Take all American women who are within five years of menopau

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Plavt
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Take all American women who are within five years of menopau

Post by Plavt » Sat, 10 Dec 2005 12:11 am

. . train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.

We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!

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seraphim
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Post by seraphim » Sat, 10 Dec 2005 12:21 am

LOL!

I quite like this one... :lol:
And the sultans - yeah the sultans
they play creole...Creole, baby

newhere
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Post by newhere » Sat, 10 Dec 2005 11:13 pm

You need some professional help is what you need. Take your American gung-ho BS and stick it.

Your fat, cellulite rich ass would not last a day without a Big Mac in one hand and an SUV under your ass. It would be quite a sight to see you in a parachute, you can just use one of your skirts.

Your "anger quotient" is high, because your old and you realize that you have not accomplished anything except to drive your man away, which is precisely why you can never find him. You are 1 of two things...with a man who can't stand you or you have no man.

Survive with no food??? You can't walk from your front door to your gas guzzling SUV without a Big Gulp and Whopper.

You wouldn't die to protect anything but the McDonald's dollar menu and probably cosidered taking up arms when they stoped Supersizing your fries.

HAHA, your post was so funny. HAHA, look at you kill the god-forsaken turbaned man. HAHA....you kill them, let God sort them out.....IDIOT!!!

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micknlea
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Post by micknlea » Sat, 10 Dec 2005 11:48 pm

err...hello newhere...get a life...did you actually read what subject you are in? This is the joke section wow, someone is a little tense here... :???:
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Plavt
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Post by Plavt » Sun, 11 Dec 2005 3:59 am

newhere wrote:You need some professional help is what you need. Take your American gung-ho BS and stick it.

Your fat, cellulite rich ass would not last a day without a Big Mac in one hand and an SUV under your ass. It would be quite a sight to see you in a parachute, you can just use one of your skirts.

Your "anger quotient" is high, because your old and you realize that you have not accomplished anything except to drive your man away, which is precisely why you can never find him. You are 1 of two things...with a man who can't stand you or you have no man.

Survive with no food??? You can't walk from your front door to your gas guzzling SUV without a Big Gulp and Whopper.

You wouldn't die to protect anything but the McDonald's dollar menu and probably cosidered taking up arms when they stoped Supersizing your fries.

HAHA, your post was so funny. HAHA, look at you kill the god-forsaken turbaned man. HAHA....you kill them, let God sort them out.....IDIOT!!!
A little sore aren't we? By the way I am a man and a UK national (never been to America) and this was a joke, haven't you ever heard the word humour?

Plavt.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 11 Dec 2005 11:36 am

Plavt wrote:
A little sore aren't we? By the way I am a man and a UK national (never been to America) and this was a joke, haven't you ever heard the word humour?

Plavt.
Actually, he should get off of daddy's computer before he gets caught. I wouldn't even think about sense of humour - just sense would be enough.

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Post by CardZeus » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 10:34 am

You need some professional help is what you need. Take your American gung-ho BS and stick it.

Your fat, cellulite rich ass would not last a day without a Big Mac in one hand and an SUV under your ass. It would be quite a sight to see you in a parachute, you can just use one of your skirts.

Your "anger quotient" is high, because your old and you realize that you have not accomplished anything except to drive your man away, which is precisely why you can never find him. You are 1 of two things...with a man who can't stand you or you have no man.

Survive with no food??? You can't walk from your front door to your gas guzzling SUV without a Big Gulp and Whopper.

You wouldn't die to protect anything but the McDonald's dollar menu and probably cosidered taking up arms when they stoped Supersizing your fries.
I actually tjought this was a pretty funny reponse until the last line
HAHA, your post was so funny. HAHA, look at you kill the god-forsaken turbaned man. HAHA....you kill them, let God sort them out.....IDIOT!!!
made me think, this guy isn't trying to be funny...
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Post by Vaucluse » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 10:54 am

I guess you'd question his intelligence, going off on Americans like that, when Plavt is clearly a Brit.
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Post by Mary Hatch Bailey » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 10:58 am

Vaucluse, I believe you are applying a level of consciousness to newhere/nowhere which simply does not exist. There is no 'there' there.

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Post by Vaucluse » Mon, 12 Dec 2005 11:01 am

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Vaucluse, I believe you are applying a level of consciousness to newhere/nowhere which simply does not exist. There is no 'there' there.


Ah, there's that, of course.
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