Singapore Expats Forum

husband is most likely having an affair

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

ScooterBiscuit
Member
Member
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun, 02 Oct 2005
Contact:

husband is most likely having an affair

Postby ScooterBiscuit » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 7:13 pm

Ok - this is weird.

so my friend is coming to visit us from Australia. so my husband asks me to take his phone with me wherever I go as our friend may call.

so i get an sms. thinking it may be from our friend i check it out. It's from another friend, but before i can help myself ( i know, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back) i look at the other sms in the folder. The following is a transcript:

"Hell yes. Am about to head out! what are you up to?
from same number
"Singapore home you mean? I just got really excited that you meant this home."

"Well I wish you were a white man sweating here!"

":)"

"Probably"

"Well, have fun. Love you"

"Thank you my love.XOXO"

End of transcript.

So now I'm sitting here with a bottle of wine that in Aust, would have cost about $10, but here is about $30, so how classy am I?

What do you guys think? Affair or not?

Cheers.

BTW - I am unbelievably cute so find it hard to believe that anyone would trade me in for something else. On the other hand, I am a bit of a princess so maybe i am just too hard to maintain?

User avatar
Mary Hatch Bailey
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1579
Joined: Thu, 06 Oct 2005
Location: Bedford Falls

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 7:29 pm

I think he must be.

And I think you must be in shock, that is why you are still joking. This is normal.

Get yourself some space and clear your head, and weigh your options.

So, so sorry.

ringo100
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 235
Joined: Sun, 26 Dec 2004

Yes

Postby ringo100 » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 7:42 pm

Yes, I think so as well. But say have it out with him now.

User avatar
ksl
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6005
Joined: Mon, 19 Jul 2004
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Re: husband is most likely having an affair

Postby ksl » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 7:52 pm

ScooterBiscuit wrote:Ok - this is weird.

so my friend is coming to visit us from Australia. so my husband asks me to take his phone with me wherever I go as our friend may call.

so i get an sms. thinking it may be from our friend i check it out. It's from another friend, but before i can help myself ( i know, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back) i look at the other sms in the folder. The following is a transcript:

"Hell yes. Am about to head out! what are you up to?
from same number
"Singapore home you mean? I just got really excited that you meant this home."

"Well I wish you were a white man sweating here!"

":)"

"Probably"

"Well, have fun. Love you"

"Thank you my love.XOXO"

End of transcript.

So now I'm sitting here with a bottle of wine that in Aust, would have cost about $10, but here is about $30, so how classy am I?

What do you guys think? Affair or not?

Cheers.

BTW - I am unbelievably cute so find it hard to believe that anyone would trade me in for something else. On the other hand, I am a bit of a princess so maybe i am just too hard to maintain?


You must ask yourself what you want out of life? Then lock yourself in the toilet, get pissed and cry your eyes out for an hour, no more, otherwise we will think you have feelings too!

Then move on!!! Welcome to the world of illusions, your bubble just burst.

User avatar
Vaucluse
Director
Director
Posts: 3443
Joined: Sun, 10 Jul 2005

Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 7:54 pm

ksl is cranky about something . . .
......................................................

'nuff said Image

ScooterBiscuit
Member
Member
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun, 02 Oct 2005
Contact:

Postby ScooterBiscuit » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:00 pm

ok. have called every girlfriend available on a friday night.

Thinking of checking into Raffles and paying with his credit card. Then possibly a trip to louis vuitton - sure he will understand.

Well, hope y'all are having a better friday night then me.

User avatar
Mary Hatch Bailey
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1579
Joined: Thu, 06 Oct 2005
Location: Bedford Falls

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:09 pm

Make a plan girl, and go see someone. A therapist. Someone who is there just for you.

Vaucluse, this is no time for light-hearted comments.

ScooterBiscuit
Member
Member
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun, 02 Oct 2005
Contact:

Postby ScooterBiscuit » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:10 pm

Update.

wonder if he'll care if i have booked majorly gorgeous suite at raffles, am taking the laptop, am planning a major shopping binge (retail therapy) and have already booked my ticket to the UK?

User avatar
Vaucluse
Director
Director
Posts: 3443
Joined: Sun, 10 Jul 2005

Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:13 pm

:oops!: Sorry, I forgot that we are now rabble-free.

Yes, unfortuantely it does look like he is, at least, having an sms fling, at worst the real thing.

Confrontation is the only way to grapple with this. Goo luck and stay strong, but do listen to his side first - knee-jerk reactions are not wise.
......................................................



'nuff said Image

User avatar
Mary Hatch Bailey
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1579
Joined: Thu, 06 Oct 2005
Location: Bedford Falls

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:16 pm

I agree with Vaucluse:

Knee the jerk right in the balls!

User avatar
sapphire
Manager
Manager
Posts: 2365
Joined: Sun, 17 Apr 2005

Postby sapphire » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:22 pm

Scooter, isn't it strange that your hubby gives you his cellphone, doesn't erase the messages, doesn't warn the other woman to not sms him? Either he's totally dumb or he wanted you to find out by yourself. Or, and its a big OR, you're reading too much into the messages?

When you're suspicious, best to have a talk with him before you take any step. At least, that's what I would do.
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

User avatar
micknlea
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 572
Joined: Fri, 09 Sep 2005
Location: Singapore

Postby micknlea » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:29 pm

Hi, I really feel for you too. Been there, had that done to me, and found out the same way. I know just where you are at right now. Maybe it isn't what you think, but you have to find out.
Try and get some space to think clearly about what you are going to do (from your other posts it seems like you have only been here a couple of weeks) and definitely have it out with him before you do anything like leave the country.
I hope you have some friends to be with tonight. I will be thinking of you.

User avatar
Mary Hatch Bailey
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1579
Joined: Thu, 06 Oct 2005
Location: Bedford Falls

Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 8:53 pm

sapphire wrote:Scooter, isn't it strange that your hubby gives you his cellphone, doesn't erase the messages, doesn't warn the other woman to not sms him? Either he's totally dumb or he wanted you to find out by yourself. Or, and its a big OR, you're reading too much into the messages?

When you're suspicious, best to have a talk with him before you take any step. At least, that's what I would do.


Sapphire, this is very common. The proverbial cry for help. Wants to be found out. Needs the attention. This is why they stray in the first place...

china girl
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat, 08 Oct 2005
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Postby china girl » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 9:16 pm

SB I feel for you

I left my boyfriend a year ago having found out about his affairs the same way. I just didn't know how to confront him. Around the same time a job offer in Singapore came up and I just left the country.

We still speak regularly on the phone. He's still my favourite guy. I haven't met anyone I could adore anymore than the way I used to adore him.

And on this Friday night I'm at my desk working, wondering what he's up to when I get distracted from the spreadsheet I work on. And life goes on.

I'm really sorry to hear about it. Things will get better eventually I guess
heart's beating loud as thunder, the stars crashing down

User avatar
Bubbles
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 797
Joined: Wed, 25 Aug 2004
Location: Wales, UK

Postby Bubbles » Fri, 14 Oct 2005 9:42 pm

Hey Scooter

So sorry you are so miserable, whether or not what you think is true.

Whatever it is, and yes, I agree with the others, it does sound dubiously like he's up to something, you feel bad NOW, and he's caused this, no matter if you get back together again.

Look, be calm. Yes it's tempting to go nuts and use his card to the max, cut his clothes or smash his car, or whatever, but please, do the least dangerous of these things as you will get the flack in the end.

Fine, spent his money....tough on him, but let it lie at that.

Yep, go back to UK, if that is where you're from. (Good one this, done it myself)

Whilst there, don't be tempted to get pissed every damned minute, you need a clearish head.

But yes, tell close friends, but be careful with relatives cos you MAY get back together and what'll happen then? It's fine for you, you love him, but they won't have that attraction and always and forever they will hate him cos they love YOU. And think on....if it keeps on, and you have kids or whatever....there'll always be that hate on their side, and you'll get tired of it in the end.

But most of all..........be kind to yourself. Don't answer his calls, disappear from his world for a while.

DON'T RING THE NUMBER, DON'T GIVE HER THE PLEASURE.

But if it IS TRUE..........well, he's an assehole and you deserve better.

But be careful, it could be innocent, or a cry for help (yeah right, still did it though, didn't he) so keep your dignity..........just spend his cash, lots of it..........enjoy doing it.

Thinking of you hon.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas.


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests