Gifting - it's the thought that counts....right??

[asiandivergal]

The art of gifting - is a very fine art. You learn with age. Or should I say you realize after some time.

When a friend of mine Liza from the Bright Lights Big City (KL) came back to her kampung for the kenduri (wedding feast/celebrations), a curious me wanted to know the kind of gifts exchanged hands in the kampung these days (it is not a traditional custom in these parts for weddings). I asked L if I could be present during the gift-opening ceremony. She reluctantly agreed. Perhaps, because she owed me RM50. It was a big affair. Her grandma, who cannot walk was also wheeled in from the next room.

While L’s mother wanted the biggest gift to be opened first, L said she wanted to go from the smallest to the biggest. The issue was finally settled. She picked up the smallest gift...it had come from a common friend of ours. The guy had gifted four tea cups with saucers. “Bastard!,”

[sundaymorningstaple]

Don't know if it's a curtural thing or not. This recycling of gifts. It may well be done worldwide, It just that I was never aware of it until I came to Singapore those many years ago. I notice that the practice is very, very prevalent in Singapore. I guess it's that "pragmatic" thing.

Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to do it. Even though, as you pointed out, after 5 or 6 gifts (18!) of the same thing what to do! For me, I can't belittle myself by giving my leftovers or surplus to someone else as a 'gift'. I'd rather donate it to charity. To me it seems more like recycling. I would hate to be known as a person who only gives 'gifts' that are my castoffs. That would be the ultimate loss of face (even for a 'faceless' Yank like myself).

I was brought up to believe it was the thought that counts, not the cost. If I don't think any more of the person, than to just give my leftovers, I'd rather not give anything at all. But, like I said, it's only my opinion. Maybe some of our local posters can give you a more local (or accepted practice) approach.

sms

[asiandivergal]

ok first thing off, the original post was meant to be "sarcastic"...especially since Christmas is coming, and gifting is a very important component in the Christmas celebrations (to most people at least). What I question is the way most people practise gifting these days.

Whether it's a recycled gift or not...is actually not important to me - I actually prefer to spend time with my loved ones and close friends, over a home-cooked meal. I rarely have time for friends and family what with my frenetic travelling, and when my German friend whom I have not met for over 6 months, presented me with a pot of curry chicken as a birthday gift, I was moved to tears.

I mean...a German cooking Curry Chicken?? That had to be the best gift I ever received. I would have jumped his bones if he was not gay

So yes, it's the thought behind the gift that matters most. Love and care can only be the best gift anyone of us can receive.

Oh and the towel to L - in my best defence - I hated him and I caught him smacking Jetti once - it's only fair I presented him with a souvenir compliments from Jetti too not very christian like of me, i know, and I did make him his favourite potato pancakes the next day