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a sad May story ... so this is Life ?

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a sad May story ... so this is Life ?

Postby legend » Tue, 08 May 2007 12:58 pm

She died 2 days after she blog this......

Worked Up, Stressed Up, Crashed Down Apr 21, '07 10:08 AM
for everyone

I never know my limits til now... Getting a job was never ever easy and having something good sure have a sacrifice for something else. Coming a long line of different jobs and doing different things have got me realise just 1 thing - I could never stay too long in a job now. The longest would be in LTA for 7.5 yrs, that was my 1st job as a clerical officer. After that, it was all sorts of different jobs in different industry facing all sorts of difficulties. I came to HP started as an Admin Executive in Sep last year & changing to a Partner Support Manager in Mar just this year.

Just after getting this recent position, I was thrilled to finally have the chance to "fly high" in a Fortune 500 MNC. It's ok for me to wake at 3.30am to start work @ 4.30am everyday in the morning. But never did I realise what kind of stuff were coming towards me... What I face everyday as a partner support manager is having more than 100 emails per day (I'm not joking, they're no good ones), partners from New Zealand practically "screaming" to be served first, getting their orders delivered ASAP, wanting everything, complaining of everything. Month end was the most "exciting" part, you get to go on concalls almost everyday, prepare backlog reports for each concall session which consists of 500 over orders remaining undelivered, investigating item by item. That's just the qty. What abt the amount in $$? Millions of NZ dollars involved. I've got 6 large partners and these are what I have to handle. Besides, I've got to work at home during non-working hours including weekends, just doing my best to clear my work. Did I mention my team is really short-handed? Only 3 of us managers handling the whole of NZ. All for the sake of a salary just enough to keep myself alive for a month. I'm not earning like the other managers are cos I'm only a contract staff.

Taking over the duties of a colleague who just left on Thu made me realise that she was indeed a supergirl. The amount of workload she handled was a complete hell. I cannot imagine how she could handle all these for 1 year. She was so bloody happy to be able to quit this job. All her stress has been relieved & put on me. Well, great huh! My colleagues including me, dislike my boss. By the way, he just gave me more work to do, on top of other things! I don't know how to voice out to him that I'm so stressed up right now.

I've got myself sick these few days. Had diarrhea last Thu, hurt my knee and was limping badly since last Sunday, had breathlessness since Wed & fainted after work on that day at my office lift lobby, knocked my head against the wall when I fainted, collapsed again last night at home. Now my chest feels really tight & breathing is really tough. Getting up & walk, I just feel like I'm carrying a heavy baggage of few hundred kilos & I'll start to feel really weak & dizzy. Doc just said I'm really stressed out. sigh..... what should I do? Quit? or continue this ultra-super stressful job? I've got a contract of 6 mths to fulfill... 3 months to commit. If I quit now, I've got to pay back 1 mth's salary. Not worth it. If i quit after May, it won't be so bad. But I don't know if my health can tolerate til then. My mom's really worried & I can't do much to get less worried. Cos my focus was to earn lots of $. I really thought I was able to do everything, that I can be supergirl as well, but my health is worsening at a fast rate. Vitamin M(oney) isn't gonna cure my health. Just yesterday, I received an email from my job agency saying that a contract staff who's working in HP as well, passed away from heart attack, leaving his wife & kids... deja vu? coincidental? a warning sign? I dunno. I don't wanna end up dead for the sake of dough. The moral of the story is don't ever fall in love with your company or your job.

Tags: dear diary
Prev: Think Before Passing Unfair Judgements

tho i dunno you May..... May you find the peace now.........
"Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that possibly can,for it may only come once~"

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