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Men and Women

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abbby
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Men and Women

Postby abbby » Thu, 25 Jan 2007 11:41 pm

Got it from a friend, worth sharing..

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

____________ _________ _________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

____________ _________ ________


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

____________ _________ ________


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

____________ _________ ________


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

____________ _________ _________


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

____________ _________ _________


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

____________ _________ ________


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

____________ _________ ________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

:wink:

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

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Postby Bafana » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 8:52 am

LOL - How true :cool:
Be Like Water

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Postby papaya » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 12:42 pm

whatever it is, moderators and admins win in this forum.
Last edited by papaya on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Bafana » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 5:19 pm

For alaid back tropical furit you have seem to get upset very easy.

The problem with jokes is that some people are not capable of taking them nd have no ability to see the funny side. I fail to see whats so insensitive - BTW pelase try not to swear at other forum members.

Thanks :cool:
Be Like Water

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:10 pm

The Arena: 'Do Singaporeans have a sense of humour?" The newest topic. No need to debate this one. After 24 years here the answer is a definite NO.

Only thing they can understand is pure over the top slapstick like Mr. Bean. Subtle humour goes over their head like a lead balloon!

Oh yeah, rotten fruit, all jokes are offensive so someone, but then again, who cares? If you don't like them, don't read them seeing you are not capable of understanding a joke when you see it. ](*,) :shit:

Abbby, (when did you get another 'b' in you nick?) I liked them even though I've seen them before, a lot of truth in some of 'em!

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Postby carte » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:49 pm

papaya wrote:Watch out when you joke. Some jokes are very offensive.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

to just laugh it off, it has bad nuiance. Are your parents are such dumb people? the all 4 matrixs are, such a shit! york!

The above mentioned jokes are, in general, laughable, however i found some are too insensitive when they tell jokes or speak.


relax my friend. if one is serious everyday, its bad ... have some balances between being serious and laughing off some lame jokes

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Enjoy Life!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby abbby » Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:51 pm

Perhaps papaya shouldn't even click on the Leisure and Jokes section. Why is it offensive when it's just meant to be a J.o.k.e. Don't take life (or yourself) too seriously, papaya. :lol: and interprete a joke as a joke, so you can laugh it off.

Sms, my nick always had an additional 'b' to it. :D
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

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Re: Enjoy Life!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 27 Jan 2007 12:03 am

abbby wrote:Perhaps papaya shouldn't even click on the Leisure and Jokes section. Why is it offensive when it's just meant to be a J.o.k.e. Don't take life (or yourself) too seriously, papaya. :lol: and interprete a joke as a joke, so you can laugh it off.

Sms, my nick always had an additional 'b' to it. :D


Guess I need to put on my specs more often then! :oops:

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Postby papaya » Sat, 27 Jan 2007 3:51 am

whatever it is, moderators and admins win in this forum. no others :-|
Last edited by papaya on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 12:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Plavt » Sat, 27 Jan 2007 5:09 am

Chill out can't you papaya? Nobody was making racial jokes, you chimed in with an offensive statement about somebody's parents and not content with that you are now having a go at Sms and for what? There are lots of jokes and various senses of humour in this world and what is funny to one or one culture may not be to another. I would hope a non Singaporean would realize this; if a joke is not to your liking ignore it.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sat, 27 Jan 2007 8:47 am

I would guess she find "Borat" really obnoxious then! :lol:

Or Richard Pryor, or Redd Foxx or Moms Mabley or even George Carlin seeing he likes to take pot shots at himself as a catholic. Well, fruity, I will say one thing......as you claim you are not local at least you should fit in well.

As for making attenders laugh at a meeting are they laughing at you or with you or are you their boss? So far, I haven't found anything you've said so far funny (at least in a haha way). Enjoy your Weekend. For that matter, have a good laugh over this whole thread. The vast majority are doing just that, me included. Unfortunately I'm not laughing with you.

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Postby joop » Sat, 27 Jan 2007 11:47 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:I would guess she find "Borat" really obnoxious then! :lol:

Or Richard Pryor, or Redd Foxx or Moms Mabley or even George Carlin seeing he likes to take pot shots at himself as a catholic. Well, fruity, I will say one thing......as you claim you are not local at least you should fit in well.

As for making attenders laugh at a meeting are they laughing at you or with you or are you their boss? So far, I haven't found anything you've said so far funny (at least in a haha way). Enjoy your Weekend. For that matter, have a good laugh over this whole thread. The vast majority are doing just that, me included. Unfortunately I'm not laughing with you.



\:D/
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Postby papaya » Sun, 28 Jan 2007 6:08 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:I would guess she find "Borat" really obnoxious then! :lol:

Or Richard Pryor, or Redd Foxx or Moms Mabley or even George Carlin seeing he likes to take pot shots at himself as a catholic. Well, fruity, I will say one thing......as you claim you are not local at least you should fit in well.



Now, You are talking about, "what you assum on me". it means, you have nothing to talk back but making stories on me and make it fun.

is it wrong to feel obnoxious or, thinking different from what you retards and unscrewed think is out of date or too serious ?

yeah, in this forum, you retards and unscrewed moderators and admins are the winners whatsoever it is. there is no other opinions are correct, but all your way is, perfect.
Disgusting :x :x

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 28 Jan 2007 7:13 pm

papaya wrote:Now, You are talking about, "what you assum on me". it means, you have nothing to talk back but making stories on me and make it fun.

is it wrong to feel obnoxious or, thinking different from what you retards and unscrewed think is out of date or too serious ?

yeah, in this forum, you retards and unscrewed moderators and admins are the winners whatsoever it is. there is no other opinions are correct, but all your way is, perfect.
Disgusting :x :x


You claimed you were not a Singaporean before you edited all of your posts. Unfortunately you could not edit Plavt's post so the reference is still there. If you are not a local then you have done a real good job of picking up the local grammar. I would suggest you watch 24 hours of Borat and then start again! :cool:

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Re: Men and Women

Postby pigscanfly82 » Sat, 17 Feb 2007 3:02 pm

abbby wrote:Got it from a friend, worth sharing..

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

____________ _________ _________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

____________ _________ ________


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

____________ _________ ________


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

____________ _________ ________


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

____________ _________ _________


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

____________ _________ _________


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

____________ _________ ________


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

____________ _________ ________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

:wink:

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT



I cannot agree more to what you have just posted! :oops:
I think...therefore I am


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