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Strangers are strange?

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Kimi
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Strangers are strange?

Postby Kimi » Sat, 08 Oct 2005 8:21 pm

On my way back from downtown area to my building in the bus today, I saw a local older man, maybe in his 40s about, just went to this couple of Caucasians to ask the husband some questions.
I must admit not really the content of the questions, but more of how direct he was to a stranger out of the blue asking personal questions like what he does, how old he is, where he lives, why he came to Singapore, what he majored in in univ. etc.
And the good thing is, bless this stranger (if I didn't misheard, he's an OZ it seems), he was actually being quite friendly in answering the local stranger's questions.
Well at the end, when the local stranger got off the bus, he was laughing about it with his wife.

There is a quote I heard or rather read out of what banana wrote I think, about that strangers can be friends whom you haven't known yet, which is actually quite a kuhl quote.
Only, our usual initial response to strangers approaching us and especially starting asking personal questions, we'll start thinking that the other person must be strange or at least we will be a little bit alarmed.
Would that mean we don't really have faith in other people that much anymore or our perception is that people are bad...?

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Wind In My Hair
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Re: Strangers are strange?

Postby Wind In My Hair » Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:42 pm

Kimi wrote:Would that mean we don't really have faith in other people that much anymore or our perception is that people are bad...?

can't answer for anyone else's perception but my own. i've actually started making a point to talk to people around me. not to ask personal questions or anything like that but just to say hello, nice handbag, do you come here often etc. i hope those people don't think i'm being nosey.

i just think this place will be so much nicer if people just started talking to each other rather than walking around pretending everyone else didn't exist. so i'm more than happy when others make the first move to be friendly. of course common sense prevails and if you think they might be up to no good then don't divulge personal details.

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Bubbles
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Postby Bubbles » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 1:42 am

I agree WIMH, if only we could have a good chinwag with strangers, without being thought nutty.

Mind you, it would depend on who was asking, but I'll speak to anyone, me.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas.

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Postby babykasim » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 1:57 am

I agree with WIMH and bubbles too.

I don't mind talking to strangers, answering their questions as long as it's not personal - always enjoy talking with taxi drivers.

I also make an effort to initiate a conversation with someone next to me nowadays, especially in the gym while waiting for the class to begin and I ended up with more friends.

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sapphire
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Postby sapphire » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 12:03 pm

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name

When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

-----

Watching the sun set, Jim Morrison who was depressed at the time realised the cause of his depression - "if you're strange, people are strange." Thats when he wrote this song. Just remembered this tune while reading this thread...
Ever been in that heavy a downpour when faces come out of the rain? Its quite trippy.
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

shirllin
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Postby shirllin » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 12:49 pm

Dear Sapphire....

Thnks for sharing....like the lyrics.....can feel wat is described when I am down.... :(

Regards,
Shirllin
"Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."
"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."

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Mary Hatch Bailey
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Postby Mary Hatch Bailey » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 3:31 pm

Sapphire, you beat me to it! As soon as I read Kimi's subject I heard the Doors in my head.

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Plavt
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Postby Plavt » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 6:48 pm

Some of you have some good ideas but here in London I can almost guarantee that they very often won't work. Often if I try to start a conversation with a stranger they either won't answer or just look at me as if I'm stupid. In all fairness I do the same at times, the trouble is not uncommonly people are only friendly when they want something or they are trying to involve you in something, this has happened so many times.
The common occurrence is begging; while passing some flats (apartments) in north London a guy sat on the wall said hello and started a conversation with me. After a while he came up with a 'story' I have heard before: 'I live over there and my gas and electricity has run out, could you spare me a couple of quid'. On another occasion near the Edgware Road some years ago a man who I think I had seen before gave me what must have been a concocted story about leaving his jacket in his wife's car and running out of petrol. Of course he promised to make me out a cheque if I could lend him some cash. I didn't of course, I just said I don't carry cash. These are only two examples of course but there have been numerous others, most commonly street beggars wanting ten or twenty pence. It isn't difficult to see why people are wary of strangers and often keep themselves to themselves. Unfortunately this can have potentially bad consequences. Years ago after I got my first First Aid certificate I was walking along the road near where I live at night and noticed a man slumped over the low wall. Other people walked by and took no notice presumably assuming he was drunk as is often the case.
When I looked at him I noticed he was holding a medical alert card in his hand. He was in fact diabetic. By some good fortune and ambulance on a non urgent call just happened to be passing which I 'flagged' down and got him inside.

The society we live in (in the UK cities and many others) is too often threatening and sometimes dangerous. Hardly surprising then that some of us are becoming a little reclusive.

shirllin
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Postby shirllin » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 8:24 pm

HI...

Well...people react differently to strangers....i believe that if u do it with sincerity and no hidden intention most likely the other party will feel it and they will be more likely to return the same courtesy...

Have an experience on a bus...I was unusually happy one day and started smiling....then a lady smiled back then she started talking to me and we chatted till we reach the station.....but there was also once when a guy came up to me and tried to be funny.....I think it really depends on the people we meet....

The people here definitely do not need embark in a conversation to beg for money....they will just come up to u and ask for money even in areas like cafes like starbucks....


Regards,
Shirllin
"Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."

"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."

SwingMonkey
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The Lost Boys

Postby SwingMonkey » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 9:58 am

Mary Hatch Bailey wrote:Sapphire, you beat me to it! As soon as I read Kimi's subject I heard the Doors in my head.


I always remember that song in conjunction with th soundtrack from "The Lost Boys" :P
Putting the 'fun' back in Dys-FUN-ctional :P

dot dot dot
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Postby dot dot dot » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:27 am

sapphire wrote:People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name

When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

-----

Watching the sun set, Jim Morrison who was depressed at the time realised the cause of his depression - "if you're strange, people are strange." Thats when he wrote this song. Just remembered this tune while reading this thread...
Ever been in that heavy a downpour when faces come out of the rain? Its quite trippy.


Come on, come on, come on,
now touch me babe,
can't you see that I am not afraid?

:D :D :D

Eric
Last edited by dot dot dot on Mon, 10 Oct 2005 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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sapphire
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Postby sapphire » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:44 am

Oh you're such a tart!!

But, come on baby light my fire, try to set the night on fire! :P
It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.

dot dot dot
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Postby dot dot dot » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:56 am

before you slip into uncounsciousness
I'd like to have another kiss :P

Eric

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Baron Greenback
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Postby Baron Greenback » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 1:04 pm

I am a bit dubious of strangers that like to engage in conversation, as Plavt noted it can be a way to make you feel more inclined to give them money after you hear their sob story.

I was on a bus in Singpore the other week & this chinese man started up a conversation, the usual how long have you been here, what do you do, where are you from etc. He came across as a bit of a nutter, slightly shabby clothes, avoided eye contact, had a nervous twitch etc.

When I mentioned that I studied law at Newcastle he named a book that my lecturer had written! I kid you not, this guy was akin to rainman & obvioulsy remembered everything he ever read. Amazing guy, if a little scarey.

On the Doors theme:
"I found an island in your arms
Country in your eyes
Arms that chain us
Eyes that lie"
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Hemingway

locallass
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Postby locallass » Mon, 10 Oct 2005 2:17 pm

I admit I'm one of those who is wary of strangers from the streets, whether I meet them in Singapore or while I'm backpacking in another country. Most of the time, they're the nice friendly grandmotherly/fatherly type and are curious or trying to be helpful. I always walk away smiling after such encounters.

But I've also had my share of strange men who tried to pick me up and people who want money from me. One guy actually tried to kiss me at a phone booth when I was calling home from Barcelona.

So I can't help but be wary at least for the first 5 mins when I meet someone nowadays, until I've more or established what they want from me. Does that make me cynical? Guess it's always better to be safe than sorry at the end of the day.


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