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International Terror Alert Status

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International Terror Alert Status

Postby English Cup of Tea » Thu, 01 Dec 2005 6:44 pm

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's principal white flag manufacturing facility, effectively paralysing their military.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The Italians have increased their alert level from "Shouting Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state, from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from "Isolationist" to "Find Somewhere Else in the Middle East Ripe for Regime Change." Their remaining, higher alert states are "Take on the World" and "Ask the British and Australians for Help."

Finally, here in GB, we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening" to "Make Another Cup of Tea." Our higher levels are "Remain Resolutely Cheerful" and "Win." In parliament today, the British attitude level was raised from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, it may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been at "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was issued was during the Great Fire, in 1666.

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Postby seraphim » Thu, 01 Dec 2005 6:45 pm

argh! Someone beat me to posting this!

but a good laugh nonetheless..... :D
And the sultans - yeah the sultans
they play creole...Creole, baby

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Postby English Cup of Tea » Thu, 01 Dec 2005 6:48 pm

Sorry Seraphim, you'll just have to be quicker next time..... :P
Imagine, if you will, a world without hypothetical situations.

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Postby seraphim » Thu, 01 Dec 2005 6:57 pm

Drat! Now I have to keep an eagle-eye on my inbox. :o

Looks like we're on the same mailing list!
And the sultans - yeah the sultans

they play creole...Creole, baby

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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 10:11 am

Ahh the French : Cheese eating surrender monkeys
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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 10:55 am

CardZeus - are you trying really hard to be a total f@ckwit or does is it come natural?

These dad's Army jokes are so old and out of place in a community like this - there's no need to go out of your way to offend or bait someone just for the heck of it. (There's only one real Frenchman here, so I guess it is your intention of offending him, which makes you a loser as well)

Ah, I think you're a born f@ckwit, must be natural, you're so good at it.

Sayonara, @rsehole.
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Postby Bafana » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:15 pm

CardZeus wrote:Ahh the French : Cheese eating surrender monkeys


Very funny lah - Like the french refering to dutch as cheese eaters and the dutch to them as wooloons lah. This whole thread is about tongue in check racism so appropriate post lor.

Big V are you French by any chance???

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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:28 pm

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's principal white flag manufacturing facility, effectively paralysing their military.


Ahh the French : Cheese eating surrender monkeys


What's the difference Vaucluse?? JHC man get a sense of humour - learn to laugh at yourself, then maybe you'll enjoy life a bit more :D



CardZeus - are you trying really hard to be a total f@ckwit or does is it come natural?


A natural gift from my French heritage


Very funny lah - Like the french refering to dutch as cheese eaters and the dutch to them as wooloons lah.


Thanks bafana
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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:37 pm

teehee
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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:43 pm

Bafana wrote:
CardZeus wrote:Ahh the French : Cheese eating surrender monkeys


Very funny lah - Like the french refering to dutch as cheese eaters and the dutch to them as wooloons lah. This whole thread is about tongue in check racism so appropriate post lor.

Big V are you French by any chance???



Partly, but that's not the point, mate. I just think it's obvious baiting and inappropriate - fairly typical of the footbal-thug inteligence level that reads the Sun.

Anyway, enjoy the banter . . . Heavens to Murgatroid . . . Exit, stage left!
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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:48 pm

I'm not trying to bait anyone - just trying to have a laugh;and I am not a hooligan and I don't read The Sun - noone from Liverpool does (except Everton fans).
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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:52 pm

fairly typical of the footbal-thug inteligence level that reads the Sun.


FYI: I have a PhD in physics and am a research scientist

football has 2 l's and intelligence has 2 l's and if you are referring to the newspaper then you should capitalize the t "The Sun"
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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 2:59 pm

CardZeus wrote:
fairly typical of the footbal-thug inteligence level that reads the Sun.


FYI: I have a PhD in physics and am a research scientist

football has 2 l's and intelligence has 2 l's and if you are referring to the newspaper then you should capitalize the t "The Sun"


And I am good at typos - ask around.

PhD and research scientist - sure. You forgot to mention that your first name is Albert and you still live with your parents.

Later, dude! Have fun talking to yourself.
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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 3:19 pm

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Last edited by CardZeus on Fri, 02 Dec 2005 4:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.

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Postby CardZeus » Fri, 02 Dec 2005 3:23 pm

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Last edited by CardZeus on Fri, 02 Dec 2005 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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