Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious
If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise.
The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are out retrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.
Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great. "Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
All men would still really like to own a train set
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