The Lord's name in vain

[Vaucluse]

A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks" Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?"
"Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies.
"Here's the dilemma, I purchased, for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it.

I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me.

Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?"
"I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie..."
"You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you," and with that she hands him the hair remover.
After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's turn in line.
"Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Custom's officer.
"From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son."
Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask, "And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?"
The father replies, "I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used..."
Roaring with laughter the Custom's officer says, "Go right through father.
Next!"

[Plavt]

[riversandlakes]

[hiccup]

Hoho...I nearly get choked while sipping drink.

We want more of these jokes! More humour one man!

[may4]

[Frenzy]

Reminds me of an early sketch by Rowan Atkinson's (before his Black Adder and Mr Bean stuff).

Rowan was playing a vicar and explaining his views on oral sex. He tells us (while dipping a wafer into a goblet of wine and gleefully eating it) that he was once asked by a young lady about to get married, on what his views were on oral sex.

He says something along the lines of "Hmmm, well I don't actually know what oral sex is". The young lady then prompty offered to show him and he obliged.

So he tells us that whenever he's asked his views on oral sex (by young ladies about to get married of course), he says ... "Hmmm, well I don't actually know what oral sex is."

It's all in the timing though, I guess you have to see it.

Has anyone seen his 'Fatal Beatings' sketch?

http://www.rowanatkinson.org/fatalbeatings.htm