about to have an afffair with a married man

beenhere10years · Post by **beenhere10years** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 7:03 am

spice wrote:Does anyone have any postive input about my having an affair? spice

NO!

Positive?

About you selfishly endangering this man's marriage? About you transferring your grief by lashing out at others? About you showcasing your abysmally low self-esteem?

Don't let yourself be the one this guy cheats with. You are feeling bad enough already -- why run full tilt at the fan blade??

Vaucluse · Post by **Vaucluse** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 9:56 am

Gee, BH10Y, I couldn't have put it better myself . . . she simply doesn't want to get it . . .

<insert sound of washing hands>

beenhere10years · Post by **beenhere10years** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 11:38 am

Vaucluse wrote:Gee, BH10Y, I couldn't have put it better myself . . . she simply doesn't want to get it . . .

<insert sound of washing hands>

let's do the old pontius pilot routine together....

Vaucluse · Post by **Vaucluse** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 2:07 pm

Ok, but let's not be cross with her . . .

Post by **Strong Eagle** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 2:55 pm

Can you say, "WIND UP"?

Besides, you either will or you won't. Asking for opinions on the matter rarely has much effect when it comes to sex.

Too bad though, that she can't figure out that he's just looking for some "strange" while she is letting emotion get the better of her.

beenhere10years · Post by **beenhere10years** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 3:45 pm

Vaucluse wrote:Ok, but let's not be cross with her . . .

even though its a thorny problem...

spice · Post by **spice** » Sun, 18 Sep 2005 10:47 pm

So much for compassion. All I seem to be getting here is back lashing .Seems to me he's endangering his own marriage too. Why put the blame all on me. He's quite aware of this. I guess I'll wait and see how things go. spice

Vaucluse · Post by **Vaucluse** » Mon, 19 Sep 2005 12:47 am

Well, not meaning to crucify you for this, but you have the option: Yes or No.

The guys a prick (

) and you are not helping.

Code: Select all

So much for compassion

You got some of that at the beginning, but ruined it with your asking for someone to side with the 'yes' option.

spice · Post by **spice** » Mon, 19 Sep 2005 8:37 am

Not really trying to get someone to side with the yes option,but to find out moreor less if anyone has anything positive to say about these relationshipsor if anyone has been in similar situations and if they worked out . Iam not an evil person.Iam not intentionally trying to hurt anyone. Like I said he's been my best friend mos of my life

Icould not call him a prick,and its not all bout sex,and don't know for certain that I'll follow through with that right now. spice

Ling2 · Post by **Ling2** » Mon, 19 Sep 2005 11:39 am

Two questions I will asked if I am in such situation, which I have, in fact!

1. Would I regret this later? If Yes, no need to ask next question, if no...

2. Would doing this make me a better person "guilt free" etc? if no...

Then..it's a big NO. Why? coz you should know how to treat yourself right, why suffer the consequence when you can avoid it?

My "once" good pal, said he would die for me too and he did divorce his wife eventually, but I realized I wasn't in love with him at all, I was just lonely after my broken marriage. I ruined a good friendship due to a moment of weakness and that's one of my regrets......

Once a pal told me.."suffering from my own seperation" that if indeed there's a 3rd party and they are truly in love.... then I am the actual "3rd party" if I am not moving on..and let them be together. The question I shoot back is.. How would we know? I moved on, not because I think I am the 3rd party, but because I know I deserve better.

So there, you have my experiences as both.... now I hope you would love yourself more and not let yourself be in a "mistress" position. Be careful when you are vunerable, some pal would take advantage of that and you often don't make wise decision and not even the right emotions.

Baron Greenback · Post by **Baron Greenback** » Mon, 19 Sep 2005 2:03 pm

Spice - the mere fact that you are asking a bunch of strangers on the internet makes me think that you are having doubts anyway.

We will never know the whole story so we can't give you any real advice. If it feels wrong then you are the one that will have to live with the guilt. Guys are much better at distacncing their emotions from a physical relationship. You will probably end up getting hurt & having a reputation as well.

Don't bother - there are plenty more fish in the sea that are not married.

Vaucluse · Post by **Vaucluse** » Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:12 pm

Why bring fish into this, Baron? She wants a human . . . Geez, lay off the grog, will you!

I think SE is right - wind-up)

Baron Greenback · Post by **Baron Greenback** » Tue, 20 Sep 2005 10:44 am

From an excellent English comedy Bottom:

Eddie: "Have you had the fish?"
Rick: "No, I'm not that pervy"

spice · Post by **spice** » Tue, 20 Sep 2005 10:50 am

Hey you guys , whats with the FISH? spice

Vaucluse · Post by **Vaucluse** » Tue, 20 Sep 2005 11:25 am

Baron Greenback wrote:From an excellent English comedy Bottom:

Eddie: "Have you had the fish?"
Rick: "No, I'm not that pervy"

Love it . . . .

Spice, the fish is a characterisation, a similie, as it were, of modern scruples and mores. the fish plays a very special role in western christian mythology, being both the provider of nourishment as well as the sign for those alike to recognise one another.

Make sense now?

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