LEvels of Hangover ;)

[dudevinod]

Five Levels of Hangovers

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and
still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay,
but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you
are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around
the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is
some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.

Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps

shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.

Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching I Love Lucy reruns.

You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't

peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks.
Your head is throbbing.. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke.

Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture

for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you

only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your

make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein,

and even your hair hurts.

Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five Sega!s you take

during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of
every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in
the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to
get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability
to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have
the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger that is passed out in your
bed this morning.

Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented

fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in.The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be

to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right
now...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon

*****
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate
*****

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

1.) Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2.) Nope, no more booze for me.
3.) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4.) Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
5.) Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
6.) Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

[maddyks]

Ha ha ha good one. Glad to see that I have not been beyond the 1 star.