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How do you communicate with children?

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Kimi
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How do you communicate with children?

Postby Kimi » Sat, 08 Oct 2005 8:03 pm

I was swimming in my building this afternoon when 4 children and their Opa/grandfather jumped into the pool as well with their plastic boat.
Luvly children especially the girls, only the boy, who seems to be the eldest even(!) was being greedy and wouldn't share the boat at the end and made one of the girls cry even!
And what's worse, the grandad couldn't seem to do anything about it :(

I was nearby the saddened girl and was trying to cheer her up by offering her to sit on my shoulders if she wanted, but she said no and went on sulking for a while, before later on playing with her sister.
I must admit I really envy people who can connect to children or I suppose anybody really instantly, or funny people who can just bring a smile to kids or anybody again really.
And what scares me more is if I had my own children, how do I talk to them, say when they're naughty or to teach them things or to answer their questions that make you scratch your head let's say! And I actually love children, but am confused how to talk to them actually :(
So for those who already have children or who can connect to children easily, how do you communicate to them?
Last edited by Kimi on Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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jag78
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Postby jag78 » Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:20 pm

Hi Kimi,

I guess there're no hard and fast rules where bringing up kids are concerned so relax :wink: But I think it's great that you're concerned enough to care!
I was really lucky that my lil sis came along when I was almost ten, so I had a hand in changing her diapers, making her milk and feeding her, bathing and singing to her, teaching her to read...so when my little one came along, it was almost second nature. Still, don't let that fool you...it's still hard work.
If you're really worried, there're loads of resources on the net and scores of books to guide you from the moment you conceive to the time they're teenagers. But although some of them offer really good advice, be discerning and feel free to tweak them a little to something you're comfortable with.
Every child is unique as are their parents, so what may work for one mayn't work for another...The important thing is to keep trying. And for those who seem to have it all together, they've had years of trial and error, and of course, learning from their mistakes.

:)

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 12:54 am

I Have 3 children two of them adults now from a previous marriage!

I can honetly say in my case, that 3rd child the youngest will be 5 this month, and is my biggest challange to date!

I am now wondering if she may be suffering from 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' which is quite common. she is very quick and intelligent, but totally refuses to do anythink she is asked.

Yet in childcare she is a model pupil, I suspect that my wife and in-laws have spoiled her to such an extent, by allowing her to minipulate them, babies actually start the manipulation process at a very early age, and if not nipped in the bud early. will result in more and more manipulation.

I try my best to talk to her on her own level, she does understand, and tries hard sometimes to behave, but lack of conscentration is enough to get her going again, whining, and saying i want, i want, i want. I very rarely give into her demands, but i can tell you, just lately she's driven me to my limits.

she will always reply with a question, If i say come on darling it's late and you must sleep, "she will why can you stay up and not me! explaining to her is not an option she will listen to. It's if i go to bed you go to bed! you stay up i stay up.

The difficullty is quite grave, becuase one doen't wish to supress her individual leadership qualities she has, yet the minipulation she uses to get her own way, is a problem of concern. I hold my hand up and will admit, that i cannot take more, i need to get specialist advice here.

I have tried cutting out drinks like coke, pepsi and cutting out sugars, but it doesn't really help.

Unfortunately my wife has no maternal instincts of being a mother, which makes it even more difficult, she loves children, mostly other peoples, becuase she never sees them manipulating her.

I can tell you not all kids are easy, and this particular case will be my last.

At the end of the day, the rewards do come back, and she will apologise and promise to try to be good, she is smart, exceptionally good looking, shy yet confident when in groups of children, and likes to be the boss. So care is needed not to surpress her individual talents.

My other children were a dream, growing up, no problem at all, until later in adult life, where finding their own direction has been a problem, yet I am always at hand, when needed.

I'm afraid once you are a parent, you have always the worry and anguish, that your children are suffering also in adult life, so it's a never ending role.
The rewards of seeing them grow and have children of their own is well worth it, the promlem is for parents they always worry, and try not to show it.

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 12:58 am

I Have 3 children two of them adults now from a previous marriage!

I can honetly say in my case, that 3rd child the youngest will be 5 this month, and is my biggest challange to date!

I am now wondering if she may be suffering from 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' which is quite common. she is very quick and intelligent, but totally refuses to do anythink she is asked.

Yet in childcare she is a model pupil, I suspect that my wife and in-laws have spoiled her to such an extent, by allowing her to minipulate them, babies actually start the manipulation process at a very early age, and if not nipped in the bud early. will result in more and more manipulation.

I try my best to talk to her on her own level, she does understand, and tries hard sometimes to behave, but lack of conscentration is enough to get her going again, whining, and saying i want, i want, i want. I very rarely give into her demands, but i can tell you, just lately she's driven me to my limits.

she will always reply with a question, If i say come on darling it's late and you must sleep, "she will why can you stay up and not me! explaining to her is not an option she will listen to. It's if i go to bed you go to bed! you stay up i stay up.

The difficullty is quite grave, becuase one doen't wish to supress her individual leadership qualities she has, yet the minipulation she uses to get her own way, is a problem of concern. I hold my hand up and will admit, that i cannot take more, i need to get specialist advice here.

I have tried cutting out drinks like coke, pepsi and cutting out sugars, but it doesn't really help.

Unfortunately my wife has no maternal instincts of being a mother, which makes it even more difficult, she loves children, mostly other peoples, becuase she never sees them manipulating her.

I can tell you not all kids are easy, and this particular case will be my last.

At the end of the day, the rewards do come back, and she will apologise and promise to try to be good, she is smart, exceptionally good looking, shy yet confident when in groups of children, and likes to be the boss. So care is needed not to surpress her individual talents.

My other children were a dream, growing up, no problem at all, until later in adult life, where finding their own direction has been a problem, yet I am always at hand, when needed.

I'm afraid once you are a parent, you have always the worry and anguish, that your children are suffering also in adult life, so it's a never ending role.
The rewards of seeing them grow and have children of their own is well worth it, the promlem is for parents they always worry, and try not to show it.

shirllin
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Postby shirllin » Sun, 09 Oct 2005 12:28 pm

Hi...

Thnks for sharing ksl.....your story sounds familiar....remind me of my younger days....love children always....children are getting smarter nowadays..... :)

Regards,
Shirllin
"Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."
"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."


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