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Flip

Not that sad

Postby Flip » Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:36 pm

Alya wrote:Er, excuse me Flip... i have lived in this country for more than 10 years, have mixed extensively with the locals on every level, professionally, personally, spiritually, etc etc. I have hung out with the local guys and girls of every race, so i think i am qualifed to throw a few stones here and there.

I am not an AngMoh though I may be more exposed to the western ways but thats beside the point. My point is NOT that there are no good local men, my point is that there are so few and far between and thats just because of the society they have grown up in, the way they've been brought up, educated and so forth.

I think there was a thread somewhere on this forum about chinese guys not being open to other races. I bring up chinese guys cos they are the majority race in this country. I would be open to a relationship with a chinese guy but majority of them here will only look at a chinese girl!

So my point is that some of us girls are not closed minded when it comes to dating other races simply because we grew up in an cosmopolitan, multi-racial/international environment. We are decent women and want to meet men on our wavelenth and sadly there just are very few of them.
Thats not judgement, thats a fact. A really sad one.

I read with interest your response. Btw if ur not angmoh and not chinese, wat r u if u dun mind me asking.
Ok on to the points uve raised.
Granted, not all locals are open minded and granted not all or many are open or confident enough to date women of other races. But you will surprised there are quite a number and a growing number at that who will be open to the possibility of dating gals of other races. As to their preference for local chinese gals, that would be the case for males of any other race finding it quite natural to think of relating to gals of their own race first. Now, if u refering to frenships generally, I would have to disagree with you on this point as there is plenty evidence enough that the local chinese male, the point i think u r making, is at ease mixing with gals of other races. As to another point, which i think if i read correctly u r ttrying to make,the singaporean male relating to local gals of other races, tthere may be some truth in what u say although it is not altogether so straightforward as i think there are other contributing factors at play here. Local gals of other races eg indian, malay, are generally subject to cultural and social constraints in relating to males generally. Again this reality is also changing as conservative mores of traditional asian societies are being increasingly thrown aside in this post industrial age. Witness Singapore Idol performances and u will get a drift of wat i mean. Anyway, getting back on to your main point about the apparently chauvinistic singaporean chinese male, well the same applies here, alot of his closeted attitudes are called to question as he mixes with gals from his own culture... alot of local chinese gals who appear to have more liberal attitudes than the local chinese male are giving it as good as they get from the local male. Mama's boy is not getting as much as he used to get although he is still getting plenty and there are enough of the local gals to spoil him.... thats the story for the majority. But the majority does not the whole story make. There is a significant and growing minority of local chinese guys who are well adjusted and are more cosmopolitan in their outlook. And by growing i meaning numbers not in the tens but significantly more than that. As to their availability in the local neighbourhood it is as in all other cities round the world dependent on the lcircles u mix around with and unfortunately for most females widening the social circle is not a forte for them.
So Alya, your experiences may be valid within your own context but that is not the whole story. The landscape is not as bleak as u make it out to be after all, and the prospects a whole lot brighter than one thinks Of course local guys get blind sided too but they are not having as easy a time as u think. Ah Lau's dilemma tells it all :lol:

User avatar
carol
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Joined: Sun, 12 Sep 2004

Postby carol » Sun, 12 Sep 2004 11:30 am

Niki wrote:Hi Alyia, actually Im not there yet, i'm still in Italy but I'm hopping to get there in the next two or three weeks. Once I'm there I would love to meet up so we can talk about this and maybe go ouu together and try to find these legendary nice local men whose existance has been tried to demonstrate in this thread... we'll see if its true.

Guest

Say something?

Postby Guest » Sun, 12 Sep 2004 5:17 pm

U were going to say something carol?
:?:

Ah LAU

Local guys are fab

Postby Ah LAU » Mon, 13 Sep 2004 1:27 am

Wah piang, all this discussion about me and my frens make me feel bor song. Why the fuss...after all us are jus one variety of human being even if we no always make sense to you I hope you notice my english improved very much from last time. :!: :lol: Since you dont reach out to ah lau, ah lau comes out of hiding to reach out to you. Local guy not hard to understand. He want respect even if he does not speak queens english. btw queen i learn is not very good word in english, refer to he boy liking she boy. So i dont mean that type of queen. i mean the queen in england sitting on the throne that bubbles kowtows to. So if you want to know why local guys stare at you ang moh is because he wants respect even if he looks like gangster. He feel bor song...(how i translate this huh? sg female help :!: aiya means something like doesnt feel shiok....like he hasnt gone to toilet for long time like that.) that he has no respect when he standing around and talking to his friends in his special brand of english.He knows his english fail. but he is in his own kampung (home/village) so nobody has right to tell him how to shit when to shit etc. He shits when he wants. So same same when it comes to talking. for you manners very important. For him, he kampung boy all his life now live in hdb which is actually multi storey kampung. No change. What they say no change in substance...but change appearance. Gangster always gangster...aiya joke lah,, local guy not gangster. For him appearance not so important, heart and meaning what you say is important. What we say we do. No charm but no harm. You can make us feel bad if we dont perform. Tell us and we will try to correct. Our face means something. Local guys are like so simple. Easy to take care of..one shirt last 10 years than hand down to brother etc Very economical, eat at hawker centre, very thrifty eat at mothers place even when married and even bathe there to save money. And most of all he love kids because he one big kid. So there you are local guys are simple economical and straightforward. What more you want? :lol:

Guest

Postby Guest » Mon, 13 Sep 2004 11:23 am

your posts are begining to get a trifle boring Ah Lau.

SG female

Re: Local guys are fab

Postby SG female » Mon, 13 Sep 2004 3:28 pm

Ah Lau's post:

"Ouch! All this discussion about me and my friends is making me uncomfortable (Ah Lau I think you mean bei song not bo song, right?) What's all the fuss about? After all we are just people like you, even though we don't always make sense. I hope you notice though, that my english has improved much from last time :!: :lol: Since you don't try to understand me, I'll try to understand you. Local guys aren't hard to understand. He wants respect even if he does not speak the Queen's English. So if you want to know why local guys stare at caucasians, it's because he hopes to get some respect even if he looks like a gangster. He feels frustrated that he has no respect when he's standing around, talking to his friends in his special brand of English. He knows that he's failed in his English language, but he's in his own homeland, so nobody has the right to tell him how to live his life. Manners may be important to you. However Ah Lau has been a kampung (malay village) boy all his life and now lives in a HDB (low cost housing) which is actually just like a multi-storey kampung, no change there. Though appearances change, the substance that make up the person never change. A gangster will always be a gangster. Just a joke though, don't think all local guys are gangsters. To a S'porean guy, appearance does not matter as much as the heart and his intentions. What we say is what we do, it's not charming but it will not hurt you. You can make us feel bad if we don't perform well, tell us and we will try to correct ourselves. We want to be proud of ourselves. Local guys are simple, easy to care for. We'll don a shirt for ten years then hand it down to our brothers etc, so we're very economical. We eat at the hawker (low cost food), and save money by eating at our mother's place even after being married, and bathing there (so the meter at home doesn't run). Most of all, he loves kids 'cos he is a big kid himself. So there you are, local guys are simple, economical and straightforward. What more can you want? :lol: "

LOL Ah Lau ought to work for Ah Beng's liberation party. Nice speech there Ah Lau, for the first time.

Ah Lau

Dun need to read

Postby Ah Lau » Mon, 13 Sep 2004 7:09 pm

Guest wrote:your posts are begining to get a trifle boring Ah Lau.

Boring dun read lor :!: Nobody beg you to read mah :!: :roll:

christopher
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Posts: 12
Joined: Fri, 16 Jul 2004

Postby christopher » Tue, 14 Sep 2004 12:49 pm

'Boring' has 2 definitions; especially when you're talking about meeting 'local guys'.

1) An abundance of 'sameness'. A lot of us are simply stressed-out hamsters, running around trying to raise our pay and when sitting down to a candlelit supper, we're prone to talking about the same-old same-old: Army life, work, cost of living, our problems with women etc etc. MANY of us are guilty of being this 'BORING'.

2) A dearth of 'sameness'. Most of us aren't like the men in your home country. This means that unless your mind is open to meeting with, listening to, dating, courting, putting up with, and appreciating a local guy, you're going to find him BORING.

Complementary contradictions I concede. But true.

And yet, ANYONE who paints local/foreign men with broad brush strokes is either being lazy at best, racist at worst.

Keep your options open and ignore the one-sided comments in this thread. You might be lucky to run into me one of these days.

And I'm sure that I'd rock your ride.

Kidding.

chris
One should never speak of the dead unless to say a good thing.

eg: "It's a good thing he's dead."

eptiome

egotistical

Postby eptiome » Tue, 14 Sep 2004 3:31 pm

u r the eptiome of eogtistical local guy
try listening for a change n u wl find gals more engaging
'funny that local gals complain about local guys too
wonder why?
look no further than here :!:

no wonder

self absorbed

Postby no wonder » Tue, 14 Sep 2004 3:34 pm

Its no wonder
They are too bloody self absorbed to be putting their minds into anything else :roll:

christopher
Newbie
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Posts: 12
Joined: Fri, 16 Jul 2004

Postby christopher » Tue, 14 Sep 2004 3:40 pm

'They' ?

raises eyebrows*
One should never speak of the dead unless to say a good thing.



eg: "It's a good thing he's dead."

Drop Dead

Gorgeous

Postby Drop Dead » Tue, 14 Sep 2004 8:47 pm

christopher wrote:'Boring' has 2 definitions; especially when you're talking about meeting 'local guys'.

1) An abundance of 'sameness'. A lot of us are simply stressed-out hamsters, running around trying to raise our pay and when sitting down to a candlelit supper, we're prone to talking about the same-old same-old: Army life, work, cost of living, our problems with women etc etc. MANY of us are guilty of being this 'BORING'.

2) A dearth of 'sameness'. Most of us aren't like the men in your home country. This means that unless your mind is open to meeting with, listening to, dating, courting, putting up with, and appreciating a local guy, you're going to find him BORING.

Complementary contradictions I concede. But true.

And yet, ANYONE who paints local/foreign men with broad brush strokes is either being lazy at best, racist at worst.

Keep your options open and ignore the one-sided comments in this thread. You might be lucky to run into me one of these days.

And I'm sure that I'd rock your ride.

Kidding.

chris


U know the term 'drop dead gorgeous'?
Well only the first part refers to you, not the second part
ie Drop Dead.
Get the hint? :lol:

christopher
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri, 16 Jul 2004

Postby christopher » Wed, 15 Sep 2004 9:37 am

Ouch*

Kerblunk*

Rolls
dead
away,



down
the
s
-t
a
-i
r
-s.


IN
A
PI-
LE.

chris

u r so pathetic

Is that all u can say

Postby u r so pathetic » Wed, 15 Sep 2004 11:09 am

christopher wrote:Ouch*

Kerblunk*

Rolls
dead
away,



down
the
s
-t
a
-i
r
-s.


IN
A
PI-
LE.

chris


Is that all you can say for crying out loud? :!:
So pathetic. Ah Lau is streets ahead of you!

SG female

Postby SG female » Wed, 15 Sep 2004 11:52 am

LOL Why is everyone beating up Chris? I thought his post was rather insightful - or am I missing something?

One of the reasons why I would hesitate in dating a local man is 'cos most of the men I know from here are not imaginative with their dates... or rather they don't like to decide. I ask them "Where would you like to go?" they go "Anywhere. Anything. Whatever." So I will usually have to try to think up a good place to go for them, but then all the opinions start to come in once I decide on a place "Don't want to go there. Too boring. Nothing to see. Not a nice place to eat at..." etc etc.... And they are unromantic, quite a few Singaporean men propose to a lady mainly because they want to own a home of their own (and by government law, this is not possible until he is married). Or 'cos their parents have been nagging them to get married and to produce grandchildren.

Then they are either aimless or rather... materialistic with their ambitions. When asked what they'd like to do with their life, they usually reply "See how. Too early to think. Dunno, I only know I'm very sian (bored) with my current job." or "I want to be a millionare by 30! I want a car, condo, credit card, club membership etc... etc... I want to be a towkay (boss) of my own shop/business." Not that such ambitions are wrong, they just don't have much passion for what they're doing, apart from passion for money. For once I'd like to hear a guy saying "I want to be the best doctor, painter, taxi driver, salesman, singer in Singapore, simply because I'm passionate about my career. I feel that it develops me as a person." or "I would love to have a loving wife, start a family, and live to a ripe old age with my lady in my arms."

Some would like to focus on the appearance/character of a lady instead how to self-improve themselves to be the best boyfriend/husband a lady could ever wish for. I've asked my guy friends what sort of lady they're looking for, and they go about describing something that'd suit a supermodel, with a docile submissive housewife quality. And the worst part about it is they're not describing a perfect woman, but the woman that they actually expect to have because anything less and they reject. Then they complain to me how there're no good single girls left in Singapore. But if you were to take a look at them, you'd shudder at the standards they set for others when they can't even reach anywhere close to there themselves.

And some of them are yet in the transition of tradition and liberation. They will not protect a lady in trouble, or open doors or carry bags for a lady because... they pull in the women's lib... "You want to be equal wat!" And yet they scrutinize on their woman's clothings ie. they disallow some clothings from being worn because they don't want to expose portions of their lady's body to other men. They scrutinize on her hairstyle, they don't like their lady to meet other men, or even her own galfriends, they want to make the decision of whether their lady should give up her career to be a housewife, and they complain if her food is not up to par, or she doesn't iron clothes as straight as their moms used to do.

And others (minority fortunately) spend A LOT of time complaining about how the law is partial towards women, how divorce doesn't benefit a man but it does a woman, how they have to serve NS but women don't, how some work places prefer women to men. And they complain about how women in Singapore are not cultured, not musically inclined, not submissive, don't peel prawns for them, darker in complexion as compared to the women in China or Vietnam, not sporty, shop too much, materalistic, not knowledgeable enough about the world yada yada yada.... When I chance on one of these guys, I can almost predict what he's going to say next 'cos I've been unfortunate to meet up with quite a few of them.

One of them was even chauvanistic enough to say he hopes Singapore can become like Afghanistan where the women are subservient to men. I'm ashamed even to think that he is a fellow Singaporean who claims to be modern and mature in his thinking.

There are nice guys around, but they're like diamonds embedded in a rocky mountain... hard to find. But don't give up, you'll be glad when you finally find that right man.


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