At my present point in life after having gone through the grinder before with an ex-wife who was as highly educated as myself I would probably opt for the marrying down option.
Meaning that I would rather have a wife who was not as competive for attention on that level as I am. That is not to say that I would not pay attention to a future wife - Quite the opposite. I would devote more time and effort to providing for her and looking after her to make sure that she is happy and has everything she wants most of the time. This type of stress and care is different from your workload type. And as they say a change is as good as a holiday.
What I found previously is that the added stress of having a wife who was also a professional made my life harder rather then easier. We were always in competition - Who had the better job, who had the better education, who earnt the most, who got the best deal, who was better at their job, who wore the pants in the house...
These things added to an already stress ladened life in a competive professional industry was just too much. Imagine coming home after competing all day and breaking your balls only to go through the same thing all over again as both parties tried to let off steam and relax. Sure she needed the same relaxation and attention on that level that I needed but the point was that if one was to give the other took. There was never a common ground. And after all our own responsibility as an indivdual person is to look after ourselves as no-one else will or can.
Yes and congratulations to all the people out there who have managed to make it work in a simliar situation or have given over to their partners to let the process go smoothly - You are truly wonderful and blessed in your life. (Either that or your just talking out your Politically Correct hat and are living a miserable life lying to yourslef or are sittign in an arm chair surrounds by hundreds of cats wondering what went wrong with your life)
I believe that if love can be achieved and a balance struck between both parties that is acceptable to both then a some level marraige can work. But this is very rare especially when you look at people who work in industries where they are compelled to believe and insist that they are experts in their work, knowledge and lives (Consulting for instance).
Sure enough I would consider a highly educated woman as the next Mrs Bafana but it would only be after making siure she is not selfish/bossish and can realise that the base nature of a man should be respected.
Men are givers and women are takers. Its the way of life always has been and always will be. So if you are as rich or richer then your man at elast let him think that he is giving you soemthing that is vital too you otherwise he will give it to someone else who may be more appreciative (The maid perhaps or the cleaning lady - Actually there are some very nice Tiger Beer ladies running around the local coffee shops as well)
But I agree with you. It's stressful enough to have to compete at work. Having to do so at home too, and not receiving any support, just worsens it all.
