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by YF » Fri, 09 Sep 2005 1:48 am
Good for you! Now is the time to have some confidence, but don't blow it!! The shy guys I know usually make one big error at this point: "they play the friend angle". I am not saying don't be friends -- do because that is THE most important aspect of a good relationship -- but if you like her you don't want her to move inot "just friends" thinking. If she has agreed to go out with you, whether or not she is attracted to you at the moment doesn't matter, she is willing to get to know you as a person and thats whats going to tell her if she likes you or if she LIKES you.
So what to do: well first of all, be subtle but make your intentions known. Let her know that you are attracted to her. For instance,if things are going well when you are talking with her, tell her you had to come up and talk to her because you were irresistably cute. Or even let her know that you were nervous going up to talk to her. Let her know why it was you came up to talk to her: was it her smile? her presence? her eyes? flirt and be funny! keep it light hearted! Don't come on toostrong. She may be sizing you up right now and may not have made a decision yet. If you flirt, and things like that and she stays NEUTRAL, then keep doing what you are doing. If she is pulling away, then she is giving you the "slow down" which doesn't necessarily mean you are out of the game just yet. Doing this, she will start thinking: "hmmm, what about this guy??" -- if you disguise your intentions because you are fearing rejection then she is going to start saying to herself, "this guys is a good friend" at which point GAME OVER. Again, take your time with it, don't rush it, flirt with her, let her know that you like her but give her some space to pull back if she feels uncomfortable or pressured. She'll aprreaciate that. If she really wants to be friends ONLY then its better to find out now than later anyways. And if thats the case, maybe she'll have a friend she can set you up with!
Finally, DON'T go overboard either. Don't bring her a present, or flowers or anything like that. Say to yourself, I want to get to know this girl who I am attracted to. Don't scare her off, let her size you up first.
And one more thing: maybe she *is* reading this forum -- and you know what? all the better! At least she knows you like her and from what you have said, you have been a complete gentleman about the whole thing. I am sure she would find this intriguing and know that you have genuine intentions. She might even be reading along at some point giving YOU advice on what to do! haha wouldn't that be funny!
Hope this helps. These are probably things you already know, but sometimes you just need to hear it again to get your hear straight!
-Rob
