Divorce

[Georis]

I have been married for 10yrs and have a 8yrs old son . All this while I am not happy with it. Because my husband is lazy , taking drugs and irresponsible. Finally in April 2005, I decided to file for a divorce but in Aug 2005 he met an serious accident. Doctor have certify him permanent disable. Currently he is staying in a nursing home. Mental is not normal. Response also very slow. so I have on hold for the case till now. I think i have be a bit selfish, to settle the case soonest. Coz i am consider young (31). I do not want my life just end like tat. But it is very complicated and costly for this case now. Can anyone advice me?

[David91]

If your husband is not mentally competent, the case will be both easier and more difficult. It is easier in the sense that, once you have proved the incapacity, there will be no defence or dispute over custody and access in long-drawn-out proceedings. But proof of the incapacity requires expert evidence which is more expensive in the short term.

It depends what you want. If you view the marriage as "dead", then you should get on with your life in a constructive way. Always looking back is not a helpful attitude when trying to go forward. If this involves forming new relationships, then you need to ask yourself how important it is that you are "free" to remarry. Although Singapore is a little conservative, it is still possible to cohabit here. It just depends on how much you "need" the relationship and are prepared to tolerate whatever social disapproval comes your way. If you feel that you can only form new relationships if you are divorced, then you have little choice. You will have to get the divorce completed. The ground of the divorce was set before the accident. No one will think any the worse of you because you go through the process now.

Just be honest with yourself and ask what you think is in your own interests and the interest of your son. That honesty will determine what you will do and the price you will pay to get what you actually want.