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Common Sense has died! :cry:

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sundaymorningstaple
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Common Sense has died! :cry:

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 09 Jun 2007 12:29 am

Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their misbehaved children. It declined even further, when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims did.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, mourn his passing. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Kudos to PhilM on the Singapore-Forum for this.....
Was too good to just leave it there. :wink:

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Common Sense R.I.P.

Postby NBB2 » Sat, 09 Jun 2007 10:19 am

Yesterday I bought S$46 worth of stuff at the deli here, the same deli that I've been frequenting for 4 years. I paid for it by NETS, but a second after the transaction was completed, I realised I wanted a bar of chocolate too, so I reached into the display and got it, and handed the checkout chick my NETS card again to pay the S$4.80 for the chocolate bar.

The told me that I needed to spend a minimum of S$5 worth in order to pay by NETS.

I was gobsmacked for a second! I mean, hel-LO, I'd just spent S$46. And on top of that the chocolate was 20 cents below the minimum!

I asked her if she was ok in the head. But my question went swoosh; she droned that I needed to go back into the shop and get an extra item.

Luckily the check-out chick next to her gave her a speaking to (in Mandarin) after which I could NETS the chocolate.

R.I.P. Common Sense.
Last edited by NBB2 on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Splatted » Sat, 09 Jun 2007 12:45 pm

NBB2,

I had a similar experience with Pizza Hut in Australia.

I order over the phone..

ME: Do you honour coupons by rival pizza companies.
PizzaHut: Yes, which company?
ME: I have a Domino's coupon & I want a BBQ Chicken Pizza with extra pineapple.
PizzaHut: That comes to $11.80 .. we have a minimum $12.00 order for deliveries.

ME: OK, so charge me $12.00 then for this order
PizzaHut: Can't do that, Sir. You have to order something. The cheapest item on the menu is a bottle of Coke for $3.50.

ME: Just adjust the *discount* the coupon i'm using is giving me so that I get 20c less on your computer and make it an even $12.00

PizzaHut: We can't do that - you have to order something extra.

ME: Forget it, I'll order from Domino's *click*

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ScoobyDoes
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Postby ScoobyDoes » Sat, 09 Jun 2007 2:33 pm

That's the electronic age of 1's and 0's where the cashier can't change the system.

Technically you are being insane asking to be charged more that something costs so the system won't do it. :D

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Postby Kats_ » Mon, 11 Jun 2007 12:55 pm

Shall we save the dying ones...

Integrity, respect and civic sense.
tonton toto, ton thé t'a t-il ôté ta toux?

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Wind In My Hair
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Re: Common Sense has died! :cry:

Postby Wind In My Hair » Tue, 12 Jun 2007 1:22 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm a Victim.


And detectives just confirmed that Common Sense was poisoned by his cousin and nemesis, Non Sense. The poison was slow-acting and insidious, and could have been reversed by a family friend, Stop And Think, except that no one thought about bringing him on the scene till it was too late.

Nice post, SMS.

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k1w1
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Postby k1w1 » Tue, 12 Jun 2007 3:01 pm

Hey WIMH. Long time, no see! :)

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Wind In My Hair
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Postby Wind In My Hair » Tue, 12 Jun 2007 7:36 pm

Hello to you too, k1w1!

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micknlea
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Postby micknlea » Tue, 12 Jun 2007 9:47 pm

Yeah, hi there WIMH...we have missed you around the place. Hope everything is OK with you.
"My husband said it was him or the cat...I miss him sometimes." - Unknown

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 12 Jun 2007 11:02 pm

Oh, she's been lurking around! :wink:

Slaps my wrists occasionally. Thank goodness. :)

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Postby Asian_Geekette » Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:15 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Oh, she's been lurking around! :wink:

Slaps my wrists occasionally. Thank goodness. :)


Oh there are checks and balances to the power of the almighty moderator! :D
My business is not to remake myself, but make the absolute best out of what God made. -Robert Browning

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Wind In My Hair
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Postby Wind In My Hair » Wed, 13 Jun 2007 10:50 pm

Asian_Geekette wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:Oh, she's been lurking around! :wink:

Slaps my wrists occasionally. Thank goodness. :)


Oh there are checks and balances to the power of the almighty moderator! :D


I have never slapped SMS' almighty wrists or anything else on his body. But like all men, he is entitled to his fantasies. :P

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:11 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote: he is entitled to his fantasies. :P


At my age, bout all I got left! :P

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micknlea
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Postby micknlea » Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:45 am

Careful Mr SMS, we will let your wife read this! I am sure she thinks differently :wink:
"My husband said it was him or the cat...I miss him sometimes." - Unknown

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Loops
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Postby Loops » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:40 am

Splatted wrote:NBB2,

I had a similar experience with Pizza Hut in Australia.

I order over the phone..

ME: Do you honour coupons by rival pizza companies.
PizzaHut: Yes, which company?
ME: I have a Domino's coupon & I want a BBQ Chicken Pizza with extra pineapple.
PizzaHut: That comes to $11.80 .. we have a minimum $12.00 order for deliveries.

ME: OK, so charge me $12.00 then for this order
PizzaHut: Can't do that, Sir. You have to order something. The cheapest item on the menu is a bottle of Coke for $3.50.

ME: Just adjust the *discount* the coupon i'm using is giving me so that I get 20c less on your computer and make it an even $12.00

PizzaHut: We can't do that - you have to order something extra.

ME: Forget it, I'll order from Domino's *click*


Yes, sadly thats usually the fault of the daft computerised till and not the person on the phone, but then again, they can get around these things, but the person who answered the phone probably didn't know how to do it.

What I would have said was, 'yes you can give the delivery guy $12 and he'll keep the 20c as his tip', but then I probably would have got sacked!

I used to work in a pub which had one of those stupid tills you couldn't change orders on. I got around it by leaning through the kitchen door 2 paces behind me and yelling at the top of my voice - "he wants gravy with that' - it might not have been quite the image the pub was looking for but the customer got what he wanted :D


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