, Illinios, Minn, wisconsin. However I do not recommend Wisconsin because I find there accent very anoying(LOL) but they do love their cheese.

Really. if you want good family values, a great sense of community, safety, low crime rate. One could not argue that a Midwest town with a population below 10K is the way to go.
That and as far as flying time for you husband it is centraly located for both domestic and international flights.

[sprite]

yes, beside reading and researching,it wouldnt be that bad to hear some real words from ppl with experience with it too.Afterall,books and reports are too based on ppl's research.

I m narrowing it down to basically NY or Fremont. Just read about bayside in NY. District 26 the best school in the state. If I m not wrong, Bayside is in the Queens.

I guess Hubby's main office is in New jersey, even though he is in need to zoom around the states,it should be more convenience if we are not far from his office too huh?

I thought you said you could live anywhere?

It should also be noted that people do not 'zoom' around the US via jet. They get stuck in aiports (metro- New York amongst the worst) in record numbers. Air travel in the US is at an all time low,and getting worse.

If I could live anywhere in the US and my job was dependent on air travel I would research airports.

[Relocation_mom]

that was the reason my choices keep on staying among bayside NY or Fremont,CA....

[sundaymorningstaple]

Way, way more chances of being held up in the major airports than the smaller ones. Especially La Guardia, Newark, SF, LAX & O'hara. Ever see was parking a car without proper registration plates in front of a departure hall will do? I have. At BWI in Washington DC. Caused half a day hold up, therefore causing missed connection in LAX therefore causing overnight and next day travel to Singapore. Baggage arrived some 3 days later via SF!?! If most travel is domestic then stay away from areas with International connections. Much less hassle.

[huggybear]

i don't understand why all the moms on this board want everyone to do all the hard work for them? i figure the task of raising children would enable you with excellent multi tasking skills as well as excellent googling abilities to answer questions like:

Why is the sky blue?

If i eat an orange seed will a tree grow inside of me?

Why does my poop stink?

anyways...
if you live in the midwest everyone will be white and if you're not white they'll laugh at you for being different. "ethnic" food is spaghetti with meat sauce and "chinese" food will be sweet and sour chicken that's been sitting in the buffet tray for about 2 weeks.

If you live in the south east, if you're not white they'll shoot you or beat you up if you're not white. They're usually bush supporters and don't know how to read. Inbreeding is popular.

If you live in the North East you're probably among the wealthiest and most highly educated in the states. But you get caught up in the rat race and will buy a Mercedes SL500 even though you can't afford it because your neighbor bought one an refuses to go out with anyone who drives a car less then $80,000. your husband will get fat and talk sports all day long.

If you live in the South West, you'll speak spanish and no english. you'll have the best mexican food in the world and probably be pretty relaxed. You'll support Bush and vote for wars because well...you never have to fight them ... other people go and die to fight.

If you live in S. California you'll lose 80 lbs, have plastic surgery and get divorced. Your children will grow up to be shallow individuals and try to become B-rate celebrities.

If you live in N. California, your children will live in a tree for a month to protest everything ranging from the new wal-mart opening up around the corner to the plight of the Oompa Loompahs in Loompah land.

If you live in NYC, your kids will do a lot of drugs and have a lot of sex, but they'll probably be the best educated.


If you live in the North West, you'll be granola. you're a mom so you'll have hairy armpits and stop shaving your legs. You'll probably live in some community place and become a left wing liberal, environmentalist, and your children will probably be olympic winter athletes. You will drink wine and go on hikes and cook dinner from what you harvest in your private garden.

ok...all that being said...


the nicest people in the country hands down are in Coldesota (minnesota).

most beautiful place in the country: SF Bay area.

most fun / always exciting / never get tired of: NYC.

there is no such thing as "zooming around the states." if your husband is going to do a lot of traveling around the USA, then be prepared to pretty much never see him. In the bay area, the fog rolls in they shut down the airport to one run way. then your 5 hour flight from NY turns into a 24 ordeal whiile spending a night in Topeka, KS. your 1 hour flight from Dulles to Laguardia turns into an 8 hour adventure as your plane is grounded on the Tarmac in Dulles to do a regular rain shower in NYC. Your 2 year old son throws his boy scout knife into your suit pocket as a funny joke and you are interrogated by the FBI at the airport and miss your flight.

anyways, if and when i move back...
i'd live in
1: NYC or SF ...
2: no idea.

i'd suggest you take a look at summit, NJ ... tho i don't know why you're asking a bunch of strangers...i think best starting place would be to have your husband ask the company or his buddies at the company for their thoughts ....

[Relocation_mom]

SMS,yes thanks for highlighting the part of issue international airports would cause.

well, thanks for your contributions too.Huggybear

No buddies in company as it would be a new job, and ppl in company are as good as stranger.

Plus asking advices and opinions on forum doesnt always mean I must follow blindly. Nobody would mind a little more of info coming from everywhere.

[sprite]

With all due respect to SMS, he's off on this one. If it is a domestic US airport, that services connecting flights from O'Hare, Metro NY, Atlanta, LAX or SFO -- delays are the norm. Travel with in the US has become a gigantic nightmare.

Huggy bear, your characteristics of the different geograhic regions in the US are sterotypes and nonsense. But I suspect you know that.

Relocation_Mom, best of luck. I think you are going to need it.

[gctk]

Relocation_mom,

As you can see, Americans (and Australians too) tend to be a lot freer in expressing their opinions and preferences than Singaporean Chinese (which I assume you are).

If you haven't already, do go ahead and make some kind of checklist, with a list of criteria ranked by order of priority. You seem to care mainly about quality of education, ethnic composition of the area and having a good house/home to raise kids in, not so much weather or living costs.

There are many suburban gems throughout the USA... offhand, I can think of the tristate area around Kentucky and Tennessee, the Seattle-Tacoma area and the North Carolina Research Park area. Some parts of Houston and Atlanta also have sizeable Asian/Chinese populations and have some nice suburbs. Personally, I LOVED my time living in Washington State. Consider Dupont, which is about 1 hr south of Seattle, if you like temperate/mild weather.

I agree with what someone else here said earlier, that you have a big task ahead of you and you would best be served by looking elsewhere for more objective information first. Then you can ask people here what they think of X place. Like you say, they might point out something you and yours might not have thought of.

Feel free to contact me if you want more info. I am actually a Malaysian Chinese living in Singapore, but I have lived in 5 different states in the USA and am now back in SE Asia. That's not including the ones I visited.

[remersonh]

Hi relocation mom,

I've lived in both the Bay area AND NYC. Both have their pros and cons (different pros and cons) but both experiences are great.

Here's what they have in common:
- SF and NYC are urban environments. They are just about the only places in the US where you can live without a car. But you get anywhere outside the urban center (like suburban Fremont or Queens/Bayside) and you WILL need a car.
- These are the two locations in the US with THE highest housing prices -- either for purchase or rent. Expect to spend at LEAST 30-40% of your income on housing. (Unless your income is MUCH higher than mine was and you skimp on housing!)
- The tax burden for the NYC metro area (including NJ) is the highest in the country. SF is not far behind.
- These are the two places in the US with maximum cultural opportunities. The art, theatre, and music scenes in these areas are only matched by LA.
- International travel is much easier/more convenient/cheaper from these locations than just about anywhere else in the country.

Differences:
- NYC is an east coast city. People are brusque, pushy, and loud. (Watch the responses from native New Yorkers to this comment and you'll see what I mean.) It's is very much a 'me first' kind of place. The Bay area is more laid back and friendly/neighborly.
- Commuting to other parts of the metro area is somewhat easier in NYC. The Bay area is more spread out and traffic is a major problem. Mass transit is not as developed in the SF metro area as in NYC.
- A car in NYC is a hassle. Outside of Manhattan and a few neighborhoods of Brooklyn and Queens, you WILL need one, but it's more of a burden then convenience. Parking is hard to come by and expensive. In the Bay area (outside of SF proper) owning a car is much more necessary, but much more convenient. The dark side of that cloud is that it's much more convenient for EVERYONE, so you spend a lot more time in traffic.
- Weather in SF is pretty constant and pleasant year round ... on the BAY Side of the hills. (If you live in the suburbs on the other side of the hills, the summers get HOT!) NYC weather is awful. It's cold and humid in the winter, and hot and humid in the summer. All of the concrete and asphalt and tall buildings just make the effects worse. There are about 3 weeks in the spring and 3 weeks in the fall that are GORGEOUS, but the rest of the year, you're just waiting for the season to change.

In all, I liked SF better than NYC, but both are fantastic. However, they are EXPENSIVE due to housing costs and tax burdens. Salaries in the areas somewhat compensate for the cost of living but not completely.

As alternatives that are more friendly to a budget, you might want to consider Portland or Denver. They are smaller cities, but still sizeable and developed and MUCH less expensive. Other recommended alternatives are Atlanta or Chicago. Larger, a bit more expensive (but not on NYC/SF scale) and convenient locations for both international and domestic travel.

Hope that helps some!
R

[Strong Eagle]

....thanks for everyone's comments and highlighted points to consider.

I m completely out of hand where to choose... I m chinese,my husband is caucasian and I would prefer to live in a state with at least some asian faces.. No,I m not racist.I do not want my kids to forget they are part chinese too, and especially forgetting the language.That was why I m lost when it comes to where to live.

Hubby and I actually prefer mid size town...suburb.We are really not city ppl..but what towns are we looking at... no state income tax...good school around and safe neighbourhood...

Please help...

Houston, Texas has a very large Asian population, so much so that even the street names in some part of town also have a Chinese translation.

Texas has no income tax, relatively low cost of living, cold in winter, rarely freezes, snow even more rare. Plenty of recreational opportunities. Houston is a very culturally mixed city, no majority race. White, black, hispanic, asian, indian... you will find them all there. Or look at Austin... and yes, Luckenbach would be great for country living.

New York? Cold. High taxes. Very impersonal in the urban areas. Crowded. Can't imagine moving there.

[sprite]

I hope Relocation_Mom checks in and lets us know where they end up. I think if her husband is from the US (he is caucasian but she doesn't mention where he is from) he must have a shortlist. I can't imagine anyone being able to afford NYC or San Francisco, or maybe just a small percentage. Housing is just astronimical there.

[huggybear]

houston blows.
austin is a nice city and very fun .... yes there is no income tax but what about property taxes? In Florida there's no income tax either but their real estate tax is killer.


REMERSONH
i've lived in both .... i don't think NYers are rude per se...they are just blunt and to the point

i agree with ur points ... while young i prefer NYC ... if family and kids ... probably SF.

to all the others (who i've loved before....)
there is a reason that prices for housing are sky high in nyc and sf ... because it's so awesome to live there ... EVERYONE IS TRYING TO MOVE THERE.

if everyone fled new york city for the lovely confines of Houston, TX then i think 8 million people would drive the prices of houston to the moon too.

of course if you want space, and a backyard etc then urban environment is not for you.

who cares anyways the housing market is imploding.

[huggybear]

and high taxes in NYC get you things like:
The Met
The Guggenheim
MOMA
3 amazing Opera companies
TWO baseball teams
TWO football teams
24 hour delivery for everything
best nightlife in the country

in SF high taxes gets you homeless people who piss in the fountain on market st or expose themselves to minors on Larkin St (I really do love SF though, their farmers market at the pier is the best in the world).

[remersonh]

Huggy,
I had forgotten about the SF homeless. It's true. There are more homeless in SF, and the ones that are there are crazier and stinkier than the NYC homeless.

But on the NYC plus side, you left out the Whitney, the Frick, Broadway. the variety of food, and my personal fav, the best improv theater scene in the world. (Sorry Toronto and Chicago!)

On the other hand, you ARE shortchanging SF a bit. The MOMA in SF is world class. The theatre scene is scaled down from NYC, but they have all the quality if not the quantity. And the SF nightlife is as good as NYC too. But you don't have to put up with all of the inconveniences of NYC. Every day services (like dry cleaning, grocery and other retail stores, banks, laundromats etc.) have much more convenient hours. Plus SF has good Mexican food which is COMPLETELY impossible to find in NYC!
I'll take convenience over bars open until 4 AM anyday!!!

And then people are just nicer in SF. I was very careful NOT to call New Yorkers rude. There's a difference between people who are aware of manners and social niceties and don't follow them (rude!) vs people who just don't know any better (the average New Yorker).

[gctk]

Consider the greater Washington DC metro area and Seattle-Tacoma area too. You can get by without a car, although there will be places which cannot be accessed by public transportation. Then again, that's probably off-topic... I can't imagine using public transport to ferry 3 kids here and there for their school and extra-curricular activities....

Both those areas are still pricey but definitely not as bad as NYC or SF. Also, both places have some pretty nice suburbs... Alexandria, VA & Rockville, MD in the DC metro area, for example. And they both have significant Asian populations too. Weatherwise, I'd say Seattle-Tacoma is better, especially during the summer.