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Em Eye
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Home sick

Postby Em Eye » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 1:27 am

So I said goodbye to another friend tonight (so this is a drunken posting, sorry). Does it get any easier? What do you do to make it easier?

It seems everytime I go to a going away party someone always asked the "what's your best experience and worst experience in Singapore" question. I don't think of home all that often. I miss my friend the most. I moved states a lot so most of my best friendships were already conducted over msn or telephones like they are here. In my everyday life I really like livng in Singapapore. I run my own company (that has just taken off after 12 months) I have fantastic friends. I have a really good life.
But nights like this make me miss the friends and my lifestyle from home and it hits in a really big way. I came home in a taxi alone (after a breakup this year) and really felt reallyalone and homesick for the first time in a long time. So does this farewell thing get any easier? I guess not... I'm just feeling sorry for myself...

On another topic...

a married friend of mine said I should go home if I want to get married soon (not desperate to at the moment)...why is it that all married people want to marry off single people but then in the next breath hang off all our single dating stories? Grass is greener?

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Bubbles
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Postby Bubbles » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 2:43 am

Oh, Em Eye, sorry you're a bit down. Believe me, we all get homesickness, I did, very often, even with all the beauty etc that Singapore offers. Some days I just wanted to be, what's that phrase....'Where they all know my name'...or something like that. You know, back in the old, familiar places.

However, come tomorrow, or the day after, it fades away. My advice? Call up your friends....tell them you feel a little low, say, 'How about I come around, or we go for a drink?'

It passes, but on the other hand, I think it shows a side of you that shows a strength. Lots of people ignore their roots, or say, 'I'd hate to go back to such and such now'....I think, if you can still think of home with a little love, it proves you're not one of those types....and don't forget....home will always be there....and if it gets too, too much....well, flash the plastic, get a cheapy flight, and go back for a week or so. What the hell? Business can always run without you, for a short time....(they'd have to do it if you'd died, wouldn't they?).....and that's what cards are for...(I say) mind you, hubby has other ideas!!!!!!!!!!!! (but I mostly 'forget' I heard him say any of them.... :wink: )

Night night, cheer up, you'll get through it. And as for marrying...yes, there does seem to be a little conspiracy going on with the partnered...they like to see you as 'happy!!' as they are....

You do it where and when you want...or not at all. That's what I think.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas.

Em Eye
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Postby Em Eye » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 9:45 am

Thanks Bubbles! I re-read my post this morning (sober) and I did sound sorry for myself. Thanks for your advise, unfortunately I am my company and need to be here so no chance of a quick get away home even for few days. Oh well that's what the phone is for. Happy Easter and a big hug from Singapore.

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serendipity
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Postby serendipity » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 2:06 pm

I went to school abroad and worked there for a couple of years and over those years, I watched people come and go and well watching people leaving is the tough part when you're the one who stays.
I know it sounds selfish, but it feels as if you're left behind.

The hardest was saying goodbye to a close friend who decided to quit his study in the middle, at the airport with other friends who love him too.
We ended up crying when we said goodbye and after he disappeared behind the gate, we got together in a little cafe to talk about our memories of him.
In a way, it was silly cause nowadays with internet, communication has become so easy and affordable, but it's just not the same to have the person next to you ay.

I never like goodbyes I must admit, even now. It's never been easy so usually I just avoid the topic and refuse to see the other person off at the airport cause I'm afraid I would end up crying.
However, saying goodbye to my best friend last week ended up to be ok. I don't know maybe I became numb after saying goodbyes too often... I guess from that point of view, it's probably true, one would grow stronger in a way...
Or maybe the thought that with my interest to travel I know I would go across the seas to meet them again someday. I know I would definitely make the effort on her wedding day.

The best feeling is knowing that you're going to be friends even though you're not physically near anymore and that is the case I must admit with my best friend who came to visit last week.

At least, here are some virtual hugs for you Em. Interestingly the nickname for my best friend is the same :D

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Bubbles
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Postby Bubbles » Sun, 16 Apr 2006 8:16 pm

Hi Em Eye, glad you're feeling a bit chirpier today. Great day here in the UK, sunny Easter Sunday.

Happy Easter everyone.

Anyway, perhaps should not post this, as it is the poem which used to get me everytime I felt homesick, wherever I was. But it is a wonderful poem and I love Sir Walter Scott. It just says it all about going home, wherever in the world your home is.


Breathes There the Man... From the Lay of the Last Minstrel
by Sir Walter Scott

Canto Sixth



Breathes there the man, with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
"This is my own, my native land!"
Whose heart hath ne'er within him burned,
As home his footsteps he hath turned,
From wandering on a foreign strand!
If such there breathe, go, mark him well;
For him no Minstrel raptures swell;
High though his titles, proud his name,
Boundless his wealth as wish can claim;
Despite those titles, power, and pelf,
The wretch, concentred all in self,
Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
And, doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
Unwept, unhonoured, and unsung.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



Dylan Thomas.


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