Have you any friend who take drugs??

azzou · Post by **azzou** » Thu, 22 Jun 2006 10:54 am

Hi everyall , this is my question , Have you any friend , adult , relative... who take or has taken drugs in the past?

how you helped him?

thanks all

Wind In My Hair · Post by **Wind In My Hair** » Thu, 22 Jun 2006 2:23 pm

not anyone that i know of.

i have a feeling our veteran SMS will have a few stories to tell so just wait for him to make an appearance here!

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Thu, 22 Jun 2006 9:23 pm

Okay folks, It's the Hippy Dippy Pest Control Company" reporting for duty!

Our Motto: We'll kill your bugs and smoke your roaches!

Seriously, as a survivor of the 60's flower power generation of the US and a NAM Vet, where the devil to start. Let me think about it for a while and I'll come back.

michaeldistel · Post by **michaeldistel** » Thu, 22 Jun 2006 11:44 pm

Hey azzou,

Sounds like you are having problems with a friend or family member who are taking drugs. I know this sounds silly but I feel reluctant talking about what I know about drugs on a public forum because of how the Singapore Government feels about them and the fact I’m waiting for my EP, which I really want.

I will say this I grew up very poor, surrounded by drugs and one of the reasons I moved to Singapore is because I like the drugs laws here. I have never taken drugs myself and never will but I have had many people around me who have and some of them I have tried to help.

First thing I will say is you have to have a strong will, a heart of gold and the endurance to see it to the end because there is no quick way to help.

The second thing I’ll say is that it is not drugs you are fighting but the person who is taking them. If a person is happy with their life and takes drugs most of the time it won’t be a problem, they will stop by themselves. The problem is when a person is taking drugs because they are unhappy and using them to run or hide from problems in their lives. In this case it is very hard for them to stop, because they feel life with drugs feels better than life without. You can’t stop someone from taking drugs but you can help them feel good about themselves and show them life is better without them and then the rest is up to them.

Third and last, try to have a ‘third person’ mind set when trying to help. In other words don’t get sucked into the problem and end up wasting your life because of someone else. Trust me I know how hard it is to remove yourself from the problem and see things from the outside. If you can’t do this then don’t help the person even if they are very dear to you. The truth is you can’t help them if you get sucked in and help yourself first.

EDIT: I didn't mean you will get sucked into taking drugs but you will be sucked into feeling the pain and saddness of helping someone you care about.

If need some one to talk to please feel free to PM me with your email address and I’m more than willing to tell you about my life and the things I have learnt about drugs.

Also if other peoples on the forum what to know more about drugs please feel free to ask questions and I’ll try to answer them the best I can.

Never let anyone tell you drugs are not that bad, because they affect the way your mind works and there is no going back. I don’t know about everyone else but I’m willing to lose everything else before my mind.

That’s a long message, I didn’t mean for it to get that long but this is something close to my heart and I hope you guys understand.

Cheers
Michael

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 1:53 am

azzou wrote:Hi everyall , this is my question , Have you any friend , adult , relative... who take or has taken drugs in the past?

how you helped him?

thanks all

Hello. I wonder why do you ask

I have friends who take drugs and been to jail because of that.

anyway, drugs is bad. don't take it.

Bafana · Post by **Bafana** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 12:38 pm

How to respond to your post.

This is a really touchy subject in Singapore and I need to know more about who you are and why do you wnat to know before I can contribute to this. I suggest others wait until we get some feedback as well lah.

Post by **jpatokal** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 2:10 pm

Well, question number one is in what way are the drugs affecting your hypothetical friend? Regardless of Singaporean propaganda to the contrary, there are millions of people on this planet who take "drugs" (other than alcohol, nicotine and caffeine, that is) and either manage just fine or quit of their own accord. In Singapore quite possibly the worst thing you could to is turn him into the police/local spectacularly brutal rehab (did you know people are regularly caned with rotan sticks?) "for his own good"...

Plavt · Post by **Plavt** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 3:26 pm

Living in Europe drugs are not an uncommon problem with the result there are a considerable number of bodies, institutions and alike set up to help, here is one;

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/26739536/

I suggest you use Google to find similar elsewhere in the world, I am not sure I agree very much with Singapore's attitude to those who seek help in relation to drugs.

Plavt.

seasider · Post by **seasider** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 7:18 pm

You can contact SANA and Narcotics Anon but to help your friend, your friend has to want help. Also depends what kind of drugs and whether they are addicted or take "recreational drugs", although IMHO it's pretty stupid to take any drugs here as the penalties are so harsh.

I've had friends taking drugs in various scenarios in the UK. I also know people in both local organisations, I have worked with one of them. If you want to chat, PM me your contact details and I will get in touch. Discretion promised.

Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 10:20 pm

michaeldistel wrote:Hey azzou,

Sounds like you are having problems with a friend or family member who are taking drugs. I know this sounds silly but I feel reluctant talking about what I know about drugs on a public forum because of how the Singapore Government feels about them and the fact I’m waiting for my EP, which I really want.

I will say this I grew up very poor, surrounded by drugs and one of the reasons I moved to Singapore is because I like the drugs laws here. I have never taken drugs myself and never will but I have had many people around me who have and some of them I have tried to help.

First thing I will say is you have to have a strong will, a heart of gold and the endurance to see it to the end because there is no quick way to help.

The second thing I’ll say is that it is not drugs you are fighting but the person who is taking them. If a person is happy with their life and takes drugs most of the time it won’t be a problem, they will stop by themselves. The problem is when a person is taking drugs because they are unhappy and using them to run or hide from problems in their lives. In this case it is very hard for them to stop, because they feel life with drugs feels better than life without. You can’t stop someone from taking drugs but you can help them feel good about themselves and show them life is better without them and then the rest is up to them.

Third and last, try to have a ‘third person’ mind set when trying to help. In other words don’t get sucked into the problem and end up wasting your life because of someone else. Trust me I know how hard it is to remove yourself from the problem and see things from the outside. If you can’t do this then don’t help the person even if they are very dear to you. The truth is you can’t help them if you get sucked in and help yourself first.

EDIT: I didn't mean you will get sucked into taking drugs but you will be sucked into feeling the pain and saddness of helping someone you care about.

If need some one to talk to please feel free to PM me with your email address and I’m more than willing to tell you about my life and the things I have learnt about drugs.

Also if other peoples on the forum what to know more about drugs please feel free to ask questions and I’ll try to answer them the best I can.

Never let anyone tell you drugs are not that bad, because they affect the way your mind works and there is no going back. I don’t know about everyone else but I’m willing to lose everything else before my mind.

That’s a long message, I didn’t mean for it to get that long but this is something close to my heart and I hope you guys understand.

Cheers
Michael

Have though about it and my take...................What he said!

Like Michael, I grew up around drugs but was never a user myself (I was also a teetotaler until I was 27). I can't agree with Michael more.

However, I did manage to stop one snow addict by threatening to take his child away from him. He was in HK for 10 years. Most here may not understand how bad his addiction was but Michael will know - He already had a perforated septum and regular unstoppable nosebleeds. His daughter lived with me here in Singapore - not the neice I am currently taking care of however. This one is now married with a 18 month old baby - this happened about 14 years ago. We were already her guardian. The thought of losing her brought him back to Singapore. After many hours of phone calls from/to HK and even more talking to me at all times of the day & night after returning, he's off the nose candy completely and off the alky as well. Without methodone or any other types of treatments. Funny thing was nobody in his family were any the wiser as he had told them he had contracted hepatitis (whichever is the bad one - never could keep 'em straight). I was the only one who actually knew - I was the only one he trusted as well. Today, he is married again, and has a new 3 year old daughter as well and has immigrated to europe - clean and has remained clean for the past 14 years.

I won't tell you about all the ones I've tried to help without success - it's too hard on me as well - but you can use your imagination - most are no longer with us.

sms

NB: Michael, welcome to the board!

Wind In My Hair · Post by **Wind In My Hair** » Fri, 23 Jun 2006 11:38 pm

welcome Michael !

yours was an excellent post.

michaeldistel · Post by **michaeldistel** » Sat, 24 Jun 2006 1:41 pm

Sms and Wind In My Hair thanks for the warm welcome

I didn't hear from Azzou but I hope he/she is doing well.

Sms my heart goes out to you mate, it really does because I also have been in a situation where a child was in the care of someone who has taking drugs and could not look after themselves let alone their child. I was not in the same position you were in, as the choice has not in my hands and for that I am forever thankful.

Jpatokal, I agree with you about trying to help your friends first before turning them in but nothing is ever that easy. If it was only the person taking the drugs that was affected then yes I agree it would be that simple but most of the time there are kids, wives and other loves ones who are hurt. So a lot of the time caning someone until their blood covers the walls it not ‘for their own good’ but for the good the people around them. Remember drug users made the choice to use drugs to hide from life but the people around are the ones who pay the price. I ask you one question if a child was being neglected (eg forgetting to feed the child, forgetting the child is even in the house because their father/mother are to busy getting high) would you not do whatever it takes to get that child away for them, even if it means that the father/mother would get caned? I know I would even if they were my own family or someone who is dear to me.

That is my two cents, (lol well a lot more than two cents but hey)

Michael

azzou · Post by **azzou** » Sun, 25 Jun 2006 11:43 pm

Hi again

i've a friend 23 years old. He and his parents haven't economic problems.
He lives a normal life , he doesn't drink , he go to gym , he works ,... he is a good person

His problem?? since summer 2005 he has been taken marijuana every weekend. (only saturdays)
He says me , don't worry about me , i take it under control (yes , he take marijuana under control)
but i am a little afraid because drug addicts (he isn't a drug addicts 100%) start so but you don't know how can end him.
but i am hopeful because he has been taking marijuana during 1 year and until now he hasn't big problems with it and he doesn't take other drugs.

but in any case , I will keep and eye on him if the problem becomes greater

thanks to all for the replies.

kaurikid · Post by **kaurikid** » Tue, 04 Jul 2006 2:51 pm

Give Sam Kuna at Teen Challenge a call
He will be able to refer you to the appropiate agencies.

Kyon · Post by **Kyon** » Tue, 04 Jul 2006 7:29 pm

no man have da same handprint or the same brain.everyone react differently to something.or is this a checklist for you to make yourself feel better?(i betta use otha examples.i do not appreicate cnb visits or their way of working)example,some might quit smoking because of the high taxes that our"concern" government impose.some might quit smoking because of pressure now(yellow boxes?!remind me of da green days)some might quit smoking because of their health.but after so much things that have done,y are there still so many smokers?what is bad to you might not be as bad for me.
if a person really wants to quit,he/she does not need anything or anyone.if a person doesnt wants to,its pointless even if u threaten with death.
and lastly,you dont hafta be something to know something

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Have you any friend who take drugs??

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