file a complain against a lawyer?

[siennacyan]

I've a question... Can I file a complain against a lawyer for improper conduct? She is a junior lawyer in an established law firm. My husband's company engaged the firm's services for some business related matter. She had an affair with him. She even had the audacity to go on "business" trips with him, & they even went shopping for toys for my baby. So, she knew that he was married with a baby.

Even when she knew that I've found out, & my husband forwarded some of my emails to her, she still did not break it off. In fact, I think she doubled her efforts... to me, she's just a slut (pardon the language).

What I want to know is that can I file a complain against her? To me, a person who can't conduct themselves in the proper moral conduct is not fit to be a legal advisor.

Please share your thoughts.

[jazzmatazzie]

Go to the law society of singapore and lodge a complaint. http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/

[siennacyan]

I was looking at the website. But there's nothing (or maybe I've missed it out?) on a lawyer's moral conduct... that is non work related. Does the law society have guidelines on how a lawyer should behave outside of work?

I'm a little apprehensive about filing the complaint when I have not made sure of how the system works.

Thanks for your patience... I'm ranting.

[Wind In My Hair]

siennacyan,

I can understand you're hurt and angry. If you don't mind me asking, are you filing the complaint as a form of vengeance? That's a perfectly understandable reaction. It's always painful to discover you've been cheated on, and sometimes you just feel like justice should be served, that it's unfair that you're the only one suffering.

Not sure if the law society censures their members' conduct in their private lives. And even if they did, my guess is that this is not a serious offence (sorry to sound so harsh but I'm comparing it to the usual cases for which lawyers are censured, like gross overcharging and other professional malpractices) and she may get a warning at most.

Complaining to the law firm seems to me a more viable option as they have a vested interest in maintaining their reputation. Still, it seems that your husband, and not you, is the paying client and it sounds like he was a willing party in the affair (I mean, she didn't rape him or anything, sorry to point this out) so I'm not sure if they'll take any action against her.

Just a suggestion: would it make more sense for you to expend your energies on improving your marriage rather than seeking to punish the other woman? It's really none of my business but why did your husband stray in the first place? What did she offer him that he wasn't getting from you? These are tough questions and I'm not saying the affair was your fault. I just wonder if it's possible to make something good out of it, rather than leave a trail of wretchedness.

Just my thoughts. Feel free to ignore them. I'm sure that if I were in your position I wouldn't be writing with such detachment. Hope everything works out for you.

[siennacyan]

I've been thinking... it's an act of vengence, & also an act of stopping the lawyer from doing the same to other women.

I did ask my husband. He just said "I admit, I'm just bored. Anyway, I don't love you anymore, so I'm moving out". He has since left. He had the affair when our baby was only 5 months old.. & now my boy is only 10 months. I'm just disgusted & flabbergasted. With him, & the lawyer. I'm not a saint... but I know I would never sleep with a married man.

I thought the problem was the baby. But looking back, I've decided to stop blaming myself. Since baby, I've been trying to date my husband... spice up our sex life... I've been trying to be the cool wife I once was. He never responded. Now I know why... because he has her on the side.

The option of law firm vs law society sounds appealing to me. In any case, I would like her pulled off the job with my husband's company.

Yes, I admit I'm very very very hurt. But at the same time, I'm also concern & curious... how anyone with low morals can be a lawyer? It's just so paradoxical.

[Wind In My Hair]

Poor you. Life is unfair, but it's all we've got.

I would suggest that you hire the same firm to fight for your divorce on grounds of adultery, as they have all the evidence in-house and the negative publicity wouldn't do her career any good; except that you probably want a disinterested party to fight for your best interests and you don't know her standing in the firm and this could backfire. So practically I don't think that is the way to go. Just me having evil thoughts and feeling indignant on your behalf.

You know the saying, the best revenge is to live well? My honest, serious suggestion is that you let go and get on with life. A million times more easily said than done, I know. But it really is the best way. Your baby doesn't need a mum eaten up with bitterness, whose waking thoughts are about ruining someone else's life rather than making the best of her own. The poor kid is already growing up without a daddy. You're all she/he has, and you HAVE to be strong and positive. For your baby's sake. Forget the woman. Live a good life for your child's sake.

Sorry for the sermon. My heart goes out to you. Vent here all you like, and then please, let your child feel love emanating from you rather than hatred. Gosh now I sound like a hippie. Hope you know what I mean.

[Barczar]

This may sound a little harsh, however, Morality is NOT legality. The fact that the lawyer had an affair with your husband has nothing at all to do with the lawyer, law firm or legality involved. The woman could have been a taxi driver or a sales lady, it makes no difference what her job or career is, the fact is that another woman had an affair with your husband. You did not engage her legal services, nor did your husband, it was in fact his company that engaged the services of her law firm and the two ended up working together (etc)...

I would think that you would have a very difficult challenge ahead when trying to discredit a lawyer and her respective lawfirm over anything morally wrong...what they did was not legally wrong.

It sucks yeah, but hey...that's the law!