OLDIES BUT GOODIES?...

[sundaymorningstaple]

OLDIES BUT GOODIES?...

Hard of hearing

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman came back in a month to the doctor and the Doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my
family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!"
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Body ache and loss of motor skills

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other and
says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really !? Like a newborn baby !?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants".
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Forgetful

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two
gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly".
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the
name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one
that's
red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to
last night?
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Heart Problem

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A
few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor
spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc:
"Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur;
be careful.'"