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Do men want to settle for a dumber girl?

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:02 am

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Postby sapphire » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:03 am

This thread and certain posts make me feel that I'm not so cynical after all! Sheesh, so much analysing, what happened to good ole 'follow your heart' theme when it comes to finding a partner?
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

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Postby dot dot dot » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:18 am

I am with my Nike tennis shoes on this: Just do it! :P

Eric

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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 11:32 am

Wham wrote: I know i should end up in hot furnace for saying this, but while my Dad has a PhD and graduated Phi Betta Kappa, my Mom was never really all that sharp... But she WAS a wonderful Mom when i was growing up - and she still is a wonderful Mom and Grandmother.



Strange that Wham would come up with the same linear thinking . . . My father was also highly educated (but not in a Greek University like Wham's father: Phi Betta Kappa), but my mother was not - just finished high school, actually, and worked in an electronics shop when they met.

Did either of them see it as a marriage up or down? Hardly. Did they manage to make it through decades of moving, raising children, moving again and again - the stress of living in 'uncivilised' countries in the 60's and 70's? Absolutely! And who was the backbone of this family? Two guesses (Saint gets three because he 'anagrammed' me Value Suc :wink: )

And yes, I can't think of a better mum than mine (Wham would disagree, of course :) ) - degree or not.
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 12:06 pm

sapphire wrote:This thread and certain posts make me feel that I'm not so cynical after all! Sheesh, so much analysing, what happened to good ole 'follow your heart' theme when it comes to finding a partner?


Sapph.....we're in Singapore, only money "theme" is used here. But I'm in agreement with you. I just listen to my heart, think my wife did as well, that's why we're so poor that we "don't have a pot to p1ss in, nor a window to throw it out" But, after 23 years we still got each other for better or worse (and have had our share of both!) :cool:

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Postby sapphire » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 12:09 pm

SMS, I think, maybe money is the theme here because to enjoy anything here you need money, even to just sit on a man made beach! I do hate generalising, I'm sure there are many Singaporeans who are different. Your wife being one of them. :D
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 12:15 pm

sapphire wrote:SMS, I think, maybe money is the theme here because to enjoy anything here you need money, even to just sit on a man made beach! I do hate generalising, I'm sure there are many Singaporeans who are different. Your wife being one of them. :D


Yup, you're right, there are anomolies in every country. :wink:

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Postby sapphire » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 1:48 pm

locallass wrote:Oh no, this again. Somehow this topic crops up again and again and again. I'm sick of it. Who cares- let people date/marry who they want to. If a guy wants a dumb girl, he isn't the sort I would consider dating anyway.

He would also have to be dumber than the girl to want to marry her, no? :lol:

Agree with you locallass, this topic has been done to death. We are all different, have different likes and dislikes. And, cannot sit in judgement on the choice of others. Only I'm allowed to do that, be bitchy that is. So far, have resisted that urge as well. :twisted:

SMS, isn't it best to try and look at the brighter side of life? :P
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 4:25 pm

Vaucluse wrote:
Wham wrote: I know i should end up in hot furnace for saying this, but while my Dad has a PhD and graduated Phi Betta Kappa, my Mom was never really all that sharp... But she WAS a wonderful Mom when i was growing up - and she still is a wonderful Mom and Grandmother.



Strange that Wham would come up with the same linear thinking . . . My father was also highly educated (but not in a Greek University like Wham's father: Phi Betta Kappa), but my mother was not - just finished high school, actually, and worked in an electronics shop when they met.

Did either of them see it as a marriage up or down? Hardly. Did they manage to make it through decades of moving, raising children, moving again and again - the stress of living in 'uncivilised' countries in the 60's and 70's? Absolutely! And who was the backbone of this family? Two guesses (Saint gets three because he 'anagrammed' me Value Suc :wink: )

And yes, I can't think of a better mum than mine (Wham would disagree, of course :) ) - degree or not.


Have you ever heard of the book 'One True Thing'? Is it Anna Quindlen? It was also a decent film with Renes Zellweger, Meryl Streep and William Hurt.

The above conversation was the exact subject matter. Her Dad was the Brilliant PhD. Her mother, the stay at home Mom who she always marginalized. As an adult, and with a life altering experience along the way, she realizes how rich her mothers life is and how hollow and pretentious her father's. Its a chick flick for sure, but I do love it.

Marriages work when two people collide (what did Thelma Ritter say in Rear Window?) 'like a coupla buses on 42nd Street'. If you intellectualize, its over.

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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 5:46 pm

Chick flick, indeed - never would watch something like that, of course!!!
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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 6:01 pm

Vaucluse wrote:Chick flick, indeed - never would watch something like that, of course!!!


Judging the book by the cover are we? And aren't you the resident softie??

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Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 10:23 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Vaucluse wrote:Chick flick, indeed - never would watch something like that, of course!!!


Judging the book by the cover are we? And aren't you the resident softie??



Tough as nails, m'dear. Tough as nails! :cool:
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Postby Saint » Fri, 18 Nov 2005 10:41 pm

Vaucluse wrote:And who was the backbone of this family? Two guesses (Saint gets three because he 'anagrammed' me Value Suc :wink: )


Thanks you Vaucluse, would get it in one as it the same answer for the majority of families.

I've been waiting for Bubbs to post on this subject and very surprised she hasn't already, but then again she might think it's not worth the hassle like me

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Re: Do men want to settle for a dumber girl?

Postby EADG » Sat, 19 Nov 2005 7:31 pm

Kimi wrote:I still see many reasonable male friends of mine tying a knot w/ a rather boring, much less educated or even plain air-headed, "why her?" type of girl.

I also see many Westerners deliberately choosing a Japanese girl when I was living in Japan, who would turn out to be a happy housewife for them.
in a way."


"in a way"? jeeze, are we still perpetuating "Japanese women are submissive" inanities? you lived there, you should know better

how 'bout, because there were just a tad more J-girls than others? and are they really, really more submissive? not in my experience, it may look like that on the outside, but that is because they have perhaps a better sense of decorum than I've seen anywhere else

so are you calling those women "why her" types? they really are all individuals from what I encountered, as different as the American women I had either good- or bad luck to know at that level

and to tell the truth, I have still yet to find a better balance of education, femininty, respectfulness, etiquette, humility, hard-working, cultural identity, well-rounded-ness, loyality, and I actully don't like finding myself in a postion to defend them because my many years there was enough to drive me nuts

the chemistry between two people cannot be simply reduced to intellect, a person you love brings more to the table than that, we all have something that the other doesn't have, and it's those differences that make the pairings interesting and complimentary

plus there are different flavors of intellect, like book-smarts and street-smarts, Mars-and-Venus stuff, many women are clearly better at a lot of practical stuff that confound men, who tend to logial-ise ourselves into corners - I know I may sound like I'm confusing the intent of the conversation but think you get what I mean

so, tell that I've I read into this wrong
Ape Shall Not Kill Ape

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Postby EADG » Sat, 19 Nov 2005 7:33 pm

sapphire wrote:This thread and certain posts make me feel that I'm not so cynical after all! Sheesh, so much analysing, what happened to good ole 'follow your heart' theme when it comes to finding a partner?


Amen to that, Eric's too
Ape Shall Not Kill Ape


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