Thats the spirit Eagle! For good old fashioned Irish Jokes, the Kerryman Jokes and the '3 Paddy's' Jokes can't be beaten.
Here's a very popular one in the west of Ireland:
WHY PADDY'S NOT AT WORK TODAY (Excuse Note)
(Pat Cooksey)
Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.
Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.
So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below
Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all
around.
Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.
This was put to music - I nearly died laughing when I first heard it.
This should be a parody of the twelve days of Chrismtas, from the guy who played Fr. Jack in 'Fr. Ted' - I've no speakers on my PC, so I'm guessing that is what it is - forgive me if it isn't!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI
Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scottishman and Paddy Irishman". were on a plane that was about to crash and the pilot said to do something religious before they die.
Paddy Scottishman said the Lord's Prayer.
Paddy Englishman sang Amazing Grace.
Paddy Irishman took his cap off and went round and took the collection.
More to come...