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Saint
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Postby Saint » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 5:21 pm

Eric from the Netherlands wrote:
Saint wrote:Saying goodbye to my wife of 1 week as I got a plane back to UK knowing that it would be another 2 months until she arriving in UK:(


Saint...

I can fully relate to that one, same experience here. After we had our beautiful wedding here at Alkaff Mansion, I had to go back to Holland as we agreed on living there. She could not come along, due to the most stupendous law in Holland: while applying for a PR permit to enter Holland, one cannot visit the country. So I had to go back not knowing when we would see eachother again. The Dutch government promised all applicants to take no more than 3 months for the application process. It took them 8 months in our case...

Eric


And I thought my 2 months' wait was bad enough Eric.

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Postby Vaucluse » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 5:55 pm

Mary wrote:
I saw your name up there and just had to check it out. I also like to op in and see what I'm missing...



Likely excuse - I do not wish to see you there again, it is simply not safe! :o
......................................................

'nuff said Image

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 6:13 pm

There is something delightfully old school about you. You're like the Nick to my Nora, the Gable to my Lombarde. Do you speak to Mrs. Vaucluse this way??

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Postby Kimi » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 6:22 pm

It is a non-local's part of life isn't it, to say goodbye to fellow non-local friends by the time they have to leave and you're the one to stay behind.
Which is why I got to hate Narita airport in Tokyo with the goodbyes.
But I must admit, being the person who leaves, the feeling might not be as sad, which is more of a selfish reason... not being the one to feel being left behind...not proud of it though :oops:

The saddest goodbye I had to do was when I was in my first year of univ. and heard a good friend decided to leave Japan as he thought our scholarship programme that includes the study in the univ. for 4 years is not really what he wanted or what would be good for him in the future.
I guess we all held him dear and by the time he went inside the gate, we all had to sit down for a while to sob, even the guys.
Most of us have known each other for about 2 years then, I suppose either since we consider him a great guy whom we would miss to be around and/or that we feel sad more in general that a fellow friend of the same programme we were in decided to give it up, which I suppose makes the programme we chose to be in sounds like a bad one in a sense as well...

Back to the goodbye as part of a non-local's life, there are non-locals who then have decided to live in the country s/he is currently living in for a long time or maybe even forever, would drift away from the non-local community and socialise more with the locals, not to have to go thru the goodbye scenes and I suppose thinking that it's not really worth the investment of his/her time, heart and effort, which is sad but actually holds some truth in it ay?

Just saw Lost In Translation on HBO channel. The goodbye scene there was nice I reckon.
Even if you would like to keep it light, unless the relationship between the two is not that deep, it is indeed nice to have a meaningful goodbye, even if it's going to sadden both or either party...

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 6:32 pm

Lost In Transaltion is a great movie and I watched it today too while I was paying my bills.

I have often compared being an expat to being in University. You make very fast, close bonds and new recruits are definitely like freshman and the old timers command some respect, just like seniors. Then of course comes graduation... Hence the gut wrenching 'good-bye' scenes.

Being the one who leaves has its own price to pay. Every time I leave my parents I think: this could be the very last time and I'm the one with one foot out the door.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 6:42 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote: Every time I leave my parents I think: this could be the very last time and I'm the one with one foot out the door.


This is the one that has been bothering me for the past couple of years. They are getting up in years (78 & 80) Dad's outlived all his brothers by 25 years or more now and is the last left. Everytime someone talks about vacations I end up going home rather than anywhere else for the same reason. This year will be different as both of them will be coming here in Feb for my daughters wedding. (haven't got into the other thread about the young 'ens as it seams my daughter was eight only last week. :cry: )

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Postby Vaucluse » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 9:22 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:There is something delightfully old school about you. You're like the Nick to my Nora, the Gable to my Lombarde. Do you speak to Mrs. Vaucluse this way??



You flatter me . . . :mrgreen:

Yes, I do speak to Mrs 'Cluse this way and she is quite fond of it - she also thinks it is nicely old-fashioned . . .

Strange, as my parents were veeeeeeeeeeeeeery liberal lefties . . . (but we were brought up with excellent manners, and simply can't get rid of them :)
......................................................



'nuff said Image

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Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 9:30 pm

Saying good bye to my 8 year old granddaughter... love of my life. Her #1 request on her birthday list was for me to come home for her birthday. Waaaahhhhh!!!

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Postby dot dot dot » Thu, 03 Nov 2005 10:02 pm

Kimi wrote:Just saw Lost In Translation on HBO channel. The goodbye scene there was nice I reckon.


I wholeheartedly agree there Kimi!

Beautiful goodbye, probably the most sincere and purest one could wish for. No self directed grieve or fake emotions, it is all about loving the other, respecting the other and not concentrating so much on oneself.

So good you mention this one... :)

Eric

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Postby saint_or_sinner » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 1:59 pm

This has so much reminded me of leaving my 2 daughters in the UK, i hate leaving them, it gets so hard.

The night before i leave when taking them to bed is the worst, everyone one realises we wont see each other for 12 weeks.

Not long left now though, will see them in December again for a few weeks, cant wait.

But then the dreaded good bye.

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 2:03 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:Saying good bye to my 8 year old granddaughter... love of my life. Her #1 request on her birthday list was for me to come home for her birthday. Waaaahhhhh!!!

oh that's sweet. so you gave her the present she wanted?

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Postby micknlea » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 2:50 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote: Every time I leave my parents I think: this could be the very last time and I'm the one with one foot out the door.


This is the one that has been bothering me for the past couple of years. They are getting up in years (78 & 80) Dad's outlived all his brothers by 25 years or more now and is the last left. Everytime someone talks about vacations I end up going home rather than anywhere else for the same reason. :cry: )



This is the same for me, they are the both in their 80s and every time I go back home it gets harder to be the one walking out the door. My mum has altzheimers and each time I return she remembers me less and less, and my dad has had huge cardiac problems over the past year, and now when I go through the door he gives me hugs that are like the ones I used to get as a little girl, like he never wants me to leave. Better stop, getting teary just thinking about it. :cry:

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Postby dot dot dot » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 3:37 pm

micknlea wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:
Mary Hatch Bailey wrote: Every time I leave my parents I think: this could be the very last time and I'm the one with one foot out the door.


This is the one that has been bothering me for the past couple of years. They are getting up in years (78 & 80) Dad's outlived all his brothers by 25 years or more now and is the last left. Everytime someone talks about vacations I end up going home rather than anywhere else for the same reason. :cry: )



This is the same for me, they are the both in their 80s and every time I go back home it gets harder to be the one walking out the door. My mum has altzheimers and each time I return she remembers me less and less, and my dad has had huge cardiac problems over the past year, and now when I go through the door he gives me hugs that are like the ones I used to get as a little girl, like he never wants me to leave. Better stop, getting teary just thinking about it. :cry:


Same here as well...

Every vacation is to Holland to visit them and from there we see where to go elsewhere.

This december is gonna be another time: Their 65th wedding anniversary is going to be on. Imagine, 65 years married... :shock:

Eric

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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 3:49 pm

Eric from the Netherlands wrote:This december is gonna be another time: Their 65th wedding anniversary is going to be on. Imagine, 65 years married... :shock:

Eric


Sweet Fancy Jesus! that's impressive!

56 years for my parents, this December too.

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Postby micknlea » Fri, 04 Nov 2005 8:05 pm

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:
Eric from the Netherlands wrote:This december is gonna be another time: Their 65th wedding anniversary is going to be on. Imagine, 65 years married... :shock:

Eric


Sweet Fancy Jesus! that's impressive!

56 years for my parents, this December too.



That is impressive...mine are around the same too....it was 62 years last April for them! Isn't it nice to see that there are still people who stay together??? :)


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