My boy does not like to go to full day child care centre

[Tgarfield]

Hi,

My son is 5 yrs old. We used to put him in child care centre from 3 to 4 yrs old. We transferred him to 4hrs Kindergarten this yr till June. Now we put him in another child care centre from July onwards. He is not happy and cries every morning saying he does not want to go to school. His reason is he prefers half day in school. It is already 1 month and he is still crying. I am at a loss of what to do now. Can someone advise what is best for my boy? Thanks.

[No Borders]

There's just too many changes for a young boy... It's 3 new different environment for the past 2 years? It's a bit too much for him too handle I suppose.

Maybe you can try to do just an hour or a couple of hours at the new place for a week, and from then on gradually increase his hours until the whole 4hrs?

[Tgarfield]

Hi,

Thank you for your reply. This morning he said that he did not like the reading program before nap time and he did not want to go to school. I am not sure whether we are giving him too much pressure by putting him in a full day child care centre. Half day option will mean that we need someone to take care of him in the afternoon. If anyone has similar experience, do share with me. I spoke to some of my friends and their comments is just leave him there and don't bother about him, don't let him control you, etc. I am not sure whether their suggesstion is right? Will there be great impact to him if I just igore him? Are we spoiling him? Are all the kids going through too much stress and pressure nowadays and the parents are just pusing them because 'it is good for their future'? Thanks.

[No Borders]

I definitely don't agree with your friends who are saying to ignore him! We should listen to our child(ren). How can we teach them to listen (and respect) us, if we don't want to listen (or respect) them.

Listen to your son. Review the school program again. Review is daily routine before that. How can you help me adjust with the new school program. Maybe the new school program is not good? Is there too many kids there in the afternoon? Does he get enough attention from the teachers? There's a lot of questions to ask, and maybe some left unanswered.

But whatever it is, do listen to your child - listening doesn't mean spoiling.

[Tgarfield]

Thanks for your advise. Its true that there are too many things happening in the child care centre that we do not know and not convenient to question too much. The first reason that my boy told me he did not want to go there was a teacher scolded him. I have no idea the reason of scolding but it looks like this teacher is quite stern and scolding is common to her. I guess it could be not enough attention from the teachers as my boy is new and his behaviour of not letting the parents leave the school in the morning could have given bad impression to the teachers. No matter what I do hope that all child care teachers need to be more loving and understanding to young kids. I spoke to the branch manager and she told me that my boy is enjoying class except every morning he is moody when we are around. She said this is temporary for kids to adjust to themselves in a child care centre. My boy also likes to question me why his friends is absent from school, why another one is half day, etc. Hence I thought he is trying to find excuses to go back to half day again. I am not sure whether how long should this 'temporary' period be for my boy. I also notice some unusal behavior like he stops liking milk and tends to go toilet in the morning. I think he has no appetite because of the stress.

[Tgarfield]

I spoke to the branch manager on converting my boy to half day program temporary. Her advise was it will go back to square once we put him back to 1 day program. As she mentioned that my boy's behavior is normal in school, hence I will let my boy try one more month.

[sprite]

That sounds like a good plan, to give him more time at home and let him adjust to his new school/day care situation. It's tempting, but try not to rush those little ones out into the world so quickly. They are only little for such a short time.

[Tgarfield]

You get me wrong, I mean I am listening to the branch manager's advise by letting my boy try full day child care for one more month, hoping he can get used as soon as possible. I am totally agreed with you that kids should enjoy themselves when they are young and I am really glad that we share the same view. That's why I transferred him to 4 hrs kindergarten from Jan to June this year. It's a pity that most parents are pushing their kids to child care centre nowadays thinking that is the best for them. Some parents also do not bother to take leave to stay with them when the school is closed. I am on leave today and we brought him to neighbourhood park for a walk. We sit on the swing together, study those fruit trees in the park, racing each other, etc. He was laughing all day. I can see that he is very happy today, enjoying the outdoor activities.