I am the only expat stay at home Dad in singapore?

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Thu, 22 Feb 2007 11:04 am

My wife and I relocated here two years ago and we had a baby girl a year later, I gave up my job as an architect to look after baby. I thought during my daily walkies i would bump into other Dads but they seem pretty thin on the ground.

chixchix · Post by **chixchix** » Thu, 22 Feb 2007 4:01 pm

Wow,,are you a full time daddy ? arent you planning to work... I don think there are much Stay at home dad's available here.. but I know one.

...

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Thu, 22 Feb 2007 8:46 pm

Apart from breast feeding (which was expressed) looked after her from day one.

I thought I had the easy option, wife works I can stay at home watch TV while baby sleeps, and play golf while she sits in the buggy... I was in for a real shock!!

As to going back to work maybe in a few years. We made the decision that the baby will not be brought up by a nanny or maids, at least in the first few years of her life.

Maybe i should start a Singapore Stay at home Dad web site.

k1w1 · Post by **k1w1** » Thu, 22 Feb 2007 9:04 pm

Contact ANZA. They have a group called "secret men's business". (It's a playgroup for stay at home dad's and their kids. )

chixchix · Post by **chixchix** » Sat, 24 Feb 2007 6:06 pm

hahahah . usually the lady stays at home and look after the baby ,, but how come in this case ,,its you who took the turn ?

Anyways ,I think you must be a very patient and sweet guy ..cos I think not all men can have the patience to look after babies ..good luck..

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Sat, 24 Feb 2007 6:34 pm

Chixchix,

actually lots of us do, but almost 100% of the time it's expat males due to the Singaporean male still being a bit uptight about giving up the patriarchal duty of being the "Man" of the house. While I was not a stay at home father, my wife and I shared duties equally with both of our kids. She a stay at home mother during the day and I a stay at home father at night. (I worked days and my wife was a professional singer so worked nights) It worked fine. But then again, like the OP, we feel comfortable with our manhood unlike the majority of the local variety.

Silly Gallah · Post by **Silly Gallah** » Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:38 pm

Well said SMS...and I can tell you not all women have the patience to look after babies either

I am very glad to be past that stage.

OP - if your children are at school you could try contacting the school and see if they have a group, or contacting other dads through the school / preschool.

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Fri, 02 Mar 2007 4:04 pm

Thanks for the pointers and as to why I ended up looking after the baby, me as an architect working long hours and earning peanuts, wife is an expat banker with a large international bank, so doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out who stays at home.

I love it, sure its a lot tougher than I thought, but when I get emails from chums stuck in an office in the UK, I send them messages saying walking by the beach pushing the pram and drinking a coconut, it sure winds them up.

Most of the old codgers you meet always say the biggest regret in life is spending so much time working and never seeing the kids grow up. Cheesy as this sounds there are some really special moments with the sprog her first smile, walk, etc. which sadly my wife has missed.

True the local have a real problem getting their head around the concept of men staying at home looking after baby.

Kurozu · Post by **Kurozu** » Thu, 08 Mar 2007 8:48 am

I prefer to stay at home and work. This is the digital age, lots of work can be done at home using the computer.

I remember reading an articles about stay-home dad in US working as an online trading for 4 days and 3 days off.

skye · Post by **skye** » Thu, 08 Mar 2007 1:48 pm

Another stay-at-home dad has just started organising a monthly get-together at the Pantry at Loewen Gardens near Dempsey Road, 1st Wednesday of the month, so unfortunately you've just missed the first one. The place has a nice enclosed garden and the flyer I saw said kids were welcome. Might be worth going along at 10am next month to see who else is out there in the same situation.

JT Sleeps · Post by **JT Sleeps** » Mon, 31 Mar 2008 6:48 pm

Hi All,

I am writing a story for a local women's magazine featuring stay-home dads based in Singapore at the moment and was wondering if any of you would be interested or wouldn't mind being featured.

Please contact me at [email protected].

Hope to hear from you soon!

Cheers,
Justina

boffenl · Post by **boffenl** » Thu, 24 Apr 2008 5:21 pm

There are a lot more stay-at-home Dad's than you think. Tons of dads stay home and/or work from home. My husband is like you, been the primary caregiver since day one. He and my daughter share a bond that is amazing. I couldn't have given her anything more precious than a childhood with her dad. Besides, he's WAY better suited to stay home than I am. Good luck finding others, it can be lonely, but immensely rewarding all the same.

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Sun, 27 Apr 2008 1:01 am

boffenl wrote: Good luck finding others, it can be lonely, but immensely rewarding all the same.

Thanks and yes you are right very rewarding, now she is older it really is good fun, brings out the kid in all of us, we are both sitting here wrapped head to toe in toilet roll paper playing Egyptians mummies

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:12 am

QRM wrote:
boffenl wrote: Good luck finding others, it can be lonely, but immensely rewarding all the same.

Thanks and yes you are right very rewarding, now she is older its a really is good fun, brings out the kid in all of us, we are both sitting here wrapped head to toe in toilet roll paper playing Egyptians mummies

More like Egyptian Daddy in your case. I doubt if you look like Nefertiti. King Tutankhamen maybe!

QRM · Post by **QRM** » Sun, 27 Apr 2008 8:27 pm

kwokhua wrote:I am aspiring to be a Stay-At-Home Dad too.

Hope to see a "Stay-at-Home Dads" group being formed in Singapore soon.

Regards.

I planned on working part time when baby was asleep, or happily playing by herself in her cot. so naive then!! Its a full time and occasionally a back breaking job, and we have helpers here. How other mothers manage with cooking, cleaning, shopping, and keeping two babies occupied is beyond me. best of luck

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I am the only expat stay at home Dad in singapore?

I am the only expat stay at home Dad in singapore?

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