CONFESSION

[Carpe Diem]

Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends.
One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess.
He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me."
The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was."
The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did.
"Was it Mollie O'Grady ?" asked the Father."
"No."
"Was it Rosie Kelly?"
"No."
"Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?"
"No."
"Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven."

When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness." "No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"

[Baron Greenback]

Good as always CD. On a similar note:


A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father,
it has been one month since my last confession.
I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three
Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two
months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green
twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well,"
says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's.

"The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his
sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.

All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and
sits down in front of the Altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs
slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie
Green?!"

The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her
shoes.