Do anyone trust e word "future" tt yr Boyfriend promise?

[Sadgal]

Hi,

I have a Boyfriend who is such a career minded that he seems to have no

time for me. He keep telling me that he works hards now is because of

our future, to have more $$ to get a house etc...Recently my friend told

me to see a bridal package which can be pay by installment n i discussed

it with my boyfriend, he doesn't seems interested. It seems that like

everything i started those "ROM" "See Flat" "Wedding Package"...I feel he

is like nt ready. So i decided not to ask anymore n being keep quiet. he

goes home late. Not flirting but is doin business with few of his friends

which i also know. So today he text me n told me tt his friends also show

him bridal package n he ask me to go n see. But he everytime given me

other empty promise. FOr him, i've change alot to cordinate with him. But

what i get is this for now. I've on't want to approach my friends as they

also think that earning $$ is all in their mind. Everytime i cried to bed

whenever i'm lonely


Plz advise.

[I Can Help]

Sadgal,

I can turn all your loneliness to ecstasy. Just leave your email address and we'll get in touch.

[Strong Eagle]

Sounds like your boyfriend is very matericalistically focused and has not yet learned that the important things in life are relationships and following the yearnings of the Self.

But I have to ask you... you seem rather materialistic yourself. Your complaint is about him not going to see wedding packages, or flats, or other materialistic things. Only in the last line do you talk about being lonely.

I think you need to think long and hard as to what is important for you. Your boyfriend has been seduced by materialism and will not be easily changed. You must decide if you want to live that life or one that may be poorer or more loving. If it's the latter, get a new boy friend.

[dot dot dot]

Give yourself some time like SE said, don't overfocus so much on marriage and other / or 'tangible' stabilities for the future. it will come with time, just relax and enjoy life.

I can't help thinking: Why, o why is it here in Singapore that all people are so much obsessed with materialistic ideals and marriage as proof of a stable future?

Eric

[Vaucluse]

I'd agree with Strong Eagle here - you both seem quite materialistic - he in terms of earning it and you in terms of spending it.

Now, I will presume that your are both young-ish! So, why the hurry? Let him get into the rush of finally earning decent money!!!!
For all those years he had his face pressed against the stereo shop window, wishing for a top sound, but having no money, let him cajole himself with the fact that he is now able to spend if he wants to.

Now, why would you want to hold him back - it's called making a sacrifice for the future, all this hard work of his. Let him do it all now instead of later when you might have kids and need help in raising them.

Also, the fact that he is looking at condo's etc is better than no planning or wanting to spend it on a second-hand merc or corvette to justify his manhood.

If he doesn't want to talk about 'your' wishes, needs and wants then he is simply not ready - possibly you two are not compatible.

(To 'Duh', 'OUT' and whoever else - this is a tender response, so bugger off!)

[riversandlakes]

Indeed, please re-read your post and realize how self-contradicting you are. Would you require a $50,000 wedding dinner? Can it suffice with inviting close relatives and a visit to the Registrar?

[banana]

You don't need a boyfriend, you need a genie.

[wawa]

I heard a same story from my best friend .. she was married ..

and now she still complaining on the same things ... she is lonely because her husband still busy working ... trying to earn more money ..

Hopefully you understand that marriage is not a magic .. it's won't change a person .. your boy friend (may be your future husband) will still busy .. and you .. still lonely

[Vaucluse]

I heard a same story from my best friend .. she was married ..

and now she still complaining on the same things ... she is lonely because her husband still busy working ... trying to earn more money ..

Hopefully you understand that marriage is not a magic .. it's won't change a person .. your boy friend (may be your future husband) will still busy .. and you .. still lonely

. . . but happily spending money . . .

[wawa]

. . . but happily spending money . . .

Provided the husband willing to let her spend ...

For my friend case ... NO WAY !!

Girls, why not stand up and look for your own life while your bf or husband busy ..

[Wind In My Hair]

(To 'Duh', 'OUT' and whoever else - this is a tender response, so bugger off!)

ah the feminine side of vaucluse finally showing... you sweet little poochie... come here tinkle toes, let me hug you...

[Vaucluse]

I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side - hence the new avatar, well same but different pose.

[sadgal]

Think u ppl r giving craps again.

[Wind In My Hair]

dear sadgal,

please don't take the joke personally, i was not ignoring you and apologise if your feelings were hurt.

ok craps aside, it sounds like your main problem is you feel lonely? i'm not sure how to advise cos i don't know the problem... do you want your bf to spend more time with you, do you want him to spend more money on you, or do you want everybody to stop thinking about money and start thinking about starting families etc?

and what makes you happy? until you know what you are looking for you will not find it. your bf may or may not be the best husband for you... depending on what kind of man you want for a husband. you sound young and sometimes it takes years to figure out what we want.

so my advice would be to not take things so seriously for now. the bridal package is only about the wedding, which is one day in your lifetime. i think you should be spending far more time thinking about all the other days of your life you will have to live with this person... do you really want to? is your relationship a solid enough foundation to build a marriage on? don't worry too much about the bridal package, worry about the entire life package you are about to get into.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Think u ppl r giving craps again.

Sadgal, you did not give us any indication of either of your ages. This could change everybody's responses. Unfortunately, with your writing style it seems you are very young, in fact, too young to be even contemplating marriage.

sms