Singapore Expats Forum

Forward Those Emails Here If You Are Superstitious.

Chats, Flames, Jokes, Junks. Don't know where to post ? You've just found the right place.
User avatar
madwolfie
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed, 23 Feb 2005
Location: Mad's Lair

Be on the LOOKOUT!

Postby madwolfie » Wed, 24 May 2006 2:51 pm

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest bar. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be
substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

User avatar
madwolfie
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed, 23 Feb 2005
Location: Mad's Lair

A Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails

Postby madwolfie » Wed, 24 May 2006 3:00 pm

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004.

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will SH** on your head today at 6:30pm.

User avatar
Mary Hatch Bailey
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1579
Joined: Thu, 06 Oct 2005
Location: Bedford Falls

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Wed, 24 May 2006 9:16 pm

Love it BG. Love Billy Connelly.

User avatar
Loops
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 239
Joined: Mon, 13 Sep 2004

Postby Loops » Fri, 26 May 2006 1:08 pm

Those chain e-mails are bizarre. I had a friend who e-mailed me, very upset about this bonsai kitten thing where someone reckoned you could keep a kitten in a jar ......! I looked on snopes and sure enough it was a hoax, as was the camel spider thing she sent me - did anyone else get that one? The spider in Iraq which climbs into the soldiers tents and eats their legs while they sleep? Made the film Arachnophobia look like a walk in the park :o

Good old Snopes, I'd be living in a bubble now if it wasn't for them!

User avatar
Baron Greenback
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 853
Joined: Mon, 20 Jun 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby Baron Greenback » Fri, 26 May 2006 1:15 pm

I read that the camel spiders were real! But the description given was not, please see :http://www.snopes.com/photos/bugs/camelspider.asp
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Hemingway

User avatar
madwolfie
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1526
Joined: Wed, 23 Feb 2005
Location: Mad's Lair

Inner Peace

Postby madwolfie » Fri, 26 May 2006 1:21 pm

"Inner Peace"
I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace.

It reads: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."

I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished.

So, today I have finished one bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of gin, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and a quart of beer.

You have no idea how good I feel. You may passh thish on to those ou feel
are in need of Inner Peach.

User avatar
BearHug
Regular
Regular
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon, 24 Apr 2006
Location: Singapore

Postby BearHug » Fri, 26 May 2006 3:28 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hilarious stuff u all got here. Some of it i didnt know it exist before being posted here.

Madwolfie.....im hving tummy cramps reading yr stuff. :P

BG...i agree with Mary. Billy Connelly emails is damn funny. love it too.

TheTimeIsAlwaysRightToDoWhatIsRight. Image


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Leisure Chat, Jokes, Rubbish”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests