Do anyone trust e word "future" tt yr Boyfriend promise?

[Vaucluse]

Think u ppl r giving craps again.

Craps is/are illegal in Singapore . . . unless sanctioned as an accepted form of gambling by the gahmen.

[sadgal]

I'm 25 this yr. maybe i din gif much info on it.

[locallass]

Hi,

I have a Boyfriend who is such a career minded that he seems to have no

time for me. He keep telling me that he works hards now is because of

our future, to have more $$ to get a house etc...Recently my friend told

me to see a bridal package which can be pay by installment n i discussed

it with my boyfriend, he doesn't seems interested. It seems that like

everything i started those "ROM" "See Flat" "Wedding Package"...I feel he

is like nt ready. So i decided not to ask anymore n being keep quiet. he

goes home late. Not flirting but is doin business with few of his friends

which i also know. So today he text me n told me tt his friends also show

him bridal package n he ask me to go n see. But he everytime given me

other empty promise. FOr him, i've change alot to cordinate with him. But

what i get is this for now. I've on't want to approach my friends as they

also think that earning $$ is all in their mind. Everytime i cried to bed

whenever i'm lonely


Plz advise.

sadgal, correct me if I'm wrong but your main grouse is that you want to get married but your boyfriend is not ready. May I ask why there is such a big rush? He's not flirting around and is commited to building a better future for the both of you. It's just a matter of time isn't it?

[wawa]

It's just a matter of time isn't it?

... because girls (or everybody) set their own dead line .. especially when you are young ...

I used to set a dead line for myself to get marriage before 30 .. now ..being one more year to hit the dead line .... i realise that I am not ready for it ... so I decide just to follow the flow ...

[Vaucluse]

All these circumsised posts, i.e. u dnt ppl gif dun etc . . . reminds me of a car bumper sticker a long time ago:

ifucanridthisursik

Just as silly.

[locallass]

It's just a matter of time isn't it?

... because girls (or everybody) set their own dead line .. especially when you are young ...

I know what you mean. But getting married will not make a difference- you will still have to struggle with finances. The boyfriend is not wrong for planning ahead and wanting to get married only when they're ready to pay for all the expenses.

You know, the first two years of marriage are the most stressful because you're trying to adjust to each other's lifestyles and habits. Financial stress will add to it. If this could be lessened before marriage, all the better.

And there's nothing to be insecure really, if he's not fooling around and is working hard to secure your future. In fact, I think sadgal is lucky to have a man who is sensible enough to plan ahead.

Have some patience sadgal. Things will work out eventually in the end.

[locallass]

I used to set a dead line for myself to get marriage before 30 .. now ..being one more year to hit the dead line .... i realise that I am not ready for it ... so I decide just to follow the flow ...

I set myself a deadline to get married before 25 too. It didn't work out of course

I don't think I'm ready for marriage either. I'm enjoying a good life now, with money to pay for gym, language classes, restaurant meals, spa, premium concert tickets, nice electronic toys, holidays to Europe etc. Once I get married, all the money will have to go wedding, renovation, furnishing etc expenses. I think I want to enjoy a few more years of the good life first

[wawa]

I don't think I'm ready for marriage either. I'm enjoying a good life now, with money to pay for gym, language classes, restaurant meals, spa, premium concert tickets, nice electronic toys, holidays to Europe etc. Once I get married, all the money will have to go wedding, renovation, furnishing etc expenses. I think I want to enjoy a few more years of the good life first

100% agreed with you ... only marriage when you ready for it .. not for anybody.

[Sadgal]

Well...actually also i would like to know that if any guy succeed, i have friends BF who tend to succeed then tend to hae affair outside. i'm worried. It's all abt $$ doing.

[Vaucluse]

Well...actually also i would like to know that if any guy succeed, i have friends BF who tend to succeed then tend to hae affair outside. i'm worried. It's all abt $$ doing.

You make less sense with every post.

[locallass]

My dear girl, may I ask you why you are so insecure and distrustful? Has your boyfriend given you cause to feel this way? If you distrust and pick on him, you will end up driving him to the arms of another woman. Have more faith in the relationship! You have nothing to worry about at this point but if you continue this way, you most definitely will.

[Sadgal]

I felt insecure because last time before we gt together he told me his

stories. Have alot of fling. Aft i heard i was scared. So I mean tt if he

have e $$ who knows he will do that again? If he nv told me tt i would not

think that way.

[Vaucluse]

I felt insecure because last time before we gt together he told me his

stories. Have alot of fling. Aft i heard i was scared. So I mean tt if he

have e $$ who knows he will do that again? If he nv told me tt i would not

think that way.

Sadgal, could you please, please, use full words when writing - I find it difficult to understand what you are trying to say. The keyboard is easy to use - not trying to be mean, but please refrain from using sms-english

[locallass]

I felt insecure because last time before we gt together he told me his

stories. Have alot of fling. Aft i heard i was scared. So I mean tt if he

have e $$ who knows he will do that again? If he nv told me tt i would not

think that way.

Actually a man does not need money to have flings. You mentioned he's had flings in the past, didn't you? When he still wasn't rich yet.

If he trusts you enough to tell you these stories, you have little to worry about. It's only when he wants to hide details of his past that the red flags should appear.

Trust is very important in a relationship. If you cannot trust him now, walk. If so, stay and make the best out of it. Who knows what tomorrow holds? But worrying about it now just adds unneccessary stress.