How many users from Singapore Expats Forum does it take...

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 8:28 am

Q: How many users from Singapore Expats Forum does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Exactly five hundred.

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the forum that the light bulb has been changed.

7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

21 to flame the spell checkers.

49 to write to the administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

32 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this thread to another place.

69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.

12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.

2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this forum which makes light bulbs relevant to this forum.

15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, "Me Too."

6 to post to the forum that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

9 to quote the "Me Too's" and happily add, "Me Three!"

3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb forum.

24 to say that only registered members should be allowed to discuss about light bulbs.

53 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

Yutenji · Post by **Yutenji** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 9:16 am

Outstanding!

But you forgot ...

1,452 posts asking "wil chnaging ths liteb hlp me gt interview w SIA?"

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 9:22 am

You're right. And may be another 23 "Guest" or "Anonymous" to tell the OP he's a racist because he used a white bulb...

Yutenji · Post by **Yutenji** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 9:32 am

Plus one from GuguToo (my favourite at the moment) ...

"The Ore is not with the light that shines on paper but goes on to the surface of changing face. While Ore up in cloud heaven raise the banana to chase the iguana through the people. Light bulb changing is poison. NOST"

{P.S. No, I have no idea what I just wrote}

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 10:51 am

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 2:18 pm

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."

Q: How many Microsoft tech support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong ... have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many Microsoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don't actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.

Q: How many Microsoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in seven to ten working days. If you call before 2pm and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don't forget to put your name in the upper right-hand corner of the light bulb box.

Q: How many Microsoft managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to determine what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy as it would be for a Mac user.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness™ as the new industry standard.

Q: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 57; one to write WinGetLightBulbHandle(), one to write WinQueryLightBulbStatus(), one to write.....

seraphim · Post by **seraphim** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 3:04 pm

Yutenji wrote:Outstanding! But you forgot ...

1,452 posts asking "wil chnaging ths liteb hlp me gt interview w SIA?"

me three!

CD you amaze me.....please tell me you came up with the original forum joke yourself - its too darn accurate.

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 3:21 pm

seraphim wrote:
Yutenji wrote:Outstanding! But you forgot ...

1,452 posts asking "wil chnaging ths liteb hlp me gt interview w SIA?"
me three!

CD you amaze me.....please tell me you came up with the original forum joke yourself - its too darn accurate.

Well, to be honest, no. I found a similar one while browsing, did some editing... Et voilà!!

Disappointed?

seraphim · Post by **seraphim** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 3:25 pm

Not at all!

I'm still chuckling....

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 3:31 pm

seraphim wrote:Not at all!

I'm still chuckling....

Don't fall from your chair... You might end up with 4 wheels instead of 2 legs...

whatalark · Post by **whatalark** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 4:12 pm

TOO funny!!

dot dot dot · Post by **dot dot dot** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 5:31 pm

Carpe Diem,

You are herewith promoted to sit down comedien, you are unique!

Eric

Carpe Diem · Post by **Carpe Diem** » Fri, 02 Sep 2005 5:34 pm

Eric from the Netherlands wrote:Carpe Diem,

You are herewith promoted to sit down comedien, you are unique!

Eric

Many thanks to our one and only Editor...

SINGAPORE EXPATS FORUM
Singapore Expat Forum and Message Board for Expats in Singapore & Expatriates Relocating to Singapore