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Why do married men/women stray after marriage?

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emiko08
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Why do married men/women stray after marriage?

Postby emiko08 » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:07 pm

recently, there is this married man who is old enough to be my father asked me to be his girlfriend! i was really disgusted by his action as he is married, with 2 kids. not only me, my friends (all Japanese) also experience the same thing. who wants to be a third party anyway?

have these men forgotten the promise they gave infront of the Pastor and witness? to love the wife and be with her forever? was it a moment of folly or..?

i feel sorry for his wife. i do not think i want to get married anymore.
Last edited by emiko08 on Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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k1w1
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Postby k1w1 » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:08 pm

Women cheat too.

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emiko08
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Postby emiko08 » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:12 pm

are people getting married just for the sake of it? :cry:

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Postby madwolfie » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:18 pm

Maybe? Perhaps? I don't know... :???:

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Mary Hatch Bailey
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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:28 pm

The reason either partner strays from a marriage is that some need is not being fulfilled. Rather than do the work necessary to communicate this to their partner, they take the 'easier' road and go outside the marriage to solve their problems. This never works: it not only compounds the problem, but also runs the risk of euthanising a dying relationship.

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emiko08
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Postby emiko08 » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:33 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:The reason either partner strays from a marriage is that some need is not being fulfilled. Rather than do the work necessary to communicate this to their partner, they take the 'easier' road and go outside the marriage to solve their problems. This never works: it not only compounds the problem, but also runs the risk of euthanising a dying relationship.


i totally agree with you. :wink:

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madwolfie
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Postby madwolfie » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 3:38 pm

k1w1 wrote:Women cheat too.


I totally raise my hands up to this as well...

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Vaucluse
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Postby Vaucluse » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 4:22 pm

Do they? Your question implies that all do . . .
Last edited by Vaucluse on Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
......................................................

'nuff said Image

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Bubbles
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Postby Bubbles » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:02 pm

Yep, the affair....'The Quick Fix'....only it never is....

Trailing behind all the participants in an affair is an invisible train of added extras....such as....

Deceit
Hiding
Lies
Condemnation if found out
Worry
Despair if they go back to their husbands/wives
etc etc etc and more etc.....

With that little lot on your tail how can any such relationship be enjoyable?....

Oh, I'll tell you how.....it's the sex.....so, if you're into that only, and nothing more of what a real relationship should be...i.e..meeting his friends, family, being a whole part of his life....yes, go ahead....

But the reason most cheat is what MHB says,...'Something's missing and they take the easy way out instead of facing the problems head on.'
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas.

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Postby Plavt » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:06 pm

emiko08 wrote:are people getting married just for the sake of it? :cry:


I think one of the problems is initially men are sexually excited that is they like women with that 'ideal' body whatever it may be in a particular individuals mind. We all know the 'normal attractive' which for many western men is that big breasted blond while for others it is petite Orientals.
What I am saying to quote the words of Desmond Morris in his book 'Manwatching' is men make their choices on their partner’s beauty rating while women are more interested in men's psyche. The evidence for this has been shown in laboratory experiments where men and women have been given tasks to do. This has shown that women relate their lives more than men. This has further been shown when publishers have tried producing pornographic magazines featuring men the target audience of course being women resulting in a colossal flop.
Of course women make mistakes too. Often in the initial stages of a relationship they are taken in by things such as how lively or successful a man may seem in what he owns, how much money he has, what he does for a living to name a few. These things are often imagery and when the lady learns the truth later on in the relationship things turn sour as many reading this will already know. There is much more that can be said here but I will leave readers to do some reading or research.


Plavt.

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Postby CardZeus » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:10 pm

Could it be in our genes? It is genetically favourable to spread your genes. Also I'm not sure humans are inherently monogamous
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Postby sapphire » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:13 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:The reason either partner strays from a marriage is that some need is not being fulfilled. Rather than do the work necessary to communicate this to their partner, they take the 'easier' road and go outside the marriage to solve their problems. This never works: it not only compounds the problem, but also runs the risk of euthanising a dying relationship.

And, when faced with problems, that's when ones character is put to test. Anyway, pleasure is momentary, happiness lasts longer.

These days it seems, honesty in a relationship is fast becoming passé.
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

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Mary Hatch Bailey
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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:13 pm

Plavt,

Uma Thurman was cheated on. Jennifer Aniston. Princess Diana, Liz Hurley, etc... It is not looks that make men stray. Something in the primary relationship is lacking.

Usually the person they cheat with represents something they think they are missing, or tells them what they need to hear.

I don't believe looks play a significant role at all.

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Strong Eagle
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Postby Strong Eagle » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:17 pm

How about simply because sex is real hot with a new person? After 20 years with the same person sex is... well... rather "regular".

It's the basis for the joke: Did you know there is a new tittie magazine for married men? It has the same centerfold every month.

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sapphire
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Postby sapphire » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 5:19 pm

20 years! That figure scares me, haha. I'm still a while away from that, but not too far.
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.


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