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Harassment from strangers: How to deal with it?

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chocoMint
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Harassment from strangers: How to deal with it?

Postby chocoMint » Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:09 pm

Ok, I'm not even sure if it's considered harassment but this experience scared the hell out of me.

Tonight on my way home around 19:40, I was walking along Geylang (I stay along the area). I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green along with this guy (he doesn't look like a local). Upon seeing that i'm alone, he hollered to get my attention and signaled a sign asking for money. So I ignored her and said no. I made sure I didn't smile and made him feel he is not welcome.

Anyway, the traffic light took so long to turn green so he began asking me where I come from, if I'm a local, if I have money etc. I tried to ignore him but there was nothing I can do when he's just standing beside me. I wanted to yell at him or threaten him that I'd call the police but to be honest i was more worried that he might do something to hurt me considering I'm alone and we're in the middle of the street.

I know Geylang is not a safe place to walk for ladies but at 19:40 I really didn't expect some creepy guy would start harassing people like this. When the green light was up, I even had to cross the street along with him. Gladly, I'm safe. but hell, I creeped out. I'm considering bringing a pepper spray next time. anybody, where do I buy one? what's the best thing to do with people like them?

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joop
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Postby joop » Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:19 pm

Just behave like you hadn't seen him, neither can you hear him. And when the light turns green, just walk away, he'll look stupid.
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Bafana
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Postby Bafana » Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:30 pm

Look at him like he is nothing and turn away.

Geylang is a big hassle for women to live in - I have lived here for four and a half years and when I have a lady friend with me (non-working lah) they alays get hassled even when accompanied and thats on the upper Lorongs.
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ksl
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Re: Harassment from strangers: How to deal with it?

Postby ksl » Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:03 pm

chocoMint wrote:Ok, I'm not even sure if it's considered harassment but this experience scared the hell out of me.

Tonight on my way home around 19:40, I was walking along Geylang (I stay along the area). I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green along with this guy (he doesn't look like a local). Upon seeing that i'm alone, he hollered to get my attention and signaled a sign asking for money. So I ignored her and said no. I made sure I didn't smile and made him feel he is not welcome.

Anyway, the traffic light took so long to turn green so he began asking me where I come from, if I'm a local, if I have money etc. I tried to ignore him but there was nothing I can do when he's just standing beside me. I wanted to yell at him or threaten him that I'd call the police but to be honest i was more worried that he might do something to hurt me considering I'm alone and we're in the middle of the street.

I know Geylang is not a safe place to walk for ladies but at 19:40 I really didn't expect some creepy guy would start harassing people like this. When the green light was up, I even had to cross the street along with him. Gladly, I'm safe. but hell, I creeped out. I'm considering bringing a pepper spray next time. anybody, where do I buy one? what's the best thing to do with people like them?


This can be very unnerving for anyone, especially alone in Geylang.
It's quite possible, that, thats the guys life style, asking for money, to feed his habit or whatever else, he is trying to satisfy, through intimidation.

One should be able to hear in the tone of voice, if it's intimidating, although most will feel harassed, and may slip him a couple of dollars to get rid of him.

It's a matter of experience really, I'm sure the hookers would sort him out in one word! Although it does take a bit of nerve.

Living in areas like this is part and parcel of the environment, although it is shocking to some, others thrive on the vibrations.

The guy is probably weighing up the form, that is to say, if he can see any weakness, that he can manipulate. It's better to say nothing, just completely ignore him, or flinch your shoulders to say I don't understand,

Make noises that would embarrass him, loud enough that he is aware you can make a noise, like a dumb person, he wouldn't be able to understand your response.

If really confident you would say you have no money, and ignore him, don't show you are nervous.

The other thing is to take some self defence classes, never attempt to put up a fight, just escape and only if he tries physically to get hold of you.

My fist daughter started judo at 7 years old, when she was 11 years old, a guy attempted to drag her out of a Fish & Chip shop in UK, to get her into a car, luckly her reactions saved her, a quick kick in the bollocks, will drop the heaviest of men.

In fact you don't need to kick, just grab them by the balls and squeeze with all your power, I have used that technique myself, when i have felt threatened it will give you a good 3 to 5 minutes if not more, to walk away for help.

Skill and technique of self defence is very important, you can learn sufficient, to get you out of most trouble within a very short time, practice makes routine, and i would advise all women to go for it, learn a couple of very good moves, that will drop your assailant, even boxing is a good sport for women and defence.

Your confidence will grow, believe me, although don't get to cocky, the objective is to get away, not stand around to see if he gets up!

Your little incident is probably a one off, although i would think it happens in Geylang a few times a day, to get money for beer or a fix.

Take more care of yourself, and scan your walking area, at least 30 meters from all sides, when walking, this way, you are training your ability to observe your environment in detail, and will not walk into the unexpected, especilly in noted areas.

Some will call it paranoia, I call it preparation of learning my surroundings, especially in unknown territory.
I warned guys in Budapest to be careful on the street at 3 am in the morning, there is alot of evil out there wanting your money, and i had already eye balled 7 guys in position to take the money.

3 of us walked into a trap, becuase one was greedy, and wanted an unbelievable currency exchange rate, he wouldn't listen, when i told him in a foreign language, that he was beeing setup, while we was walking, when the exchange was taking place, and he realised, he started to wrestle his money back, only to be quickly surrounded by gypsies all with knives. I told him to give it up, his money is lost.

I probably saved his life in that little incident, they never bothered me, because when the guy asked me to change money, I had explained I didn't bring any out with me.

He learnt the hard way and his ego was I can guarantee you, deflated, although he wouldn't listen, that he was about to be taken for a ride. Those guys where pro's, that work the streets for their living, taking all the tourists money, like candy from a baby. with no come backs, because it is illegal to change money on the street.

I useful thought is not to carry all your cash in the same pocket, or wallet, always save some in your sock, at least enough to get you home.
Last edited by ksl on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby seasider » Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:38 pm

Is it National Harrassment & Stalking Day or something?

I've walked up and down back alleys in Geylang at midnight, looking for a missing cat. I felt safe enough. Of course men stare - I'm white and at the time was blonde. I've had cars/vans slow down to get a better look, and one or two assume I'm open for business. If necessary, I just say, not for sale lah.

The only person to ask me for money, in three years of living in Geylang, has been an auntie sitting outside one of the clan houses a few doors down - I got out of a taxi with notes in my hand and she put out hers. I laughed in amazement and walked on. (Should I have given her money? I don't know. She could do with it, I could afford it, but I don't want to set a precedent. She knows where I live.)

If in doubt, just don't look people in the eye and keep walking. If you're uncomfortable, cross the road. They'd have to be very persistent to follow you.

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Postby Splatted » Wed, 10 Jan 2007 11:02 am

Ignoring usually works.

I must say, Singapore is quite good however. Not that many people hassling you as what I expected.

Back in Australia, you have all the druggies who receive unemployment benefits of around $Aus 200 per week, and they still frequently stop you in the city asking you for change or phone money or tram fare, etc etc

It's obviously not for any of those things.. they just collect the change to get their next hit.

I had one incident where I was walking with my girlfriend at the time and a girl ran across the road towards me shouting "help, help... my boyfriend was attacked.. can you please help with money for a taxi" ... and her boyfriend was in the distance walking casually, off his face.

A polite "no, I don't have money" and I received the response, "You F***** wogs... Taking over our country"

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1 cent worth.

Postby BearHug » Wed, 10 Jan 2007 1:12 pm

Ignoring always work. But would be perfectly ok to give just 1 answer to them even if it is a 'no' or 'i dont have any'.

But if you feels vunerable, ignore without any agressiveness in your body language is usually safe.

Cheers! :)
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chocoMint
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Postby chocoMint » Wed, 10 Jan 2007 8:26 pm

Thanks guys for the tips. Truly appreciate it.

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Bafana
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Postby Bafana » Thu, 11 Jan 2007 12:00 pm

I was thinking a big stick as well - My brother said it worked well when he was in India.

Telling them off in their own l,anguage is also a good one.
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