BT, You may well be right. So far though I've not been even sorta tempted. You do have a valid point (about kicking the bucket) but I don't think that the desire is still there. As a matter of fact, it was the lack of desire that probably ultimately made me quit. Even now, I don't have the slightest desire to even take a drag off one. Passed thee years last month.
What is interesting is your resuming the habit after 21 years.....
My old man smoked short Camels from the age of 14 till he quit at 60. He's now 82 and has never looked back. Says the same thing I do. Not the slightest desire to pick up one. I would have thought he would have after this past year. Especially after having been diagnosed with colon cancer and lung cancer at the same time. He had the color cancer cut out (a third of his large intestine) and had problems on the recovery. He's had radiation therapy on the lung cancer but said the hell with the operation as is has shrunk in size and as he said, "I'm already 82 if I go through the crap of the operation how much time is that going to give me? I've already outlived all my siblings by 25 years and outlived my father by 5 so I'm living on borrowed time anyway". My point? He smoked for 46 years and now he knows that he is on borrowed time, why not pick 'em up again?
He quit like I did. Not to be PC, not for the wife or the kids, not because of the cost, taxes, not for anything other than the desire to quit. I had tried to "stop"previously, unsuccessfully, because all the other times were for other peoples reasons, not my own. I don't have to fight any internal demons in order to not pick up one. The thought doesn't even enter my mind.
Frankly, I think you are kidding yourself. You "stopped" smoking but you didn't quit. Stopping smoking is like pulling up to a traffic sign. You stop but in your mind you know you will eventually start again. Whereas when you quit it is final. Once you mind accepts that then you are home free. It's a shame you "stopped" all those years ago instead of quitting. That's what made you a grump! You did it for her and not for yourself.
....... truth be known, I'll bet you were probably a grump before you "stopped" smoking as well!