I read with interest your response. Btw if ur not angmoh and not chinese, wat r u if u dun mind me asking.Alya wrote:Er, excuse me Flip... i have lived in this country for more than 10 years, have mixed extensively with the locals on every level, professionally, personally, spiritually, etc etc. I have hung out with the local guys and girls of every race, so i think i am qualifed to throw a few stones here and there.
I am not an AngMoh though I may be more exposed to the western ways but thats beside the point. My point is NOT that there are no good local men, my point is that there are so few and far between and thats just because of the society they have grown up in, the way they've been brought up, educated and so forth.
I think there was a thread somewhere on this forum about chinese guys not being open to other races. I bring up chinese guys cos they are the majority race in this country. I would be open to a relationship with a chinese guy but majority of them here will only look at a chinese girl!
So my point is that some of us girls are not closed minded when it comes to dating other races simply because we grew up in an cosmopolitan, multi-racial/international environment. We are decent women and want to meet men on our wavelenth and sadly there just are very few of them.
Thats not judgement, thats a fact. A really sad one.
Ok on to the points uve raised.
Granted, not all locals are open minded and granted not all or many are open or confident enough to date women of other races. But you will surprised there are quite a number and a growing number at that who will be open to the possibility of dating gals of other races. As to their preference for local chinese gals, that would be the case for males of any other race finding it quite natural to think of relating to gals of their own race first. Now, if u refering to frenships generally, I would have to disagree with you on this point as there is plenty evidence enough that the local chinese male, the point i think u r making, is at ease mixing with gals of other races. As to another point, which i think if i read correctly u r ttrying to make,the singaporean male relating to local gals of other races, tthere may be some truth in what u say although it is not altogether so straightforward as i think there are other contributing factors at play here. Local gals of other races eg indian, malay, are generally subject to cultural and social constraints in relating to males generally. Again this reality is also changing as conservative mores of traditional asian societies are being increasingly thrown aside in this post industrial age. Witness Singapore Idol performances and u will get a drift of wat i mean. Anyway, getting back on to your main point about the apparently chauvinistic singaporean chinese male, well the same applies here, alot of his closeted attitudes are called to question as he mixes with gals from his own culture... alot of local chinese gals who appear to have more liberal attitudes than the local chinese male are giving it as good as they get from the local male. Mama's boy is not getting as much as he used to get although he is still getting plenty and there are enough of the local gals to spoil him.... thats the story for the majority. But the majority does not the whole story make. There is a significant and growing minority of local chinese guys who are well adjusted and are more cosmopolitan in their outlook. And by growing i meaning numbers not in the tens but significantly more than that. As to their availability in the local neighbourhood it is as in all other cities round the world dependent on the lcircles u mix around with and unfortunately for most females widening the social circle is not a forte for them.
So Alya, your experiences may be valid within your own context but that is not the whole story. The landscape is not as bleak as u make it out to be after all, and the prospects a whole lot brighter than one thinks Of course local guys get blind sided too but they are not having as easy a time as u think. Ah Lau's dilemma tells it all