Why do married men/women stray after marriage?

Mary Hatch Bailey · Post by **Mary Hatch Bailey** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:50 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:How about simply because sex is real hot with a new person? After 20 years with the same person sex is... well... rather "regular".

Yes, if 'hot sex' is what is lacking...

Bafana · Post by **Bafana** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:59 pm

k1w1 wrote:Women cheat too.

Amen brother - They are the biggest cheats around.

Its only becuase men arnt good liers and cant go into denial that we have a bad reputation for being found out lah...

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 8:34 pm

Bafana wrote:
k1w1 wrote:Women cheat too.
Amen brother - They are the biggest cheats around.

Its only becuase men arnt good liers and cant go into denial that we have a bad reputation for being found out lah...

i wouldn't want to cheat my man.

thats the last thing ever i would want to do.

Bafana · Post by **Bafana** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 8:53 pm

emiko08 wrote: i wouldn't want to cheat my man. thats the last thing ever i would want to do.

Thats great to know.

At least there are some ladies left in this world.

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 8:59 pm

ha ha. thank you.

ハハハハ～　ありがとう。

Plavt · Post by **Plavt** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:29 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Plavt,

Uma Thurman was cheated on. Jennifer Aniston. Princess Diana, Liz Hurley, etc... It is not looks that make men stray. Something in the primary relationship is lacking.

Usually the person they cheat with represents something they think they are missing, or tells them what they need to hear.

I don't believe looks play a significant role at all.

I wasn't talking about cheating Mary I was merely responding to emiko8's question 'are people getting married just for the sake of it']. Cheating as you know comes later in a relationship and initially if not looks, imagery is a factor.

Plavt.

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:32 pm

so now we know. man/woman stray because something is lacking in the relationship. but why can't they work something out?

maybe they can turn to a marriage counsellor instead of turning to the 3rd party.

Plavt · Post by **Plavt** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:35 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Strong Eagle wrote:How about simply because sex is real hot with a new person? After 20 years with the same person sex is... well... rather "regular".
Yes, if 'hot sex' is what is lacking...

This is quite likely, one theory - disagree if you must- is that one reason why married men are likely to visit prostitutes or other women for sexual favors is that they will perform sex acts their wives won't Perhaps I had better not ask anybody here what their fantasy might be.

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:37 pm

Plavt wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Strong Eagle wrote:How about simply because sex is real hot with a new person? After 20 years with the same person sex is... well... rather "regular".
Yes, if 'hot sex' is what is lacking...
This is quite likely, one theory - disagree if you must- is that one reason why married men are likely to visit prostitutes or other women for sexual favors is that they will perform sex acts their wives won't Perhaps I had better not ask anybody here what their fantasy might be.

you mean role-playing? dressing in NURSE??

Plavt · Post by **Plavt** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:43 pm

emiko08 wrote:
Plavt wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote: Yes, if 'hot sex' is what is lacking...
This is quite likely, one theory - disagree if you must- is that one reason why married men are likely to visit prostitutes or other women for sexual favors is that they will perform sex acts their wives won't Perhaps I had better not ask anybody here what their fantasy might be.
you mean role-playing? dressing in NURSE??

That and many other 'unworldy' things - the mind boggles.

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:44 pm

Bubbles · Post by **Bubbles** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:46 pm

It's more to do with the fact that men think an act of sex is no big deal, it's just sex, right? Whereas a woman invests more into it, well, that's the general spiel they put out nowadays.

If a man and a woman had extramarital sex the man would be the first to pass it off as not of much importance, learn from it and get on with his life, and the woman would be beating herself up about it, thinking she was a terrible person years later.

emiko08 · Post by **emiko08** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:48 pm

Bubbles wrote:It's more to do with the fact that men think an act of sex is no big deal, it's just sex, right? Whereas a woman invests more into it, well, that's the general spiel they put out nowadays.

If a man and a woman had extramarital sex the man would be the first to pass it off as not of much importance, learn from it and get on with his life, and the woman would be beating herself up about it, thinking she was a terrible person years later.

i TOTALLY agree with you.

but i feel in cases like these, women are always at the losing end.

Plavt · Post by **Plavt** » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 9:49 pm

Bubbles wrote:If a man and a woman had extramarital sex the man would be the first to pass it off as not of much importance, learn from it and get on with his life, and the woman would be beating herself up about it, thinking she was a terrible person years later.

Not sure I agree Bubbles, remembering a number of places I have worked over the years I have seen a number of both men and women who for whatever the reason spent more than just a few hours in the pub with each other and not infrequently I might add.

Plavt.

Bubbles · Post by **Bubbles** » Tue, 13 Dec 2005 12:08 am

Yes Plavt, I suppose I have to agree with you. What I was trying to say was that....overall...men attach less importance to a quick how's your father than a woman does.

Women would perhaps try to justify their straying by putting the encounter into the 'I mean something to him' category. And men would perhaps, even if they were fond of the woman think, 'That was nice, what's next' category.

Women tend to prolong the situation by keeping in touch or trying to meet again or adding something to it in terms of 'caring' which the guy most probably didn't even think of.

That's why....and I read this somewhere but can't remember where, sorry......that if there is an affair going on that it is the woman, in the vast majority of cases, who will turn bad egg and tell the man's wife what is going on, because they believe there is 'something more to it' than just the sex.....

You know what they say...marry the mistress, create a vacancy.....

Please don't think I'm making sweeping generalizations here, I know this is not the case in every affair, but generally I have found, by listening to girlfriends, that when affairs end it is the woman who is left sobbing whilst the man, even if upset, will soon move on and just do it again.....IF HE IS THAT WAY INCLINDED IN THE FIRST PLACE OF COURSE.

And no, not all men cheat, nor all women, but you're right....it seems to be a disease nowadays. They say the vast majority of flings are between people in the workplace, so I say.......don't go to work, or put blinkers on.....hahaha.

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Why do married men/women stray after marriage?

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