Taos wrote:I think its unrequited because i call him more than he does me, i try to plan more things together than he does, and a whole lot of other 'stuff' that points to the fact that he is bored and cant tell me he wants out.
We live in close proximity so i cant help but see him everyday and ache. I cant talk to him about it because he will say "here we go again".
I need to get out A LOT.. i need to socialise, get out, meet other people and keep myself occupied 24 hours. I cant go and sign up for a dozen classes so i'll settle for one- that will help.. and i really need to meet more people and keep myself occupied...(hmm im repeating myself arent i?) not into pubbing and clubbing all the time,, once in a while is ok. but not all the time.....
He's taken me for granted and i need to stop doing things for him. I need to stop trying to fix his life!!! I'm hoping that if he notices that ive been busy and not 'waiting' for him to ask to see me,, he will somehow miss me.
Im actually feeling very very sad and distressed. There must be so many things i could do.... but im so bloody stuck on this person i cant imagine seeing someone else,,, but i know i must... or it will hit me harder than i can imagine.
I know the feeling! Taking one for granted is normal, especially if you have a woman spoil you! Some men like it others don't.
However there could be more behind the facade and if you don't ask, you will never know. Nagging is not the way!
May be he is not bored, may be he dislikes his job, worried about bad debt, or other things he doesn't wish you to know about.
Everyone needs space, to be left alone to think things out, so give him some space, but reassure him you are there for him if he needs you, but you are worried about him.
It is natural for you to worry, this you must try to over come and get on with your own life, providing you have made him aware, that you do care, and if he wants to discuss any problem, you are their to listen.
Don't give him the idea, that you are going to fall to bits, if he senses your insecurities, or jealousy, you may well be turning him off, and he could be thinking of dropping you.
Face the reality of life, no matter what happens, you have had good times as well as bad times, leave it at that and stay focussed on living your life, rather than worrying, that you are the one to blame, or it's your fault.
Just leave him alone, don't even bother to phone him, if he rings, fine, play hard to get, show him that you care, but you think he needs the time to be alone, ask him to stop ringing, until he finds out, what he wants.
Some people just like to make others suffer emotionally, to have the power over the other, it's a kind of cat & mouse game, walk away from it, and maintain your pride, tell him straight, that you care about him, but you have had enough of his self pity, and drop him.
Until he can find out what he wants out of life! I don't see why you should torture yourself, over his moody ways.
OK you may love him more than anything, but like all things in life, you must learn to let go, you have no control over his loving you, so back off, give your ego a talking too and say " You have no control over others, or destiny" but you will wait a while and see what happens, before jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, by that I mean, before you have another relationship. learn to control your ego, wants and emotional needs.
Many loved ones pass away every single minute of the day, you can see the pain and suffering, yet you know, it will happen, so learn to live with parting from each other.
