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All negativity will drive people away?

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All negativity will drive people away?

Postby serendipity » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 1:32 am

Am watching Pay It Forward at the moment and it struck me when Helen Hunt was saying to Kevin Spacey that the burn marks on his face don't matter as he looks good to her.

I was having a discussion with a long-time friend about her boyfriend, whom I know as well and am quite close with also actually, that now since he had recovered from his depression and is now happier and is more confident in what he's doing, that is why she is attracted to him now.

However, this is the same person whom we've known since 7 years ago and despite of his moment of weakness with the depression, to me he is the same friend whom I respect, now and then; who was being strong when I was in my darkness moment; who is considerate, loyal, intelligent.
I must admit I used to fancy him and I started fancying him long before he fell into depression and I think in a weird way I was glad he seemed to need me to be there for him and the feeling was not getting less, if not stronger...
Would that work only for people who would like to be "useful" to their loved ones?

Or as another friend just concluded recently that one should resolve any chips on his/her shoulders so there wouldn't be any negative vibe sent to the other person that can drive others away?

I guess the same analogy would apply to one's looks. Say one who doesn't exactly fit the recent standard for beauty, common example: being voluptuous, would turn off some people even though the personality of the same person might not.

Another friend who is getting married in summer this year told me that her future hubby told her that she has to lose weight before the wedding and then keep it cause chubbiness turns him off...
If it were me, I most likely would choose to be alone then...
I haven't met this friend nor talked to her for about 4 years, not cause we had a fight, but just we lost touch cause of distance.
Nevertheless, I didn't notice any difference except for the weight. She is still the same person now as when I first met her 6 years ago and for him to impose that on her makes me worry about her decision to marry him...

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Postby tiki » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 8:12 am

If depression, for example, is viewed as a negativity then...

let it drive most away.

For the ones who really care, will stay.
'If you feel alive
in a darkened room
Do you know the name
of your solitude..'

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