nice addendum, Irish!IrishinSing wrote:All those symbols are buttons on my calculator. So is "Cancel" and I will use it if it doesn't add up right!!
Even thou I admire your posts and I agree with mostly of them I might say I do not think like that.Wind In My Hair wrote:recently someone shared with me her perspective on how to tell if a relationship was good for you. i thought I'd put it here just in case it may help someone. it's a simplistic model and won't win any nobel prizes, just take it for what it's worth ok? it uses the four mathematical functions: +, -, x, /.
+ (addition): does the relationship add to your life, eg new perspectives, new skills, new habits (good ones)
- (subtraction): does it take away from eg your happiness, peace of mind, self-esteem, zest for living
x (multiplication): does the relationship multiply your individual talents and gifts, so you use these to help others better than you could on your own
/ (division): does it cause you to feel torn between what you want to do and what you feel you should do, or compete unreasonably for your time
needless to say, you want a relationship where the addition and multiplication effects outweigh the subtraction and division.
Eric, we talking about unconditional love here?Eric from the Netherlands wrote:here's an addition ( + ), although maybe perceived as a subtraction ( - ), but still:
A relationship is to be built, structured, shaped etc etc, not to be consumed. So don't sit back with your math papers in front of you and start noting plusses or minusses, a good relationship takes a lot of effort to build. You won't even have time to reflect the plusses and minusses on the long term. It will grow into something, but only if you put all your efforts, energy and patience in it. And even then... no results guaranteed.
Eric
Eric, appreciate your comments and definitely agree that a relationship has to be built once you've found the right one. I guess this suggestion comes in helpful for those who are not sure whether to stay in a relationship or not. Not everyone is as fortunate as you to be happily married The rest of us lost souls who are still searching sometimes are trapped in relationships that are wrong for us. There comes a time when you need to evaluate whether a relationship is worth fighting to keep. It's hard to think objectively when you are immersed in the relationship though, so sometimes we need some signposts.Eric from the Netherlands wrote:A relationship is to be built, structured, shaped etc etc, not to be consumed. So don't sit back with your math papers in front of you and start noting plusses or minusses, a good relationship takes a lot of effort to build. You won't even have time to reflect the plusses and minusses on the long term. It will grow into something, but only if you put all your efforts, energy and patience in it. And even then... no results guaranteed.
superedge wrote:Even thou I admire your posts and I agree with mostly of them I might say I do not think like that.
IMO, to find good love is like falling from very high into a swimingpool... without worrying if it has water or not. (risky, hun?)
I guess everyone have to find out your own, that was mine... and you have suceeded in finding yours, haven't you?
That's my point Wimh, a marriage doensot even guarantee anything at all. After the wedding the structuring, the shaping etc is just continuing. All efforts needed there as well. Nothing comes itself, it is what you make of it.Wind In My Hair wrote: Not everyone is as fortunate as you to be happily married
correct.Eric from the Netherlands wrote:That's my point Wimh, a marriage doensot even guarantee anything at all. After the wedding the structuring, the shaping etc is just continuing. All efforts needed there as well. Nothing comes itself, it is what you make of it.Wind In My Hair wrote: Not everyone is as fortunate as you to be happily married
I am not implying you are thinking like this, but I just want to blow the airbubble that a marriage is a goal to strive for, as being the ultimate happiness. No way, it is hard work as sms once put out very well in one of his postings I remember.
But, it is worth the efforts...
Eric
chicken and duck talk? i appreciate your point. it's just a different point than i'm trying to make. so there's no disagreement really.Eric from the Netherlands wrote:I am not implying you are thinking like this, but I just want to blow the airbubble that a marriage is a goal to strive for, as being the ultimate happiness. No way, it is hard work as sms once put out very well in one of his postings I remember.
I keep on training lahEric from the Netherlands wrote:haha... Edge, the father thing needs effort too, I agree. But you latino, should be no problem at all lah!
Eric
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests