Fight or Flight?

[dot dot dot]

I think I forgot to add: I fight.

Eric

[sapphire]

I think I forgot to add: I fight.

Eric

Me too! Unless, I decide its not worth it, and that people won't understand. Turns into a waste of time and energy.

[Wind In My Hair]

WIMH, I have a noticed a certain thread pervading your recent posts;

really, what thread? the only trend i notice is i tend to step on others' toes with my big mouth...

Exactly how is it Asian to be non-confrontational? You were kidding, right?

i don't know if it's asian or not. i've been told it was, by westerners no less.

[madwolfie]

so i realise i have a "flight" response, and wonder whether it's part of being asian, to be non-confrontational, or whether there are other contributing factors like genes, education, family etc.

Is non-confrontational considered to be "flight"? By proving one's point is "fight"?

Really, I have no comments...

[Mary Hatch Bailey]

I think I forgot to add: I fight.

Eric

Me too! Unless, I decide its not worth it, and that people won't understand. Turns into a waste of time and energy.

Like my situation with the 'genetic malformation' I encountered at Oosters on Wednesday. There are times in life when for whatever reasons, your responses are different. That one, to me was just not worth it.

...however, flash back time...

I remember stopping by a bar after work with a good friend years ago. It was filled and bustling with kind of a young, yuppie crowd (it was the late 80s after all) but not unpleasantly so. I elbowed my way up to the bar and shouted my order to the bartender for my friend and I, and some unfortunate guy, sitting on a stool nearby seized that opportunity to grope my ass. It wasn't a pinch, it was a grope.

Without thinking, I turned on my heel, slapped him hard across the face, then proceeded to grab him by the collar, pull him in close and sneer: if you EVER touch me again, you better be wearing a 'cup' because it won't be your face next time -- GOT IT!

He was so apologetic, and embarrassed. He just slunked away, poor guy. The five or so guys in the immediate vicinity stood up at once and said: Here! take my seat! The bartender said: Ladies, these are on me! Mari said: I loved you since we were 4, but now I REALLY love ya.

I think the point is, we are not either fight or flight. We can be both. I had a flight situation that probably saved my life, but that's another story...

[Vaucluse]

As usual Mary has written the definitive response -

we are not either fight or flight. We can be both.

Well, not everyone can be both - but everyoen shouldm be able to be so.

[sundaymorningstaple]

And that's why he changes his postings to make sure he appears to be a 'good' guy...

He doesnot give a damn...

Sure....

Eric

Some people couldn't see a concilitory gesture if it hit them between the eyes. I post a caricature that most would find funny and it has set you off just like Bangladeshi_Wonder. How many posts have you now made all across the board STILL thrashing me because of that same post.

Fight? more like spite to me. And frankly, I don't give a damn, that's why I've been letting you rant unabated for the past couple of days. If you can't accept what was an attempt at reconciliation . . . . . nevermind, it's your face.

[sapphire]

I agree SMS, its getting tiresome. I think its time you both kissed and made up like this --->

[Wind In My Hair]

I agree SMS, its getting tiresome. I think its time you both kissed and made up like this --->

yes we should take them out and get them sloshed and after they've hugged and kissed each other silly they'll be too embarrassed to bicker here ever again.

Without thinking, I turned on my heel, slapped him hard across the face, then proceeded to grab him by the collar, pull him in close and sneer: if you EVER touch me again, you better be wearing a 'cup' because it won't be your face next time -- GOT IT!

gosh, MHB. sometimes i wish i were you.

[Bubbles]

MHB........you go girl, you go.

Of course, if something similar happened to me the chances are that the other person would end up being the village hard man and then I'd spend the rest of the night in casualty.

I remember once, when I was newly married, my hubby and I were trying to fix a creaky floorboard in our new house. We both worked and it was about 8pm by the time we got around to doing it. Yes, we did hammer a little, but not much, say about five, six times, just a couple of nails.............whew..........knock knock on the front door, no correct that, bang bang.......

It's the bloke next door we'd never spoken to and the conversation went
something like this....

'If you don't stop f...ing banging I'll come back and f....ing kill you.' And off he went, shouting and cursing. Now, this bloke was huge....my hubby wanted to go in and fight, but thank God he didn't cos the next day when I told the neighbour on the other side she said that his family was locally known and they were all crazy. He had four brothers, two in jail, and this bloke who'd knocked our door had been there too, aggravated burglary apparently. Which means violent entry and theft.

We spent two more years there, each time with crazy hideous looks from this man when we passed in the street. I tell you what, it was the time afterwards, the intimidation and the worry that my husband would break and smack him which formed a large part of my decision to move.

Lowlife that he was. He still lives there apparently but his wife left him because of his violence and now he's some sort of delivery man on drugs. Scary to have blokes like him deliver anything.

A flight response then was most sensible I think.

[Pinky]

I'm there with Pinky. If it is in a forum like this (where I don't know anyone personally) I tend to shy away and stay away from a fight, but if it is with people I really know I am not afraid to stand up and fight and argue through to the end.
I think it is about self confidence too, as well as giving a sh*t. Maybe as years fly by the confidence goes up (with the knowledge from experience) and the caring about what people thinks goes down...

But it becomes a bit sad when the people you are close to stop asking you questions due to one's firery nature..

[Mary Hatch Bailey]

And that's why he changes his postings to make sure he appears to be a 'good' guy...

He doesnot give a damn...

Sure....

Eric

Some people couldn't see a concilitory gesture if it hit them between the eyes. I post a caricature that most would find funny and it has set you off just like Bangladeshi_Wonder. How many posts have you now made all across the board STILL thrashing me because of that same post.

Fight? more like spite to me. And frankly, I don't give a damn, that's why I've been letting you rant unabated for the past couple of days. If you can't accept what was an attempt at reconciliation . . . . . nevermind, it's your face.

I too thought I saw an olive branch in his beak...

I agree with Sapph.

[dot dot dot]

Sorry ladies,

No peace with this guy who is just too hypocrit and constantly plays the game of being indirect, play the innocent victim and hit again in an indirect way. Hate these kind of hyenas.

Guess it's the way it is and will be.

Eric

[Mary Hatch Bailey]

Sorry ladies,

No peace with this guy who is just too hypocrit and constantly plays the game of being indirect, play the innocent victim and hit again in an indirect way. Hate these kind of hyenas.

Guess it's the way it is and will be.

Eric

Hmmm.


Sounds more like flight to me...

[dot dot dot]

to you, but not to me

Eric