clash of civilizations - the maid issue

[earthfriendly]

Sometimes also have to look at it from the SG aunty(paranoiaaaaaaaaaa !) point of view lah.

How you feel when day in day out bombarded by horror maid stories from other aunties or the news lah. Many aunties are gripped by fear of all the things that could go wrong if they give them time off and not be able to "watch over" them. I, myself, have heard my share of stories and it can be extremely frightening. And one case even invoves a very trusted maid that has worked for 10 years with the same family. You really never know.

This is no excuse though. One must be rational and learn to manage one's fear. Using one's fear as an excuse to not do the right thing also does not sound right to me. If so fearful, then don't bother to hire a maid at all. Why not just do everything yourself then.

Please, I am not trying to put down or stereotype the maids as an immoral lot lah. It is just the whole set up of this live-in maid. It is a very unnatural living arrangement. If I need a maid, I will avoid a live-in. The maid need to leave the house and go home each night to her family in order to enjoy a healthy lifestyle. But then again, most maids only do this for a short stint of time 2 years or a little more. So sometimes I also wonder how come they cannot tahan (put up) for the time being and stay away from trouble. The offenders are giving the maids a bad name leh.

And then from the employers point of view. Inviting a stranger into your houe to share the roof with you and having to face her all the time, or whenever you are home. My sister-in-law stayed with us for 2.5 months and some of her ways (which I deemed inappropriate) totally drove me up the wall. Both the maid and the employer need a break from each other in order to come back to the relationship with a refreshed mind. A song by Chicago comes to mind:

"Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, from each other.
Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other."

[earthfriendly]

Let's just say, Rudirussel, has more than one problem: A maid and a wife, both women.

Care to elaborate?

But then again, I think I may know what you mean, being a 100 % woman myself .

[sweet_longan]

re: wham's advice to dump the wife - i believe there was a promise given somewhere wasn't there - "for better or for worse"? - please note - there is a young child involved who will be devastated and heartbroken to see her parents break up.. We don't want to be putting an extra strain on a marriage that needs support. Stick together and work it out!

[Vaucluse]

re: wham's advice to dump the wife - i believe there was a promise given somewhere wasn't there - "for better or for worse"? - please note - there is a young child involved who will be devastated and heartbroken to see her parents break up.. We don't want to be putting an extra strain on a marriage that needs support. Stick together and work it out!

SL, I don't think Wham expects Rudi to dump his seemingly heartless wife on his suggestion . . .

[Matney]

Earthfriendly, I think we are on the same wave length...I too am 100 % female

[EADG]

re: wham's advice to dump the wife - i believe there was a promise given somewhere wasn't there - "for better or for worse"? - please note - there is a young child involved who will be devastated and heartbroken to see her parents break up.. We don't want to be putting an extra strain on a marriage that needs support. Stick together and work it out!

SL, I don't think Wham expects Rudi to dump his seemingly heartless wife on his suggestion . . .

though probably better as to not to spread that on to their children....

[earthfriendly]

.

Earthfriendly, I think we are on the same wave length...I too am 100 % female

I thought "Matney" is a man's name . Sorry.