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The next prime minister

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ksl
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The next prime minister

Postby ksl » Tue, 19 Jun 2007 3:55 am

Recieved this in my mail from a guy in UK!

This was sent to me by one of my students ....... His name is Simon.


The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it

with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have

the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate

at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a

soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not

belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to

Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number

of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of

change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order

for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of

Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two

must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already

frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen

over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is

therefore, extinct ......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept

shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 19 Jun 2007 9:35 pm

Now that one's been circulating for a long long time. Must have received it 20 times or more as early as '98. Because I haven't seen it for a while I thought I'd Snope it. The results: been around in different variations since around '97.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Still damn good any time though! :lol:

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Tue, 19 Jun 2007 11:48 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Now that one's been circulating for a long long time. Must have received it 20 times or more as early as '98. Because I haven't seen it for a while I thought I'd Snope it. The results: been around in different variations since around '97.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Still damn good any time though! :lol:


yes I quite believe its been on the circuit awhile! My old mate bombards me every day with jokes, never really get to read them, there's too many, been thinking of telling him to stop spamming me, although I don't want to hurt the guys feelings! One or two now and then is okay, but 5 or 6 a day soon mounts up! In fact maybe he doesn't even know that his computer maybe hijacked and being used has a spamming machine! :shock:

It really is quite a bore, when they've been around for sometime!
Sad day today, an old comedian called Bernard Manning past away, although he wrote his own epitaph, which he would like on his grave stone, in very small print, so they have to get very close to read it, it says "GET OFF!. you are stood on my privates:


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