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Is it normal to have thought of suicide?

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Ling2
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Is it normal to have thought of suicide?

Postby Ling2 » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 2:06 pm

Escapism. Deluded as I may be sometimes. I read an article recently about people who wish to end their lives.

Is it normal to have such thoughts? Have anyone ever had such a thought?

I will confess that such thought ever creeped upon me. I seriously believe it'a valid reason for wanting to sleep forever sometimes. You may deem it as an selfish act, but what if such act will bring upon greater awareness for the better? Is that even possible? Or will it be just another starry starry night?

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 2:17 pm

I recon it's normal. What's not normal, however is acting upon it. :o

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Postby Em Eye » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 2:24 pm

My brother committed suicide. I know he struggled with depression. We had a tough childhood and all three children came out the other end differently. I understand how he got to the point where he couldn't go on. I believe he is in a happier place with no pain. My mother strongly disagrees with me and thinks he was selfish. It is hard for the people left behind as they often wonder why? Why didn't they come to me for help (most depressed people don;t seek help). It's the what if factor.

Is it a waste of a life? Yes. I miss him everyday. He would have been 30 on Saturday and I wonder what he would have been doing and if he would have been happier if he held on. But it was his decision and I respect his decision and I'm glad that the pain finally ended for him.

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Postby tiki » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 2:26 pm

It's just vulnerability.

Not everyone may have entertain the thought of suicide but nonetheless, we have all thought of death at one point of time or the other.

Personally, there is no justification for suicide.

Because when we do actually act on those thoughts, we would have displayed the most selfish act there is.

I know it's easy to say now and you never know what is running through the person's head but we all need to remember that even in our darkest moment and solitary confusion..

there is someone out there who love us. Yes it might seem that we are living because we care about other's feelings. in a twisted way it's like living for others.

However, there are people out there who think about our feelings and in a way, they're living for us.

It's ok to sometime feel a little suicidal but it's not ok to act on them.

We're only human.
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Postby mayaray » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 2:36 pm

It's due to psychological, physiochemical/genetic makeup of an individual. I read an article once about a gene causing anxiety, indirectly I think it i responsible for depression. Some individuls have a tendency to get depressed and it's not all 'in the mind'.

It's like a personal hell, being trapped in a jail without walls/grilles.

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Postby CardZeus » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 4:39 pm

I think it's natural to contemplate suicide. It's like contemplating death itself.

Although it could be considered a selfish act I respect another person's right to take their own life.

In England at least, it's no longer a crime to commit or attempt to commit suicide, so why all the fuss about doing something that's legal?
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Postby Bubbles » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 4:54 pm

I'm so sorry Em Eye; what can I say but that?

My sister is clinically depressed and has been for five/six years and I live in fear that she will try to end things.

I have talked and talked to her, urged her to go back to the professionals, take her medicine; which she does, sometimes. But she want to think that she is 'normal' and can work it out for herself. But of course, she can't, she's gone down that road too far now not to have helping hands.

She lives a normal, ordinary life, but for her any problem, however tiny, is a crisis, unsurmountable.

If I listen to her speak ...closely listen....all the words are negative...'I can't, I don't think I can, I'm not, I won't be able to, I'm not good enough for that, I'll never be able to'......and in the end, even though I hate to admit this, I have to escape her, even if it's only for a day or two.

She brings a sort of black, damp blanket with her and stretches it over the world. God love her, I wish I could help, and it's not as if she has a hard life, all is well that way in her world, but why she ended up like this is anyone's guess. There are three of us, and she is the one with this blackness.

The saying 'The Black Dog On My Back' is so very true.
I just hope to God that one day she'll be able to walk away from it, but I think if they wish to end things, then they will. No amount of love will help them. Sorry.

On the other hand, course it's normal to be down, and to think...only think about ending things, but it's usually for spite, or perhaps love that is thought about....but it should only be fleeting and then you should shake yourself and think, 'Silly bugger, get up and get out and do something.'

But real depression is a different animal altogether.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas.

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Postby Em Eye » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 9:03 pm

Thanks Bubbles, I did cry when writting my post.

Sorry to hear about your sister. It's a tough situation to be in, how much do you help and how much do you stand back and let them live their life. Sometimes it's hard looking in on someones pain. In my belief if someone is talking about their pain that's a good sign it's when they suddenly stop talking about it or say that they feel ok that's when you should be more viligant.

Sending good thoughts to you...be strong.

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Postby Wham » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 9:13 pm

Ling - i think it's normal to think about it once in a blue moon - just part of human nature to contemplate existence - or lack of it.

Em eye - i wouldn't call suicide selfish. The brain works in mysterious ways that are impossible to completely understand - sad - but not selfish. Nevertheless, it must have been very hard on your Mom. My Mom lost a son at a young age to Kidney disease - and i know how hard that was - to have to endure suicide must be considerably worse. I hope that you have the strength to help / lend her.
"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." Samuel Johnson

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Postby Ling2 » Mon, 03 Apr 2006 10:48 pm

I am sorry, Eye & Bubbs. I, too experienced the same, though he is very much still alive because his attempt failed. The worst is, he tried the silly act, a few days after we broke up.

This is the guy, where I asked many for ideas to surprise him on his birthday. Whom I was to married... How could one be so strong yet turned out so vunerable?

I blamed myself nevertheless, and dark clouds been setting above me eversince... I can't seem to climb out of the darkness yet, except seeking laughter to ease the pain & guilt.

I don't know how to approach this issue clinically because he is way too dear to me and I can't be objective enough or not be emotional.

It takes lot for you guys to go thru what you had/been going thru... I wish I have as much strength...

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Postby Global Citizen » Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:29 am

Ling2 wrote:I am sorry, Eye & Bubbs. I, too experienced the same, though he is very much still alive because his attempt failed. The worst is, he tried the silly act, a few days after we broke up.

It takes lot for you guys to go thru what you had/been going thru... I wish I have as much strength...


At times like these, I wish there was a word other than sorry to convey the full depth of expression one wishes to put across to someone who has either endured a loss or is going through some deep pain and hurt. I feel for all of you. Hang in there all of you and Ling, I would never have guessed.

I read somewhere once, that the rate of suicide amongst men in Sweden is the highest in the world, (I'm unsure if the stats are still the same) and that worldwide more young men contemplate/attempt suicide than women. What does this say on the whole, I'm uncertain.

I know that deep pain and emotional hurt are contributing factors in the desire to end one's life and God knows, we've either been down that dark road ourselves or known of someone who has because it gets too much to bear. Clinical depression another factor that may be genetically inherent.

I don't know if I would consider it a selfish act right off the bat but maybe more an act of sheer desperation and vulnerability that brings people to seek extreme measures to end extreme pain.

I've been down that road of emotional pain and am just grateful that I had/ have the strength to rise above it because not everyone does.
Last edited by Global Citizen on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 2:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Bubbles » Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:36 am

So true, GC. It's the impotence you feel when faced with the person's blackness. From standing in one place as a 'normal' person, it's such a long road to the place where the depressed person is. You try to get through to them, but without professional training, it's hard not to get frustrated with them.
Of course we all know the 'pull yourself together' line is silly, as they would, if they could. But you tend to try so many other things, listening, trying to take them out and about, shock them, plead. None of this works. It's the professionals or medication which works, I think.
But mental illness (because that's what it is) has such a stigma and people just want to try to crawl out of their blackness without resorting to the docs. Shame, as this can really be cured.
My daughter's friend hung himself last year. He was 25. The awful thing was that his parents found him. My God, that would scar for life. Poor, poor them, poor him who could see no other way out.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



Dylan Thomas.

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Postby madwolfie » Tue, 04 Apr 2006 6:41 am

I had definitely "toyed" with the idea many years before. :lol: Madwolfie had been pretty mad as you might have guessed...

When depression sets in, there is no colour in your world. The world around you moves but you don't hear them...

When you travel in a bus/plane/train, you'd wish for an accident to end your life. When you walk along the streets, you'd wish some cars get out of control and knock you down dead. Every activity you are engaged in, you think of how you wished you may get killed...

The only closest deal I had experienced close enough was to have my stomach "pumped" - and the reason of my depression? Unknown... pretty much like Bubble's sister. *shrugs*

The only thing I know is, when you are depressed and sick, don't go to a doctor and tell him you feel suicidal. You will get referred to the Institue of Mental Health. :P

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Postby Global Citizen » Wed, 05 Apr 2006 8:32 am

madwolfie wrote:I had definitely "toyed" with the idea many years before. :lol: Madwolfie had been pretty mad as you might have guessed...

When depression sets in, there is no colour in your world. The world around you moves but you don't hear them...

When you travel in a bus/plane/train, you'd wish for an accident to end your life. When you walk along the streets, you'd wish some cars get out of control and knock you down dead. Every activity you are engaged in, you think of how you wished you may get killed...

The only closest deal I had experienced close enough was to have my stomach "pumped" - and the reason of my depression? Unknown... pretty much like Bubble's sister. *shrugs*

The only thing I know is, when you are depressed and sick, don't go to a doctor and tell him you feel suicidal. You will get referred to the Institue of Mental Health :P


Wolfie honey, if you ever feel the need to talk, pm me.

Sending good vibes and positive energy all the way in cyber space to you.
One man's meat is another's poison.

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Postby Vaucluse » Wed, 05 Apr 2006 8:36 am

I must say that I am surprised at how many of us have been affected by this, I had no idea it was so prevalent.

Is it normal to think of suicide? Is it normal to stand at the window of my living room on the 14th floor, looking down at the pool and thinking of jumping out?
Every day?
Not in a morose way at all, just wondering what it wouldbe like?

I hope it's normal.

As SMS said, there is a line between thinking about it and acting on it.
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