Help for my 8-year old

[chriskrish]

Hi, I'm a 37-year old Singaporean Mum who is having a pretty hard time with my eldest boy. I suspect he may have ADHD and was wondering oif there are any group support for parents with ADHD kids? He is currently undergoing counselling and will be tested soon. His school feels that he may have emotional problems and not ADHD. I am not too sure what to do and how to help him. I was told that he does not have good social skills. Will putting him in programmes where he could interact with other kids help him? Are there any support groups who frequently gather and allow their kids to mingle and socialise with other kids? Also, are there any anger management classes that I can place him in? Please help. I am at my wits end.

[Sandpiper]

Hello,

and big hugs. I know what it is like to live with a child with "special needs" (not ADHD though but poor social skills). Good luck with the assessment - I hope it provides you with some helpful guidance.

I have found a support group invaluable - to share information, stories and just to remove that sense of feeling all alone. So I would recommend that for you as a starting point. I am sure they will be able to help you re the other questions you have about groups, anger management courses for your child. It looks like you can contact support groups in Singapore via www.spark.org.sg. The first meeting is always the hardest (and teariest).

I am also a big (and very boring) believer in the power of diet. I am sure it is more difficult as your child gets older but you may want to consider looking at the affect of food additives on behaviour. The book I used was "Fed Up" by Sue Denby.

Also as you mention social skiils are an issue it might be worth looking at www.autism.org.sg

[beenhere10years]

Hi, I'm a 37-year old Singaporean Mum who is having a pretty hard time with my eldest boy. I suspect he may have ADHD and was wondering oif there are any group support for parents with ADHD kids? He is currently undergoing counselling and will be tested soon. His school feels that he may have emotional problems and not ADHD. I am not too sure what to do and how to help him. I was told that he does not have good social skills. Will putting him in programmes where he could interact with other kids help him? Are there any support groups who frequently gather and allow their kids to mingle and socialise with other kids? Also, are there any anger management classes that I can place him in? Please help. I am at my wits end.

Don't put the cart before the horse here. Get the results of an evaluation first, then the rest falls into place. Once you have the results, you'll have a much clearer picture on how best to proceed. The doctor doing the evaluation should have at least a starting place of resources for you: literature, support groups, therapy, etc...

If you run into a deadend, you may want to speak to someone at the Genesis school. I know parents who have received wonderful information from them even though their children do not attend the school.

Remember, every mother of every boy has felt this way at one time or another. Honestly. Good luck.

[Sandpiper]

I am afraid I disagree with BH10Y to some extent.

Chris, you do not need to wait for a formal evaluation to start getting the support YOU need. We have families in our support group who have not yet moved to evaluation stage, for various reasons, but are going through the same issues. A formal evaluation - for or against - is not going to change the fact that they are facing difficulties. They are not lessor members of the group, in fact I couldn't tell you who has what label attached or pending!

Please do not be afraid to reach out. The person doing your evaluation SHOULD also be able to point you in the direction.

When there is a special needs or difficult child in the family the whole family needs help and support - not just from groups set up for this purpose but from the community as a whole. The help you provide may only be "not judging' but trust me even that is a lot.

[beenhere10years]

I am afraid I disagree with BH10Y to some extent.

Chris, you do not need to wait for a formal evaluation to start getting the support YOU need. We have families in our support group who have not yet moved to evaluation stage, for various reasons, but are going through the same issues. A formal evaluation - for or against - is not going to change the fact that they are facing difficulties. They are not lessor members of the group, in fact I couldn't tell you who has what label attached or pending!

Please do not be afraid to reach out. The person doing your evaluation SHOULD also be able to point you in the direction.

When there is a special needs or difficult child in the family the whole family needs help and support - not just from groups set up for this purpose but from the community as a whole. The help you provide may only be "not judging' but trust me even that is a lot.

I only meant that the evaluation will point them in the right direction. Why sit in with an ADHD group when your child has a sensory disorder or a wheat allergy?

[Pebbler]

Hi Chris,

CGC (Child Guidance Clinic) in HPB building is a good place to start (their phone number is 64353879). They have social skill groups and in fact the SPARK parents group mentioned before meets over there once a month. You may inquire there about anger management groups as well.

From my experience, I believe that early intervention is important, and that formal assessment and evaluation is the basis for that. There is no point to go for therapy or anything without knowing what are the difficulties your child is facing.

One of the types of therapy you may find helpful is Occupational Therapy (OT). Sensory Integration therapy is usually very helpful for ADHD kids and helps them settle down. You may find this service at CGC as well. If you want to see a private therapist, you may want to try Dynamics in Orchard Road (see http://www.dynamics.com.sg).

Good luck!!

Sarah

[mlle-e]

Hi, I'm a 37-year old Singaporean Mum who is having a pretty hard time with my eldest boy. I suspect he may have ADHD and was wondering oif there are any group support for parents with ADHD kids? He is currently undergoing counselling and will be tested soon. His school feels that he may have emotional problems and not ADHD. I am not too sure what to do and how to help him. I was told that he does not have good social skills. Will putting him in programmes where he could interact with other kids help him? Are there any support groups who frequently gather and allow their kids to mingle and socialise with other kids? Also, are there any anger management classes that I can place him in? Please help. I am at my wits end.

any updates? if possible pm me
thanks!

[Callalily]

Hello
There some great places in Singapore to get help. Firstly, what makes you think it is ADHD? You mentioned poor social skills, I would have him tested for ASD just to be sure. No matter what it is, you will find good facilities to help him. I wouldn't join any support group yet as you still don't know what the diagnosis is. However, if you know he has poor social skills and hyperactivity (which could be caused by so many different pathologies without being ADHD), take him to a child psychologist for testing and start therapies asap. I went through all this recently with my son so have loads of addresses. If you want any, please pm me. Thinking of you as it is always so worrying when it comes to our children. As soon as you know, you can start helping him.

Lily