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Anger Management

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locallass
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Anger Management

Postby locallass » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 5:31 pm

How do you deal with staff with Anger Management issues? This girl who reports directly to me goes around the office with a black face everyday, is very argumentative and has an explosive temper. I'm told she has personal issues. I'm putting up with it for the time being because she's good at her work. What is the best way to handle such staff? Or should I just cut my losses before her probation is up?

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Re: Anger Management

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 5:49 pm

locallass wrote:How do you deal with staff with Anger Management issues? This girl who reports directly to me goes around the office with a black face everyday, is very argumentative and has an explosive temper. I'm told she has personal issues. I'm putting up with it for the time being because she's good at her work. What is the best way to handle such staff? Or should I just cut my losses before her probation is up?


Locallass,

If she is still on probation, from a long time manager and employer, I would have to say she would have to go. If she has personal issues she should compartmentalize or leave it at home. If she is disruptive now at work because she has "issues" just think what it will be like once she has been confirmed. Then she can say, 'well nobody minded when I was on probation' then how will you answer that? "We thought you would change."

Cut your losses, there are more out there who want to work and are probably just as good and less disruptive to the harmony of your office.

sms

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 5:57 pm

have you tried talking to her and telling her exactly what you said here? that you think she is good at her work and would like to confirm her but her behaviour is disruptive and unacceptable. basically tell her to shape up or ship out. give her a second chance and if things don't improve then maybe it's best to let her go. if she does improve then you've got someone who is open to feedback and willing to change and that's a good thing in an employee. good luck!

LoisL

Postby LoisL » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 6:33 pm

Agree with WIMH- always give someone a chance but be very firm with her and tell her exactly what she does or says is a problem. Ask her if she needs help with her personal problem and offer to counsel her (if u can) or tell her to go get some help from other sources.

She may also be suffering from depression because sometimes people who are depressed get angry easily and they dont know why or how- anything and everything can be a trigger. If she's PMSish= that is no excuse- tell her to make sure she is taking the right nutrients. Bottom line is this- find out what her issues are (please dont hold it against her or judge her) the tell her you want to see marked improvements starting the very next day (u need to give her time to absorb what you have said). Remind her that her confirmation is pending her change in behaviour even if she is a good worker.

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Postby ketchup » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 7:29 pm

Extend probation.

Working enviroment / morales really will be affected by such behaviours.
Not wise to keep her.

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Postby Edwin » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 9:27 pm

In my personal experience I've always found that staff respond best when handled firmly but fairly. Take her to one side for a chat, accentuate the positive aspects of her work and the value she's brought to the team and then explain your concerns to her.

She's more likely to open up about her own problems to you (thus giving everyone a better chance of resolving the situation), if you take this approach than if you were to start shaking your fist at her. Doesn't seem to have the kind of personality that would respond well to agressive behaviour anyway.

I guess how far you're prepared to go with this will depend to some extent on her worth to the company.

Wind In My Hair wrote:if she does improve then you've got someone who is open to feedback and willing to change and that's a good thing in an employee. good luck!


Yeah, well said.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 9:48 pm

Much can and needs to be said about this topic. Too much for a few paragraphs. PM me if you'd like to talk about it more. You are really in a position to need to make a situational assessment and from that assessment, determine your choices. No answer really possible with the limited information you have provided.

Cheers.

Guest

Postby Guest » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 10:14 pm

Her black face is telling you she needs lots of your love. Go give her a warm hug. Then tell her not to worry about tommorrow. Tell her you will be there no matter what the weather report brings the next day. Thunder, storm, hail or wail, your everlasting love for her will be her tower of strength. With a friend like you, surely in no time, her black face will turn white again!

Good wishes.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 10:36 pm

Anonymous wrote:Her black face is telling you she needs lots of your love. Go give her a warm hug. Then tell her not to worry about tommorrow. Tell her you will be there no matter what the weather report brings the next day. Thunder, storm, hail or wail, your everlasting love for her will be her tower of strength. With a friend like you, surely in no time, her black face will turn white again!

Good wishes.


Don't know what that will get you here in Singapore but in the US it'll get you a sexual harassment suit!

Bubbs

Postby Bubbs » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 10:44 pm

I absolutely agree with Strong Eagle. It's far too broad a subject to discuss in such brevity.
This needs careful and fair handling. You have invested energy and resources into this person so it would be a shame to terminate the situation without a thorough investigation into the causes of her unrest. You could be pleasantly surprised at the outcome if things were discussed openly.

I think she deserves a chance to put her side of the story, and you yours.

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Postby dot dot dot » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 11:28 pm

Businesswise you could take the decision to 'sack her' in probation time. Weigh the profits against the losses.

If you want to solve this in a different way, it gets interesting.

Conflict management: You say she is good at work. Give her that feedback, but also tell her what is not good. Stick to facts and be concrete. Tell her where to change, be positive, so put everything in a 'improvement mode'. Do not get into discussions on why it went wrong, look to the future and ask her how she thinks she can improve and translate these suggestions into measurable goals and evaluate it 2-weekly. (Both commit to targets for improvement (dialogue, not monologue)).

For more information, Krauthammer is a very good HRM consulting company on this and other HRM matters. I had some great training by them, can absolutely recommend them, they have office in Singapore.

http://www.krauthammer.com/index_com.html

Eric

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Re: Anger Management

Postby queenie-me » Sat, 10 Sep 2005 12:04 am

locallass wrote:How do you deal with staff with Anger Management issues? This girl who reports directly to me goes around the office with a black face everyday, is very argumentative and has an explosive temper. I'm told she has personal issues. I'm putting up with it for the time being because she's good at her work. What is the best way to handle such staff? Or should I just cut my losses before her probation is up?


Counselling is the BEST! trust me, i was once like that. But the school sent me for counselling. Cause I have "best" moodswing till' the teachers just scared of me! :evil: :twisted:

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Postby locallass » Sat, 10 Sep 2005 12:12 am

Thanks everyone for your input.

I’ve had many issues with this staff- like always being late (I’m talking about half an hour on an almost daily basis), not turning up at work because she overslept and woke up at 11am, being slow in her work (I later found out that this is because she’s chatting online or otherwise distracted), goes behind my back and by-passes me… the list goes on. Sounds hellish, doesn’t it? She is technically brilliant but her attitude simply sucks. I close one eye on minor infractions but have called her out on a number of others.

Have tried talking to her. She’s sullen and silent by nature. So I end up doing most of the talking, with little feedback from her, even though I often ask her for it. I give up and just tell her what changes I would like. Things then improve a little but not much. Maybe that’s because she feels resentful.

We (the rest of the management and I) have more or less told her that we like her work but we’ll have to let her go if she goes on like this. She has a couple of months to the end of her probation, so we’ll see then.

Anonymous wrote:Her black face is telling you she needs lots of your love. Go give her a warm hug. Then tell her not to worry about tommorrow. Tell her you will be there no matter what the weather report brings the next day. Thunder, storm, hail or wail, your everlasting love for her will be her tower of strength. With a friend like you, surely in no time, her black face will turn white again!


This comment is meant as a joke right? Sorry, I’m her boss, not her mother or best friend. I can be sympathetic, to a certain level, and can give her some time off to deal with her personal problems. But I’m not here to solve them for her. I agree with sms about the need to compartmentalize these issues or leave them at home.

Work-related issues are another kettle of fish altogether. And nobody can help her if she doesn’t want to speak up.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Locallass,

If she is still on probation, from a long time manager and employer, I would have to say she would have to go. If she has personal issues she should compartmentalize or leave it at home. If she is disruptive now at work because she has "issues" just think what it will be like once she has been confirmed. Then she can say, 'well nobody minded when I was on probation' then how will you answer that? "We thought you would change."

Cut your losses, there are more out there who want to work and are probably just as good and less disruptive to the harmony of your office.

sms


sms, I’m lucky that this time round, I can decide whether to retain her as she’s under probation. I may not be so lucky the next time, especially if I’ve “inherited”
Last edited by locallass on Sat, 10 Sep 2005 8:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

locallass
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Postby locallass » Sat, 10 Sep 2005 12:20 am

Eric from the Netherlands wrote:Businesswise you could take the decision to 'sack her' in probation time. Weigh the profits against the losses.


Actually sacking is not exactly the easiest way out. You have to start the interviewing and selection process again. It's very time-consuming and disruptive to the everyday work cycle. And when you finally find someone suitable, you'll still have to wait for the person to finish his/her notice. In the meantime, you have to redistribute the work, undertake it yourself or outsource (this is another set of management/budgetary problems all over again).

I know I will lose some no matter which option I end up taking.

jestor

Postby jestor » Sun, 11 Sep 2005 2:27 pm

best you can 'save' the soul. not all r gifted here unfortune. nevertheless, you seems sound minded. i am sure it will turn out fine for u cant measure life on win lose all the time. go with the flow.


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