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ksl
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two cows

Postby ksl » Mon, 06 Nov 2006 6:16 am

Subject: Economic Models - with cows




I have only forwarded this to intelligent people!! Yeh right..




SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
milk.



FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,

milks the other, then throws the milk away...


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire

on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take

harmonica lessons


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force

the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a

consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to

your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your

brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an

associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a

tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are

transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly

owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven

cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company

owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new

president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance

sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.



A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the

roads, because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they

are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and

market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they

live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where

they are. You decide to have lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you

have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You

count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and

open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking

them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine

productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.



IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell

them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ****

out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at

least now you are part of a Democracy....


WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very

attractive.


AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

one843
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Joined: Wed, 15 Mar 2006
Location: Ubi

Postby one843 » Mon, 06 Nov 2006 7:54 am

You forgot Singaporean Corporation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAYBE.

You have 2 cows. One cow won't produce milk. You give the cow that produces milk a "GEMS" card. Now both cows won't produce milk.
You give both cows away.
Hell you were going to give them away because you dont want to spend the money to feed them.

:D :D :D :D

anti_spy999
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Posts: 58
Joined: Sun, 05 Nov 2006
Location: Singapore

Postby anti_spy999 » Mon, 06 Nov 2006 6:06 pm

nice post. :lol:
~I hoped to join SIA engineering Team!~

BigRedApple
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Posts: 3
Joined: Thu, 30 Mar 2006

Postby BigRedApple » Tue, 07 Nov 2006 6:06 pm

For Singapore garmen policy.

You have 2 cows in the early years. They said "Stop at TWO". The 3rd one you have fine (the famous thing they know how to do), the 4th one got shit!!! So? who want to get fine and got shit?.... all stop making love!

Then they said - Ah, we give you $20K to have the third kid. :D , so I die die also try.... ah - got $20K and a boy too! (BTW the 4th one still got SHIT).

Nowaday, the garmen said - you people not making love enough! No more babies to replace you?

WHOS FAULT IS THAT?


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