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France Surrenders. (Just for fun Mr V honest).

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France Surrenders. (Just for fun Mr V honest).

Post by Plavt » Fri, 16 Dec 2005 6:23 am

Why don't they have fireworks shows at Euro Disney? Because the French kept surrendering.

How does a French soldier salute. Buy putting his hands up and saying "Please don't kill me"

How do you confuse a French soldier? Give him a rifle, and tell him to shoot it.

The motto of the French Army should be familiar to American schoolchildren trained in fire prevention- yes you see, because it's Stop, Drop, and Run.

Why do the French never perform "the wave" at football (soccer) matches? Because that move is saved for wartime.

Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

I've got a computer tip for you , if you install the French versions of your favorite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER

Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.

How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.

Why does the French Navy suck? Because cardboard doesn't float!

American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Frenchman: "No." American: "You're Welcome!"

The French Army's New Theme Song: "Be Our Guest!! Be Our Guest!!!"

How many jokes are there about the French? One, the rest are true

"During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops." "The Germans then lit them and threw them back."

Q. What is the first thing the French teach their kids in school? A. How to say "We Surrender" in German!

In recent news, the shortest book ever has been written by a Frenchman. It's called -"War's We've Won".

I love this one- Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordion.

"A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. It's never been fired but I heard it's been dropped once." Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo

A man asks his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"

When there's a vote in the U.N., the French Ambassador is the only one to raise BOTH hands.

Q: Why do Frenchmen always wear yellow ties? A: To match their teeth.

Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A: The Army.

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in France? A: Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman

The Tour de France is so popular with the French because it's the one sport where you don't need balls.

French President Jacques Chirac: "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." This is a real quote.

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."- Rush Limbaugh

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes". Mark Twain

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it". Marge Simpson

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people". Conan O'Brien

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried." Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo

"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." —Dennis Miller

"As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi situation. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." —Jay Leno

"President Bush and National Security Guard Tom Ridge launched the new Department of Homeland Security, just 24 hours after taking us down to threat level French — I'm sorry, I mean threat level yellow." —Craig Kilborn

"According to the Pentagon today, secret surrender negotiations are now underway with key Iraqi military officials. That's what the Pentagon said: We're in secret negotiations, so for God sakes, don't tell anyone. ... What we're doing basically is giving these key Iraqi military officials instructions on how to surrender. See, this is where we could have used the French." —Jay Leno

"Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures — just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done." —Jay Leno

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."- General George S. Patton

"A Frenchman's home is where another man's wife is. There is nothing lower than the human race except the French."- Mark Twain, 1878-1879 Journal Entry

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Post by Vaucluse » Fri, 16 Dec 2005 8:55 am


'nuff said Image

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Post by Bafana » Mon, 19 Dec 2005 2:40 pm

Gotta love it lah :cool:
Be Like Water

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