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by Lola » Thu, 08 Sep 2005 11:35 am
To Mrs Ho.
I can't begin to say how much I sympathize with you.
However, let me put this to you as nicely as I can, that man is lying to you. And of course he'll tell you how much he 'loves' you, how much he 'needs' you, and how sorry his life is because his wife doesn't love him, etc, etc, all those reasons he'd spend days thinking over with a brain like that.
If he told you you're just a bed warmer to spice things up when he shags his wife after having a quickie with you, and a free one at that because he'd still have to pay a prostitute money and he's too much of a cheapskate to do that, what would you do?
Would you still "love" this man who whispers sweet words of venom into your ear?
If you want to love a man, look for an honest, decent and honourable man. Don't pull yourself down to that level to find a love that will fulfill you, because it won't.
He will lie to get you in bed with him, to treat you like a free prostitute - and laugh behind your back at how immensely naive, how stupid and gullible you are to let him have your body, because your heart is merely a by-product of the goal he really wants - free, uncommited sex.
He isn't willing to leave his family, the woman who bears his children, behind because they are his commitment, his investment. he runs his family like a business and you're his dirty little trade secret he knows will bring his entire business down if his partner (wife) finds out.
She will leave him. Of course she will.
You are nothing to him but a hobby. A snack. An in-flight meal he'll forget.
I'm sorry to say this so harshly, but you have to know what truth is and how painful it can be before you realise you're giving yourself to something that isn't worth it.
If he loved you so much, why is he still with his wife? How long has he been saying he will "divorce" her, or he will "leave" her? Or, did he even mention it at all?
You're the annoynomous sms on his phone he erases before his wife sees. You're the "wrong number" on the phone whenever his wife walks into the bedroom/living room. You're the "office girl" he stays back to handle "projects" with and instruct to clean the office after work. What are you? You're a lie he is living, and he will do anything to make sure you don't exist in his life.
Please, love yourself. You have to love yourself before you love others. And if he's too busy giving his love to others, you're nothing but some cheap, free sexual outlet he can practice all his dirtiest, most disgusting sexual desires he'd never even dream of doing with his wife because of the disrespect involved in it. His own pleasure matters more than yours, and if it's just sweet words, some occasional flowers and a meal with you, one or two fun outings that's probably going to end up with some free sex and heavy make-out sessions, why the hell not would he care about paying so little on his part to receive so much on yours?
Please, at least, think about this.
Don't trade your body off freely for nothing, for peanuts. You're worth more than some swindling gambler who gambles his wife, children, and another woman's (yours) heart and body for his own selfish desires, reasons, and pleasure.
If you go out, make friends, join a course, a hobby at a community centre, volunteer somewhere where people need the love and time you spend on this man, you'll find that there are many good, decent man who can truly appreciate you for what you are, what you can give.
